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  #101  
Old 16.03.2011, 16:13
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Re: Bullying in School

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I am speechless to read that, mimi1981.
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Unbelivable.
It does seem that in some communities, there is an conspiracy to not deal with bullying. Probably the same mentality that reporting a serious crime to the police is "grassing someone up", and a far worse action.
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  #102  
Old 16.03.2011, 16:48
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Re: Bullying in School

This is an interesting thread. All I can speak of is my life. I moved around a lot as a child because my father was in the military. When I was about 13 years old, I lived in Chicago (USA) and a group of kids a year older than me starting bullying me. I was tall for my age (always), so as tall or taller than them, but I was quite thin. They would push me against walls, school lockers, knock my books out of my hands, say bad things about me before and after class, etc.

I'm am generally a very calm person until people really piss me off, but it takes a minute. I thought ignoring them would work. I didn't tell my father either. One day, the lead bully, who was on the basketball team, so taller than me, pushed me against a locker and knocked my books out of my hands. I believe he also called me some racial name. I had my social studies book with me, it was about 400 pgs or something like that. He went to talk to his cheerleader girlfriend. I walked over to him with my book and hit him directly in the head as hard as I could. His head hit the locker, and he hit the floor. I immediately started cursing and kicking him. I don't even remember this happening, as I was in a rage. His girlfriend ran screaming. His friends, just stood and watched in horror. Two teachers broke it up. The kid had blood coming out of his nose and was dazed, but not serious injured.

We were both suspended for 2 days due to this "fight". When I told my father, he did not punish me for fighting, but punished me for not telling him what was happening. He said I had a right to defend myself and I did not start the incident. He told me many years before "if a man puts his hands on you, you put him on the ground, never let another man disrespect you."

Anyway, the bully ended up with bruises on the side of his face. After school, one of his friends tried to retaliate on the bus. I didn't do anything. I let him push me, he even slapped me, threaten to beat me real good (one of his other friends was there as well) after we got off the bus. THis guy was physically bigger than me, and I was a bit afraid of him. Surprisingly, an adult walked by and broke things up before a fight started. The kid threatened me one more time and walked off.

I let him walk a block away. He lived further from the bus stop than I did. I ran home, got my bike, got the lock/chain on it. I caught up with him. He was on the sidewalk walking with a girl. I said nothing, got off my bike, and took the chain and ran up behind him and hit him in the head as hard as I could with it, it whipped around his neck, lucky it did not hit him in the eye or knock a tooth out (I was young, wasn't thinking). He immediately was on the ground, and I started beating him with the chain and kicking him until the girl begged me to stop.

I thought for certain I was going to go to jail. I went home and waited for the police to come. Nothing. The next day the kid did not come to school, but everyone was staring at me, they knew what happened. I was called to the principal's office. Our principal was a nun (this was a Catholic School) she said she heard what happened, and would not tolerate this violence. I told her I did not have anything to say to her, and wanted to speak with my father. She got very angry. I then told her, if those kids leave me alone, I will leave them alone, I did not want this conflict.

The next day we were all called in the office (after school, including our parents), my father was furious (not at me). There was a lot of yelling, then the kids were told to go outside, and then more yelling from the parents.

After this, I never had any problem with these kids again, in fact two of them would not even look at me in the hallway. The kids at school feared and respected me for standing up to and defeating 2 of 3 kids who were older than me and athletes. LOL i was known as a "tough guy", girls at the school wanted to talk to me. LOL

So my advice is the same as my fathers. Never let anyone put their hands on you. It is better to beat up then to allow people to disrespect you and do nothing.

When people can disrespect you and get away with it, they feel entitled to act this way, and they will continue to do so. Meanwhile, your self esteem will diminish. I would tell my son the same thing my father told me, if a man puts his hands on you, put him on the ground.


Most bullies are lazy and ignorant, they won't keep bullying someone who is too much trouble. They might do it in a group but you have to isolate them, then they are usually cowards.


IT also helps to escalate the violence, you want them to think you will not only fight back, but you are also crazy, so you are quite dangerous to them.
For example, above, I showed how I attached them alone, not as a group and inflicted serious violence on them, compared to what they were doing to me. I believe this scared the crap out of them.
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  #103  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:09
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Re: Bullying in School

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IT also helps to escalate the violence, you want them to think you will not only fight back, but you are also crazy, so you are quite dangerous to them.
It's like in prison, the first day you just beat the crap out of someone with a chair and nobody will ever try to make you their biatch.. ever...
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  #104  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:29
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Re: Bullying in School

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It's like in prison, the first day you just beat the crap out of someone with a chair and nobody will ever try to make you their biatch.. ever...
Are we still talking about how to behave in school? If that is the case, this message and a couple of messages before needs serious (re)thinking. I would be the first (as a teacher) to kick you totally without violence out of the school, dear beating the crap out of someone student. And I will gladly talk with your parents, the school bord , the police, witnesses and any psychologist of your choice in the director's office.
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  #105  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:31
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Re: Bullying in School

@Mimi1981 - For your story

You've got guts !!!!


