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  #21  
Old 22.02.2011, 11:40
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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......... Perhaps a person with a stronger self esteem will be able to ask for help BUT there is still always the choice.....

Interesting. So a person with strong self esteem will never battle with addiction. Good to know!
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  #22  
Old 22.02.2011, 11:51
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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Haha! Now, you could be onto something there! Guess that includes you too!?
No.


Addiction+Denial=Out of control
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  #23  
Old 22.02.2011, 11:58
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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No.


Addiction+Denial=Out of control
Word...
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  #24  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:04
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

I worked here for 7 months and took a 2 day training course. I had to work with 12 addicts, and I can state that addiction is a mental illness. An individual cannot break the true addiction, he spirals downwards and self destructs. Patients there were addicted to alcohol, cigarrettes, peanuts, and work. Didn't see a sex addict though. http://www.lepi.ch/index.html
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  #25  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:07
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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George Best still had a choice. He didn't have the willpower to fight it. He obviously knew he was addicted but chose not to deal with it. It was easier to keep feeding the monster than to fight it.

People weren't born addicted. They slowly became addicted, choosing to ignore the signs and succumbing to the addiction. Addiction is really just a symptom of some weakness in character. When addicts choose to fight their addiction, they usually have two battles:
1. the addiction itself
2. dealing with the reason why they became addicted in the first place.
Olygirl, I agree with you and I wish the Thank Button was there.

I wish to add a little thing here, if you don't mind. People can born with addictions if the mother was an addict herself of meds or drugs. But also, someone can carry the addiction gene. Those people tend to fall easilly in all kind of addictions. They don't know when to stop. I had a friend like that who's dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and the guy grow up with a alcoholic step dad. The guy couldn't refrain himself on almost anything: Gambling, cigarettes, drugs (when no drugs available or when he stopped he felt into alcohol).

I believe that he has the gene of addiction. But I also believe that it is his choice to keep going like this or make a life change and get help (which he always refused).

So yes, you can be born like this but even then, you can make the choice to stop it.
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  #26  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:26
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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But the legitimacy now being granted to sex addiction requires a closer look.
I have never really understood sex addiction. If i go at it with the wife twice a day, thats a healthy sex life, right? If i pay for it twice a day its addiction, right? so is the problem the sex, or the choice of partner?

Also, can i be a sex addict, but not getting any sex due to constant refusals..? Am i trivialising?
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  #27  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:34
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

The sex addict spend his whole life thinking and planning for sex. Every new relation are a sex potential partner and they are seeking for new partners all the time. They can't be satisfied with only one and every day, every minute of their life is spend in getting the next fix.
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  #28  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:36
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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I have never really understood sex addiction. If i go at it with the wife twice a day, thats a healthy sex life, right? If i pay for it twice a day its addiction, right? so is the problem the sex, or the choice of partner?

Also, can i be a sex addict, but not getting any sex due to constant refusals..? Am i trivialising?
I am really wondering why your handle is "soixante_neuf" (69).
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  #29  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:38
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

I'm sorry , I'm from Mexico. Is that the same as 'gettin' a lot'?"
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  #30  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:38
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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Olygirl, I agree with you and I wish the Thank Button was there.

I wish to add a little thing here, if you don't mind. People can born with addictions if the mother was an addict herself of meds or drugs. But also, someone can carry the addiction gene. Those people tend to fall easilly in all kind of addictions. They don't know when to stop. I had a friend like that who's dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and the guy grow up with a alcoholic step dad. The guy couldn't refrain himself on almost anything: Gambling, cigarettes, drugs (when no drugs available or when he stopped he felt into alcohol).

I believe that he has the gene of addiction. But I also believe that it is his choice to keep going like this or make a life change and get help (which he always refused).

So yes, you can be born like this but even then, you can make the choice to stop it.
You have contradicted yourself here. In one instance you say the guy could not restrain himself ... and then you mention that even if you are born with the tendency you still have the choice to stop it.
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  #31  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:44
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

Babies can be born addicted if their mothers were addicts. Thanks for bringing that up. However, most addicts were not born addicts so I will still stick to my arguements.
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  #32  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:44
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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You have contradicted yourself here. In one instance you say the guy could not restrain himself ... and then you mention that even if you are born with the tendency you still have the choice to stop it.
Yes. Two opposites can be possible together.

The guy can't restrain himself, because he doesn't seek for help.

Someone can take the choice to seek for help and get over his addictions and control it.

When it is genetic, you can say that you are addict you whole life. Like an alcoholic is alcoholic is whole life. But he can stop it and stay away from it.

His choice.
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  #33  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:48
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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I worked here for 7 months and took a 2 day training course. I had to work with 12 addicts, and I can state that addiction is a mental illness. An individual cannot break the true addiction, he spirals downwards and self destructs. Patients there were addicted to alcohol, cigarrettes, peanuts, and work. Didn't see a sex addict though. http://www.lepi.ch/index.html
This is absolutely correct. My sister is a counsellor at the Priory Clinic in London and would attest to that.
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  #34  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:53
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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This is absolutely correct. My sister is a counsellor at the Priory Clinic in London and would attest to that.
She's working with addicts who are seeking help. That's the first step to getting over their addiction. All these people have made a conscious decision to get help. For those who are being forced into rehabilitation, it will not work until the addict is truly convinced he needs help.
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  #35  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:56
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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She's working with addicts who are seeking help. That's the first step to getting over their addiction. All these people have made a conscious decision to get help. For those who are being forced into rehabilitation, it will not work until the addict is truly convinced he needs help.
That is precisely what I said in an earlier post. Recognition by an addict of their addiction is the first step towards their rehabilitation.
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  #36  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:59
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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I am really wondering why your handle is "soixante_neuf" (69).
It's my favourite page of the bible.
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  #37  
Old 22.02.2011, 12:59
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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The sex addict spend his whole life thinking and planning for sex. Every new relation are a sex potential partner and they are seeking for new partners all the time. They can't be satisfied with only one and every day, every minute of their life is spend in getting the next fix.
I think you've just described every 16 year old boy, the world over!
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  #38  
Old 22.02.2011, 13:10
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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I think you've just described every 16 year old boy, the world over!
, I think they call it addiction when men can't get over their 16...
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  #39  
Old 22.02.2011, 13:14
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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It is not as simple as that. The whole point of addiction is the addict's inability to say no. Purely and simply.

The very first step in attempting recovery for an addict requires their recognition of the fact that they actually have a problem.
It's a conscious decision to recognize their addiction. It's a choice they make.
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  #40  
Old 22.02.2011, 13:25
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Re: The Truth About Sex Addiction

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It's a conscious decision to recognize their addiction. It's a choice they make.
Agreed. But sadly, as Ittigen mentioned earlier, addiction normally takes the form of a frightening downward spiral. More often than not it is only when an addict loses everything (job, income, family, home), and therefore the ability to feed their addiction, that they seek help. This implies that it becomes not so much a question of choice but inevitability.
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