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Old 14.10.2021, 21:13
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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true that. but those people were lame ( or dead by now, what are they 60?)
I'm guessing you're not much younger.
  #62  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:20
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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Yes, unfortunately some EFers are now dead - not through age
From time to time, an old thread comes up and I see names and posts of some who have 'left us', and it does feel very strange and sad.
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  #63  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:22
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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I'm a newbie around here, and I have certainly found the forum helpful for a wide variety of questions. Moving to a new country is challenging, and I'm very appreciative of the people on here who generously share their knowledge and wisdom with others.

I know nothing about the backstories or politics of EF, nor do I want to. I could see there was a lot of emotion in the last few weeks leading to the big change, which is not necessarily a bad thing - emotion shows that people really care about it.


For what it's worth from a newbie perspective, I have appreciated the kinder tones and more knowledge-sharing in the last few weeks. Some of the hostility and aggression that was displayed before the shake-up was off-putting, and although I've stayed out of it, there have been times that I've hesitated to put up a thread asking a question because I didn't want to get abused for it (important note - I've not actually experienced any abuse here myself, but seeing it happen to other people does make me question whether I want to put myself in that position).
Thank you, Jess! This is a great post, setting out - like the post of Matty, above - what is wonderful and encouraging about this forum (and why so many of us stay, or have returned), and also the reasons you hesitated to even pose your questions. Please, go for it, ask away, and let's see what else EF can help you with.
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  #64  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:26
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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As someone who is 61 and recently diagnosed with cancer, I find that comment insensitive in the extreme.
Hey, Klostersgirl, I'm sorry to read that this, too, is happening to you. You've been through the mill, really, over the past few years. It just seems so unfair. (Yeah, yeah, I know people say "well, life IS unfair", but you've gotten rather too many dollops of what isn't good.)

Here's hoping you receive supportive medical professional help, and have good people around you.
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  #65  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:36
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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As someone who is 61 and recently diagnosed with cancer, I find that comment insensitive in the extreme.
Think positive, I had my annual visit to the cancer clinic today and they said they do not need to see me anymore and I am almost twenty years older than you.

Modern medicine is very capable.
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  #66  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:46
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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I had my annual visit to the cancer clinic today and they said they do not need to see me anymore .
Yay, that's very good news! Pleased to here that!
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  #67  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:52
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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As someone who is 61 and recently diagnosed with cancer, I find that comment insensitive in the extreme.
I'm 62, pushing 63, and don't mind at all.

Tom
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  #68  
Old 14.10.2021, 21:55
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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I'm 62, pushing 63, and don't mind at all.

Tom
I find that comment insensitive too as you no doubt intended. I guess you haven't just been diagnosed with a life threatening illness so the affect on you is not the same.
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  #69  
Old 14.10.2021, 22:24
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

I am 70 and I do mind, big time. Not about age, I truly don't care. But about someone who has been diagnosed with a life threatening illness and who is very concerned. I do mind, a lot.

And knowing your history, your comment is so much more cruel and insensitive- just unbelievable, really.
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Old 14.10.2021, 22:43
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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As someone who is 61 and recently diagnosed with cancer, I find that comment insensitive in the extreme.
I'm so sorry you have been dealt the sh*tty C card, I hate that vile, unfair disease with the passion of a thousand suns. A friend in her mid-thirties is in the midst of her second battle against breast cancer. Last year, a friend died a month before her 37th birthday, leaving two young boys behind. It seems so utterly random and poisons lives far beyond those who are taken ill. I hope that the initial shock will settle and that there are good options for you.

In defence of ouchboy: His comment was very definitely aimed at the people he knows personally who liked to tease him for being a tad younger and less cynical. If you had the pleasure of knowing him in person, you would know that he is an incredibly kind person who would travel halfway across the world to care for someone they love if the need arose.

So while everything seems too loud and unfair and generally like you are suddenly foreign in your own life, it's best not to take something like this to heart quite as much as you have. There will unfortunately be many, MANY stupid comments to face, from well-meaning friends to ill-tempered healthcare providers. Conserve your energy, you will need all of it.
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  #71  
Old 15.10.2021, 07:24
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

Thank you. Yes, I probably felt over sensitive as I heard yesterday that a friend with the same cancer has just been re-diagnosed after a five year remission.

Although I am not a prolific poster and don't know anyone on the Forum, I have the feeling from reading st2leman's posts that he is not big on empathy. It seems my assumption was correct. I accept your comment about Ouchboy.
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  #72  
Old 15.10.2021, 07:41
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

Sometimes it’s the people who have been through the roughest of times who don’t appear empathetic, though they actually are.
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  #73  
Old 15.10.2021, 07:54
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

That may be the case. Anyway, it was not my intention to hijack this thread. Thank you to those who wished me well.
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  #74  
Old 15.10.2021, 07:55
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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Thank you. Yes, I probably felt over sensitive as I heard yesterday that a friend with the same cancer has just been re-diagnosed after a five year remission.