Respect
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  #106  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:31
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Re: Bullying in School

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Are we still talking about how to behave in school? If that is the case, this message and a couple of messages before needs serious (re)thinking. I would be the first to kick you totally without violence out of the school, dear beating the crap out of someone student.
right...

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  #107  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:37
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Re: Bullying in School

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right...
I take that and bin the rest. (this is not sarcasm, it is another figure of speech, but I let you find out since you are such a first class rhethorician).
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  #108  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:39
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Re: Bullying in School

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I take that and bin the rest. (this is not sarcasm, it is another figure of speech, but I let you find out since you are such a first class rhethorician).
Spoken like a teacher (friendly fire)

As i asked before, who of EF used to be bullied or even was a bully, and what was the motive?

Back in my old school, teachers wouldn't come near the big bullies.. one got beaten up once by them.
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  #109  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:45
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Re: Bullying in School

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IT also helps to escalate the violence, you want them to think you will not only fight back, but you are also crazy, so you are quite dangerous to them. [/B] For example, above, I showed how I attached them alone, not as a group and inflicted serious violence on them, compared to what they were doing to me. I believe this scared the crap out of them.
I was impressed by some of your story, but the pre-meditated violence and hitting people from behind - I'm very uncomfortable with that.

But I've encountered a few people who when "the bully" attempted to intimidate them, went totally wild - extreme over-reaction - and they were never bothered again.
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  #110  
Old 16.03.2011, 17:45
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Re: Bullying in School

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I take that and bin the rest. (this is not sarcasm, it is another figure of speech, but I let you find out since you are such a first class rhethorician).


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As i asked before, who of EF used to be bullied or even was a bully, and what was the motive?

i got semi-bullied for being Fat and nerdy. But I remember a guy who got so fed up with a bully that during a baseball match he just went loco against the other dude.. with a bat.

Imagine office space and replace the printer... that was how it looked like.
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  #111  
Old 17.03.2011, 01:49
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Re: Bullying in School

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I was impressed by some of your story, but the pre-meditated violence and hitting people from behind - I'm very uncomfortable with that.

But I've encountered a few people who when "the bully" attempted to intimidate them, went totally wild - extreme over-reaction - and they were never bothered again.

This is simple. There is no such thing as a fair fight, there is no honor. No one cares about how you won after you won. That's a life lesson right there. Man, Machiavelli knew this in the early Enlightement...nothing new. It's just like a war. The Allies won WWII and the Germans and Japanese lost. They were (and are still to some extent) demonized for what they did, but we fire bombed innocent civilians, allowed rapes (massive rape of women in East Germany and in Western central Italy (by Soviets and French respectively), and it is rarely talked about, even in Germany and Japan. Why? We won, they did not. If Hitler won, people would have made peace with and respected the 3rd Reich, and I bet history would be written quite differently.

Same situation in everyday life. Winners are respected, losers are not. Weak people are often despised for being weak, allowing themselves to be debased, the strong are respected, even if they are a-holes (look at various wealthy men who are complete A-holes but admired for their success). Honor is for people afraid to elevate themselves beyond "their station". Like I said, at my school, I became quite poplar (after I jumped two bullies and beat one senseless, before that I was a new kid - nerd...etc). LOL Kids are not the only people who act like this.

People will side with the winner in the end, publicly, even if they talk about the winner behind his back.

Three people were coordinating against me. Me attacking three people who were bigger than me would have been asinine, as usually the teachers were not doing anything to help.

I solved the problem myself by isolating them and teaching them that whatever they do to me will be 3X worse done to them in return.

I think they got the point that I was the wrong person to f#*# with.

Hiting someone from behind, premeditated? LOL That is called war.

What type of moron stands on a field of battle knowing he will be slaughtered because it is the right thing to do. I will tell you..."a loser".

In the real world most people don't "play fair" that is some fairytale nonsense.

As I said, if you let someone degrade you, humiliate you, debase you that is what you deserve and it will keep happening. Those people will learn you are their play toy and as my Former Secretary of State, Donald Rumsfeld said "Weakness is provocative'. Him and I disagree on much, but that statement is quite true. Weak people get bullied. Bullies can smell weakness and feed off it.

I showed these people that I was mentally stronger and willing to cause damage before I would allow them to continue to humiliate me for no apparent reason. I think they and I learned some life lessons. I did not see them bullying anyone else at that school while I was there, and I never let anyone bully me again in my life.

The only thing I would change if I could change time, is to have done it sooner than later. In fact, as Ouchboy, like prison. Prison is simply a microcosm of society, with limited to no civility, but there are codes of conduct.

I once saw a guy on tv, a gangbanger who went to prison in one of the toughest jails in the U.S. at the age of 16 (charged as an adult). They talked about sexual assault. He started laughing. He said the people who get assaulted are known homosexuals and weak men. THey know you are weak when you come into prison. Someone will always test you, insult you to your face, and if you apologize or ignore it everyone in the prison will know you are a potential future crime/rape victim.

