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Old 19.01.2011, 21:11
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What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

So, there I was, trying to enjoy the balmy spring weather in the park this afternoon, when I was accosted by a dog, which came galloping towards me, its tail wagging, its hideously salivating tongue lolling, its ochre coloured teeth glistening, clearly intending to attack me and tear out my entrails for its 'zvieri. Well, fortunately, I always carry my AR-15 with me on my evening constitutionals, so I was able to pump a few well deserved slugs into the foul creature's frothy maw before it could get near me with its horrible squeaky bone. I despise Maltese terriers, anyway.

So, striding over the smoking remains of that monstrous hound, I set off to find its master. Master? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong: apparently in this country, they allow women to have dogs! No wonder the rabid mutt wasn't under control - women, after all, have no idea about such things. They all seem to think that dogs are like furry dolls, to be petted and played with and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house.

Well, as if it wasn't bad enough finding a woman in charge of a loose dog, I noticed that she was carrying a small bundle, pressed closely to her bosom. As I got closer, I realised the irresponsible bint had actually got her bosoms out! In public! Nursing some horrible, crumple-faced infant! Can you believe that? I mean, there was a public toilet just a few yards away, and as far as I could see the floor wasn't too wet in there. I mean, why on earth did she think she had the right to expose decent people to the sight of her flaccid paps swinging in the wind?

By this time, I was furious, so I felt obliged to raise my voice to her. "Hey, there!" I cried, "What d'you think the big idea is, eh?". She looked at me with large dumb brown eyes, like a kicked spaniel, and began to stutter something in some barbaric foreign language - Palestinian, I think - like she deliberately didn't want to understand Plain English! The impertinence of this woman! Well, I was determined to make her understand, so I kicked aside her crutches so I could get close enough for her to hear, and repeated my question, but louder.

At this point, she began to squeeze out a few fake tears. Can you believe how deceitful and manipulative this woman was? Tears pouring down her cheeks, she started whining at me in some horrible foreign language - Yugoslavian, I think - and began to quiver.

Enough was enough, I thought. It was almost time to go back to work, and my bosses don't pay me 120 000 CHF a year to chat to silly women in the park (not that that's anywhere near enough to live on in this country!), so I decided to forgive her insolence and leave her be.

Anyway, what is this country coming to? I don't pay all that tax and contribute so much to the local economy just to be surrounded by rude, irresponsible foreigners who haven't the simple courtesy to speak English to me.

(Wollishofener: the race is on :-)
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  #2  
Old 19.01.2011, 21:20
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Awwww, all for me?
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Old 19.01.2011, 21:39
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
So, there I was, trying to enjoy the balmy spring weather in the park this afternoon, when I was accosted by a dog, which came galloping towards me, its tail wagging, its hideously salivating tongue lolling, its ochre coloured teeth glistening, clearly intending to attack me and tear out my entrails for its 'zvieri. Well, fortunately, I always carry my AR-15 with me on my evening constitutionals, so I was able to pump a few well deserved slugs into the foul creature's frothy maw before it could get near me with its horrible squeaky bone. I despise Maltese terriers, anyway.

So, striding over the smoking remains of that monstrous hound, I set off to find its master. Master? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong: apparently in this country, they allow women to have dogs! No wonder the rabid mutt wasn't under control - women, after all, have no idea about such things. They all seem to think that dogs are like furry dolls, to be petted and played with and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house.

Well, as if it wasn't bad enough finding a woman in charge of a loose dog, I noticed that she was carrying a small bundle, pressed closely to her bosom. As I got closer, I realised the irresponsible bint had actually got her bosoms out! In public! Nursing some horrible, crumple-faced infant! Can you believe that? I mean, there was a public toilet just a few yards away, and as far as I could see the floor wasn't too wet in there. I mean, why on earth did she think she had the right to expose decent people to the sight of her flaccid paps swinging in the wind?

By this time, I was furious, so I felt obliged to raise my voice to her. "Hey, there!" I cried, "What d'you think the big idea is, eh?". She looked at me with large dumb brown eyes, like a kicked spaniel, and began to stutter something in some barbaric foreign language - Palestinian, I think - like she deliberately didn't want to understand Plain English! The impertinence of this woman! Well, I was determined to make her understand, so I kicked aside her crutches so I could get close enough for her to hear, and repeated my question, but louder.

At this point, she began to squeeze out a few fake tears. Can you believe how deceitful and manipulative this woman was? Tears pouring down her cheeks, she started whining at me in some horrible foreign language - Yugoslavian, I think - and began to quiver.

Enough was enough, I thought. It was almost time to go back to work, and my bosses don't pay me 120 000 CHF a year to chat to silly women in the park (not that that's anywhere near enough to live on in this country!), so I decided to forgive her insolence and leave her be.

Anyway, what is this country coming to? I don't pay all that tax and contribute so much to the local economy just to be surrounded by rude, irresponsible foreigners who haven't the simple courtesy to speak English to me.

(Wollishofener: the race is on :-)



No groan from me. Try harder.
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  #4  
Old 19.01.2011, 21:45
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

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No groan from me. Try harder.
To the left a bit?
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  #5  
Old 19.01.2011, 21:51
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
To the left a bit?
No me luv, she said harder
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  #6  
Old 19.01.2011, 22:00
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

I think you should go easy on the class As DB ...
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  #7  
Old 19.01.2011, 22:01
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

No groan from me either.... You didn't include muslims, Hezbollah, cigarettes and noise complains...