Although I am not a prolific poster and don't know anyone on the Forum, I have the feeling from reading st2leman's posts that he is not big on empathy. It seems my assumption was correct. I accept your comment about Ouchboy.
Thank you for this post Klostersgirl. If we've learnt anything from the recent forum down time is that it is best not to take comments personally. It was brave of you to be honest about your news. Sorry to hear about your friend being re-diagnosed. I don't know about your past health (but doropfiz commented on it) I hope you continue to post and update us. I remember you were helpful during the ski tourists who "invaded" switzerland last year. Your posts were always helpful.
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  #75  
Old 15.10.2021, 08:12
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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That may be the case. Anyway, it was not my intention to hijack this thread. Thank you to those who wished me well.
You haven’t hijacked the thread at all 🌸

Good that we can be here for each other, I personally, wouldn’t want it any other way.
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  #76  
Old 15.10.2021, 09:16
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

After this thread
https://www.englishforum.ch/daily-li...gy-cereal.html

I was wondering what's being cooked up next.

There I have it.

OP,
Some of us have lives.
  #77  
Old 15.10.2021, 09:19
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

I hope it's okay to share my thoughts about this... as I recently had a discussion about something a bit similar, regarding sensitivity, with my close friend who is a professor of psychology.

The thing about being sensitive to what someone says to us or about us or does to us... We don't really have the ability to choose to NOT be sensitive to something. We also don't always have the ability to choose how we react to it. And of course, it's much easier (usually) to be less sensitive about something when it's perceived in hindsight and the emotions have perhaps settled a bit.

Anyways, my friend told me that it's okay to be sensitive and for us to express when something hurts us or offends us and that we shouldn't be expected to be cold, unfeeling robots because that's not how our nervous systems are wired in the first place. So, basically, she said that it's okay to be sensitive sometimes and that if someone says something that hurts us or offends us, there is most likely a valid reason for that and that we should trust our emotions in that regard and not let others invalidate them, which (she said) is basically a mild form of gaslighting. It's easy for someone else to say "Don't be so sensitive" when they are not the one who was hurt or offended in the first place.

I'm sorry to rant, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there about that, as I've seen quite a few times here where someone has said "Don't take things so personally" or "Don't be so sensitive," etc. Just because one person may not be easily sensitive doesn't mean that everyone else shouldn't be either. And the fact is, highly sensitive people are 'wired' differently. They don't really have the ability to choose to not be sensitive. And again, it's easy for someone else to say "Don't be so sensitive" when they are not the one who was hurt or offended.

Klostergirl... I am truly so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and I hope that you have a good support system there, around you, and that you will pull through this. For what it's worth, I know quite a few people who have beat "the C word." Please stay strong... and please don't lose hope.

Hugs~ <3
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  #78  
Old 15.10.2021, 09:28
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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Thank you. Yes, I probably felt over sensitive as I heard yesterday that a friend with the same cancer has just been re-diagnosed after a five year remission.

Although I am not a prolific poster and don't know anyone on the Forum, I have the feeling from reading st2leman's posts that he is not big on empathy. It seems my assumption was correct. I accept your comment about Ouchboy.
I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It must have been quite upsetting to read posts like those when your diagnosis was quite new and you were feeling fragile due to other things too.
I hope you are receiving effective treatment and the prognosis is positive.

Please don’t apologise for hijacking the thread, an important part of this forum is helping and supporting people when they need it. We don’t want anybody te be afraid to share their stories whatever they may be.

St2lemans posts to provoke reactions, most of us just ignore him when he does that.
I don’t really know much about ouchboy but it appears his comment was aimed at people he knows.

Last edited by Belgianmum; 15.10.2021 at 09:44.
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  #79  
Old 15.10.2021, 09:34
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

In other news, the new mods appear to be foodies....

Nickatbasel is into peas, Belgianmom loves beef briskets, Sky is into panna cotta (what else could be dolce e moderata?)....I am kidding guys, it's just clearly there's a new vibe here, more humane and less...uptight.
God, it's refreshing. Like some other people here, I find all these discussions about the lack of proper bagels in CH and the ugly house pretty much entertaining. I do not wish to have all that craziness and rudeness back.
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Old 15.10.2021, 09:36
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Re: Forum gone quiet?

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In other news, the new mods appear to be foodies....

Nickatbasel is into peas, Belgianmom loves beef briskets, Sky is into panna cotta (what else could be dolce e moderata?)....I am kidding guys, it's just clearly there's a new vibe here, more humane and less...uptight.
God, it's refreshing. Like some other people here, I find all these discussions about the lack of proper bagels in CH and the ugly house pretty much entertaining. I do not wish to have all that craziness and rudeness back.
Would actually quite like a Foodie thread, maybe a Wine-y one too where we could discuss offers etc.
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