This man (at the time of interview was a 35 year old adult), said that the first day he was in jail someone came up to him and pushed him, pretty obviously. He didn't say anything, he just punched the guy right in the face and knocked him to the ground and started kicking him. This guy is not a big man by any means, short and skinny, but what he did was show everyone else that in order to victimize him they would pay a price. Like all bullies, most want to use the least effort possible. They know there are others who will not fight, so why fight some guy when you might get seriously hurt when you don't need to? He was never bothered in prison after this.

This is not really dissimilar to my story, it is just that the level of violence was less. The dynamic was not that different. It is unfortunate, but some people are uncivilized base savages and they only understand the threat of physical violence. The world has always been that way.
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  #112  
Old 17.03.2011, 11:21
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Re: Bullying in School

In today's news..

Remember the skinny kid hitting the big one, and the big one lifting him up and smack against the ground?




Both are suspended of school for 4 days now.

What the big kid did was not right..but is it fair to punish the victim?? Afteral it was self defence..
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  #113  
Old 17.03.2011, 11:30
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Re: Bullying in School

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In today's news..

Remember the skinny kid hitting the big one, and the big one lifting him up and smack against the ground?

Both are suspended of school for 4 days now.

What the big kid did was not right..but is it fair to punish the victim?? Afteral it was self defence..
I'd say the big kid's punishment was more symbolic than anything. The school had to show publically that they didn't condone the action. I doubt that they held it against him behind closed doors. In any case, he's coming back to school a hero and the skinny kid probably wants to crawl into a hole.
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  #114  
Old 17.03.2011, 11:41
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Re: Bullying in School

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I'd say the big kid's punishment was more symbolic than anything. The school had to show publically that they didn't condone the action. I doubt that they held it against him behind closed doors. In any case, he's coming back to school a hero and the skinny kid probably wants to crawl into a hole.
That or skinny kid teams up with friends and bash the living cr*p out of the bigger one..

No worries about that mind you, skinny's "friends " stood behind him, no one helped or defended the fella when big kid made him kiss the ground.

So far for friends having your back
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  #115  
Old 17.03.2011, 11:52
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Re: Bullying in School

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I'd say the big kid's punishment was more symbolic than anything. The school had to show publically that they didn't condone the action. I doubt that they held it against him behind closed doors. In any case, he's coming back to school a hero and the skinny kid probably wants to crawl into a hole.
Couldn't agree with you more Russkov



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That or skinny kid teams up with friends and bash the living cr*p out of the bigger one..
I Seriously doubt that will happen.
If there was a gang mentality, the other kids would have been bashing him right from the start.
This was clear humiliation...... and it ended in "Global" failure for the Bully.

The Big kid will return to school as a super star......... and his little "Tapeworm" nemesis will cower in shame throught eternity.

Bully's never pick a fight they will lose, and when they do - it destroys any and all ego that was ever built up.

That 'Body Slam' will earn that kid respect........ I mean, how many school yard fights are discussed on an "international" level?
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  #116  
Old 17.03.2011, 11:54
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Re: Bullying in School

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Couldn't agree with you more Russkov




I Seriously doubt that will happen.
If there was a gang mentality, the other kids would have been bashing him right from the start.
This was clear humiliation...... and it ended in "Global" failure for the Bully.

The Big kid will return to school as a super star......... and his little "Tapeworm" nemesis will cower in shame throught eternity.

Bully's never pick a fight they will lose, and when they do - it destroys any and all ego that was ever built up.

That 'Body Slam' will earn that kid respect........ I mean, how many school yard fights are discussed on an "international" level?
Don't get me wrong here, the big kid earned my respect too, big time!

I wish i'd done that back in the days..but times change..
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  #117  
Old 17.03.2011, 12:00
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Re: Bullying in School

Yes ... and yet, what if he had killed him or maimed him for life? Some will say, GOOD. Every study made on bullies has shown that kids turn to bullying because they are bullied themselves, by parents, older sibblings, other kids - because they are damaged and hurt. Having worked with bullies in my schools in the UK, working with them always turned out some dreadful stories in their lives. Understanding the mechanics of bullying does NOT in any way excuse their behaviour btw.
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  #118  
Old 17.03.2011, 12:05
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Re: Bullying in School

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Don't get me wrong here, the big kid earned my respect too, big time!

I wish i'd done that back in the days..but times change..
Nah, I didn't get you wrong mate ...... it's all good.


I just for the life of me can't understand the schools system to suspend a kid who did nothing but defend himself within an environment where the school had failed to protect him.

Granted that school's can't possibly protect everyone....... but punishing the kid with suspension for clearly defending himself is a bit harsh in my opinion.
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  #119  
Old 17.03.2011, 12:12
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Re: Bullying in School

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Nah, I didn't get you wrong mate ...... it's all good.


I just for the life of me can't understand the schools system to suspend a kid who did nothing but defend himself within an environment where the school had failed to protect him.

Granted that school's can't possibly protect everyone....... but punishing the kid with suspension for clearly defending himself is a bit harsh in my opinion.
Exactly.. then again as Odile says, skinny kid was slammed down with so much force, had he landed wrong,he would be no more.

Big kid has allot of angry power there..
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  #120  
Old 17.03.2011, 13:31
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Re: Bullying in School

He had Zangief power!

http://www.kotaku.com.au/2011/03/cas...fighter-remix/
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