Pffff!
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Old 19.01.2011, 22:03
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
...... and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house.
Ahem. That's enough of that mischief.
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  #9  
Old 19.01.2011, 22:16
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Don't know what that was all about but I liked it anyway.
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Old 19.01.2011, 22:41
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
.... apparently in this country, they allow women to have dogs! No wonder the rabid mutt wasn't under control - women, after all, have no idea about such things. They all seem to think that dogs are like furry dolls, to be petted and played with and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house. ....llishofener: the race is on :-)
Should she have been more like this?

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Old 19.01.2011, 22:48
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

I remember this so well (not the vid , but when it happened to me)
England 1975?

It was explained to me that it was time to 'withdraw and powder our noses' (no not like that !) so 'the chaps could have port and cigars and proper conversation.
You cannot believe how pompous and conservative England seemed to me after growing up in Switzerland in the 60s. /
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  #12  
Old 20.01.2011, 08:26
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
You cannot believe how pompous and conservative England seemed to me after growing up in Switzerland in the 60s. /
When you still didn't have the vote
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Old 20.01.2011, 08:44
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
So, there I was, trying to enjoy the balmy spring weather in the park this afternoon, when I was accosted by a dog, which came galloping towards me, its tail wagging, its hideously salivating tongue lolling, its ochre coloured teeth glistening, clearly intending to attack me and tear out my entrails for its 'zvieri. Well, fortunately, I always carry my AR-15 with me on my evening constitutionals, so I was able to pump a few well deserved slugs into the foul creature's frothy maw before it could get near me with its horrible squeaky bone. I despise Maltese terriers, anyway.

So, striding over the smoking remains of that monstrous hound, I set off to find its master. Master? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong: apparently in this country, they allow women to have dogs! No wonder the rabid mutt wasn't under control - women, after all, have no idea about such things. They all seem to think that dogs are like furry dolls, to be petted and played with and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house.

Well, as if it wasn't bad enough finding a woman in charge of a loose dog, I noticed that she was carrying a small bundle, pressed closely to her bosom. As I got closer, I realised the irresponsible bint had actually got her bosoms out! In public! Nursing some horrible, crumple-faced infant! Can you believe that? I mean, there was a public toilet just a few yards away, and as far as I could see the floor wasn't too wet in there. I mean, why on earth did she think she had the right to expose decent people to the sight of her flaccid paps swinging in the wind?

By this time, I was furious, so I felt obliged to raise my voice to her. "Hey, there!" I cried, "What d'you think the big idea is, eh?". She looked at me with large dumb brown eyes, like a kicked spaniel, and began to stutter something in some barbaric foreign language - Palestinian, I think - like she deliberately didn't want to understand Plain English! The impertinence of this woman! Well, I was determined to make her understand, so I kicked aside her crutches so I could get close enough for her to hear, and repeated my question, but louder.

At this point, she began to squeeze out a few fake tears. Can you believe how deceitful and manipulative this woman was? Tears pouring down her cheeks, she started whining at me in some horrible foreign language - Yugoslavian, I think - and began to quiver.

Enough was enough, I thought. It was almost time to go back to work, and my bosses don't pay me 120 000 CHF a year to chat to silly women in the park (not that that's anywhere near enough to live on in this country!), so I decided to forgive her insolence and leave her be.

Anyway, what is this country coming to? I don't pay all that tax and contribute so much to the local economy just to be surrounded by rude, irresponsible foreigners who haven't the simple courtesy to speak English to me.

(Wollishofener: the race is on :-)
That is the problem with this country today, bloody high paid foreigners like you pushing up house prices and rents (that the poor locals can't afford anyway) (see separate thread) so the rest of us bloody foreigners need to spend an inordinate amount of time on forums complaining about it, following this logic you should consider a voluntary pay cut so my landlord can reduce my rent. And anyway Maltese terriers are not so bad if you marinate them overnight in chili and soy sauce and slow cook them on a charcoal grill.
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Old 20.01.2011, 10:58
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

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When you still didn't have the vote
Absolutely correct Economisto.

But we had fun, lots of, I can promise you.
Those 70s English dinner parties were deadly. What is the point of having the vote if you are not even allowed to express any 'views' (OMG!) at the dinner table and 'ladies' have to leave so chaps could have 'proper' conversation. Stepford ruled, OK.

Last edited by Odile; 20.01.2011 at 12:22. Reason: typo
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Old 20.01.2011, 11:11
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

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Old 20.01.2011, 11:32
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

You didn't mention the pope......
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Old 20.01.2011, 11:56
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Quote:
...
So, striding over the smoking remains of that monstrous hound, I set off to find its master. Master? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong: apparently in this country, they allow women to have dogs! No wonder the rabid mutt wasn't under control - women, after all, have no idea about such things. They all seem to think that dogs are like furry dolls, to be petted and played with and brought to bed when there are no batteries in the house.

...
(Wollishofener: the race is on :-)
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!

For once your political-uncorrectedness made my day!
And the thing with the batteries* - jeepers, man!

Let's hear it from the femmes ...!
let the slugfest begin


Paul
*p.s. not all those items require batteries. And nukuliar power isn't too far away in the future
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Old 20.01.2011, 12:10
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

Hey DB: Is Number7 your alter ego?
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Old 20.01.2011, 12:27
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

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Hey DB: Is Number7 your alter ego?
He doesn't reach DB's ankles... an amateur!
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Old 14.05.2011, 19:01
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Re: What is this country coming to? Grrrr....

wow, what non-intellectual, paternalistic, misogynistic men we have here. sounds like some issues with mama have transcended you. it sounds like someone needs a lot of therapy. please dont try to fool anyone with claiming you are the reason for high rents! paleeeze....a real dignified man worth his own salt would never have the brainless impotence to post such deprecation. sorry your mama treated you so badly! hope you get well soon. oh, and animal cruelty is against the law.
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