Biased moderation

[RufusB]

	Quote:	amogles
	Does "standing your ground" and "refusing to be cowed" extend to sending menacing PMs and hounding certain users, no matter where they were or what they were posting?

Absolutely not. Never any need for that.

[doropfiz]

	Quote:	amogles
	Does "standing your ground" and "refusing to be cowed" extend to sending menacing PMs and hounding certain users, no matter where they were or what they were posting?

No-one should be sending menacing PMs to anyone, ever. No insults, no threats. It is probably against the forum rules (I haven't checked), but it is also just plain bad manners.

No-one should be hounding any other user, either, ever. Since the definition of "how far counts as hounding" it's probably less easily formulated in a rule, but it is still tedious, destructive and often plainly cruel behaviour.

[doropfiz]

The following are some general ways to deal with offensive, rude, insulting, menacing, hounding, stirring, divisive or threatening posts or PMs, to be used singly or in combination:

• If you think there might be some hope of a change, write a polite, unagressive, non-provocative PM to that user explaining what you didn't like, and asking them to keep their posts a bit more moderate and less offensive. Sometimes that actually helps.
  
  
• On threads, don't give in to the temptation to respond in a similar way to the person who is trying to provoke. Other than, perhaps, a brief post to say that you don't agree, and asking them to please stop posting in that manner. Sometimes that actually does de-escalate. For the rest, just step over those posts and respond, instead, to other users who are less nasty.
  
  
• Check your own posting style, and the PMs you have sent, and ask yourself whether your grandmother or your children would approve, and perhaps tone down what you write, lest it be you who has become provocative and troublesome. Likewise, if other posters repeatedly seem to call you out on your manner, then consider whether their criticism might be valid, and see whether you could find a way not to offend them.
  
  
• If you see that a user's offending behaviour tends to recur in a certain thread, then try avoiding that thread, for a while, or altogther.
  
  
• Block the offending user by putting them on your "ignore list", where this is permitted (unfortunately, it is not allowed to block a mod).

  PMs from a user on your "ignore list" will be suppressed as they hit your inbox. You will see that they have written to you, but will not see the content, unless you take them off your "ignore list" again.
  Posts by a user on your "ignore list" will be suppressed, too, and show up with the text: "This message is hidden because Username is on your ignore list."

• Spend less time on the forum for a while, in the hope that the nasty behaviour will subside. Enjoy some other kind of human contact out there in Real Life, or spend time on one of your other fora. That helps to relativizes the significance of this Forum.
  
  
• Report the abuse to a mod you think is trustworthy.

And lastly, if none of the above helps,

• If there is a repeated pattern of bad behaviour, report this to Editor Bob, who might intervene, if he thinks the issue is serious enough, and if others have also written to him about the same matter.

	Quote:	doropfiz
	No-one should be sending menacing PMs to anyone, ever. No insults, no threats. It is probably against the forum rules (I haven't checked), but it is also just plain bad manners. No-one should be hounding any other user, either, ever. Since the definition of "how far counts as hounding" it's probably less easily formulated in a rule, but it is still tedious, destructive and often plainly cruel behaviour.

I guess I should consider myself lucky as I have never received a menacing PM - and I have run counter to lots of arguments on this forum...