What would Chuck Norris do?

22 Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
6. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
13. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
15. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
19.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
21. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
22. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.



I can't get this outta my head for some reason. Perhaps sharing it will help.

from: http://mike.wordpress.com/2005/12/05...ris-the-facts/

Is this 'Love Chuck Norris Day'?

20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

You're a scientist, ChemG. If I divide 2 by 1, I get 2, right?
But if I divide 2 by 0, do I get infinity?

(I'm contemplating eating the remainder two muffins or letting the other half eat one of them, or just leavin' 'em alone, see?)

You can't divide something by nothing because you can't multiply by nothing to get something. Chuck Norris can though.

"Division by zero is an operation for which you cannot find an answer, so it is disallowed. You can understand why if you think about how division and multiplication are related.
12 divided by 6 is 2 because
6 times 2 is 12

12 divided by 0 is x would mean that
0 times x = 12
But no value would work for x because 0 times any number is 0. So division by zero doesn't work."

Thanks, Chem. Not allowed? Mmmffff!


I love Mr Norris already.

Somebody though 'Chuck Norris' was a command. He died in the attempt.

The universe is expanding because everything wants to get away from Chuck Norris.

God said 'let there be light!'. Chuck Norris said 'say please'.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas!

I always remember watching an episode of "Walker:Texas Ranger" with this classic conversation

Sidekick "Did you see that great Chuck Norris film last night?"
Chuck Norris "Chuck who?"

Just goes to show...

The only person who doesn't know Chuck Norris is...


...Chuck Norris!

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

I think Terrys treatise was better.

I have no idea how the discussion came about mind...

dave

WTF are you talking about?

IIRC both are correct, depending whether you're working with the set of rational integers or the set of "real" numbers.

The former, there is no solution for the reasons Chemgoddess expalined; the latter, then the "correct" answer is that the solution to y=1/x approaches infinity as x approaches zero (and, by extrapolation, the solution to y=-1/x approaches negative infinity)

Again hazy recollections but I'm pretty sure that this is represented by an exponentially expanding graph....my paint skillz are lousy but I'll try to scribble on out and attach it... (ok done - the axes are X and Y, and the blue line is the answer to y=1/x)

So it is mathematically correct to say that at the point where x = 0 on this graph, that y would be infinity - but it's not arithmetically correct.

My brain hurts. This is probably why I only got 7% in "Foundations Of Mathematics" at university

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"Sorry dave, I did not realise that terry had already published."

Cut and paste the above into a new post, and we can call it quits.

dave

Ummm. . right okay. I posted that forever ago and obviously had no idea Terry had posted it somewhere else. I was only responding to a question asked and have found through experience with teaching that sometimes it's better to explain something so the average non-sciency/non-math person can understand it rather than give an exact precise treatise on the matter.

But sure, I'll apologize. Sorry, Dave. (He he he, you have no idea what I'm really sorry about.)

A few weeks ago I gave the proof that 0=1, using misplaced application of the associative law to an infinite series...I think Dave might be referring to the similar proof that 2=1 that relies on disguised algebraic division by zero, like this;

First we take a corollary that x and y are two numbers, neither of which are zero.

Then we state that x=y.

Multiply both sides by x, gives x^2=xy

Subtract y^2 from both sides, gives x^2-y^2=xy-y^2

We can then simplify this to (x-y)(x+y)=y(x-y)

Cancel the (x-y) from both sides to give you x+y=y

Given that at the beginning we stated that x=y, you can then clearly see that 2y=y

And simplifying for y proves unequivocally that 2=1



(if only they'd asked me crap like this on the exams... lol)

(the cheat is where you cancel out the (x-y) - since (x-y) = 0, and this process essentially therefore means "divide both sides by 0" which is illegal, all the rest of it is entirely spurious. Looks good, though )

__________________
Zürich Inneoin GAA Club
www.snopes.com - an essential resource for the everday gullible internet reader.

Now you are thinking like a man. Apologise first. Find out what-for , later.

dave

Ah, yes. I remember that. So it's not so much that Dave liked your treatise better it's just that he confused two different things.

Thats a far more feminine approach than the male habit of a global apology: Have the last word. Go-on, take it, youve earned it.

dave

Back to our hero Chuck Norris.
As you might have noticed, in the morning as the sun rises, it's not that the day is getting warmer. Chuck Norris is getting cooler. (With sunglasses.)

Here's some more:

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

For more Chuck Norris facts go to here.