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Old 21.03.2011, 13:21
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How to fit in

My neighbours hate me. This has been discussed elsewhere and so I wont bore you with the details.

I have been looking at some of the differences between them and us and I have come to the conclusion that I need to stick more shit on the outside of my door.

Every single flat has kitchy things outside which they seem to theme depending on the season. Last month they all attached balloons and streamers now it seems to be plastic wreaths of snowdrops.

Also there seems to be a need for me to purchase a three legged table with paper dollie on, atop which should sit a plant pot containing fake seasonal plant pot with plastic hearts and bees. Also a swiss painting seems to be the norm-some cows pulling a cart up a hill or some such gubbins

In addition, someone has taken a really bad photograph of some blackbirds sitting in a pile of primroses and selotaped it to a pink sheet of paper with hearts on it and stuck it to the entrance door.

So I need to do some of these things to be part of the gang. I need to know where to purchase dollies, plastic animals and cow paintings.

I did consider theming it welsh but this may anger them further

Ideas please?
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  #2  
Old 21.03.2011, 13:24
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Re: How to fit in

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My neighbours hate me. This has been discussed elsewhere and so I wont bore you with the details.

I have been looking at some of the differences between them and us and I have come to the conclusion that I need to stick more shit on the outside of my door.

Every single flat has kitchy things outside which they seem to theme depending on the season. Last month they all attached balloons and streamers now it seems to be plastic wreaths of snowdrops.

Also there seems to be a need for me to purchase a three legged table with paper dollie on, atop which should sit a plant pot containing fake seasonal plant pot with plastic hearts and bees. Also a swiss painting seems to be the norm-some cows pulling a cart up a hill or some such gubbins

In addition, someone has taken a really bad photograph of some blackbirds sitting in a pile of primroses and selotaped it to a pink sheet of paper with hearts on it and stuck it to the entrance door.

So I need to do some of these things to be part of the gang. I need to know where to purchase dollies, plastic animals and cow paintings.

I did consider theming it welsh but this may anger them further

Ideas please?
One of those really kitsch mini cow bells from the souvenir shop attached to the front door?
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  #3  
Old 21.03.2011, 13:27
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Re: How to fit in

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I did consider theming it welsh but this may anger them further

Ideas please?
I would stick with the Welsh theme just for the hell of it . But then apparently I'm not a nice person anyhow!

For a more 'in-keeping' theme, there is loads of Easter stuff out there at the moment. Lots of stuff with cute fluffy chicks and bunnies on . Camp it up and go as cutesy as you can possibly bear.
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:28
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Re: How to fit in



the essential fresian cow fridge
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  #5  
Old 21.03.2011, 13:31
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Re: How to fit in

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My neighbours hate me.
Have you considered moving? Where I live "decorating" outside the flat is explicitly (and thankfully) forbidden.

Last edited by Guest; 21.03.2011 at 13:51. Reason: Fixed quote formatting
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  #6  
Old 21.03.2011, 13:35
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Re: How to fit in

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My neighbours hate me. This has been discussed elsewhere and so I wont bore you with the details.

I have been looking at some of the differences between them and us and I have come to the conclusion that I need to stick more shit on the outside of my door.
Really? And when you were coming to this conclusion you obviously compared them to you by your doors? Interesting...

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Every single flat has kitchy things outside which they seem to theme depending on the season. Last month they all attached balloons and streamers now it seems to be plastic wreaths of snowdrops.
Fastnacht!

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Also there seems to be a need for me to purchase a three legged table with paper dollie on, atop which should sit a plant pot containing fake seasonal plant pot with plastic hearts and bees. Also a swiss painting seems to be the norm-some cows pulling a cart up a hill or some such gubbins

In addition, someone has taken a really bad photograph of some blackbirds sitting in a pile of primroses and selotaped it to a pink sheet of paper with hearts on it and stuck it to the entrance door.

So I need to do some of these things to be part of the gang. I need to know where to purchase dollies, plastic animals and cow paintings.

I did consider theming it welsh but this may anger them further

Ideas please?
Well, the idea that you feel that its you that has to do all these things not to be hated is pretty sick to me. Sounds like its you that has more pf a problem with them than them you.

Probably is a good idea though to go a bit kitsch & maybe a conversation might break out about your new door if you decide to do the same.
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:36
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Re: How to fit in

If you arent into such tacky rubbish, there really isnt a need to go out and buy multi coloured windmills and stick in on your plants. Yes, we should try to fit in but we can do it in many other ways. There really isnt a need to bend over backwards because in some twisted minds, you never will, no matter how hard you try.

Sorry, I wish I could offer you much more practical advice than a simple "move" - but sometimes its best to just do that for the sake of your sanity. I read your other thread about the cigg butts and I admire your tolerance. I would have gone and bang on every single door to suss out that cowardly culprit!
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:40
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Re: How to fit in

Hmm...don't your kids make enough craft for you to plaster on your door?
I would always prefer to have real art, even by kids, to some kitch. In fact, if the whole village is polluting their doorway with some horrific plastic kitch, I would go out of my way to cover the entire front door with some real stuff, made by my children. I bet they'd be proud, too.

By the way, we do have our front door covered by kid art, ever since she was born.

I am sure your villagers will like it..
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:40
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Re: How to fit in

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If you arent into such tacky rubbish, there really isnt a need to try and fit in because in some twisted minds, you never will, no matter how hard you try.

Sorry, I wish I could offer you much more practical advice than a simple "move" - but sometimes its best to just do that for the sake of your sanity. I read your other thread about the cigg butts and I admire your tolerance. I would have gone and bang on every single door to suss out that cowardly culprit!
That's if you believe it, I think (even here) it's not easy to have a lot of your neighbours hating you (as she puts it, even though it sounds like she doesn't even know them) so who knows what the truth is.
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:45
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Re: How to fit in

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That's if you believe it, I think (even here) it's not easy to have a lot of your neighbours hating you (as she puts it, even though it sounds like she doesn't even know them) so who knows what the truth is.
No, of course it aint easy. Even if they dont hate her and if it was her overactive imagination, putting cigg butts into someone's mailbox is petty, cowardly and spiteful. I have zero tolerance and patience for such acts.
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  #11  
Old 21.03.2011, 13:48
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Re: How to fit in

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One of those really kitsch mini cow bells from the souvenir shop attached to the front door?
But then i'd have to worry about whether to glue it by its feet, arse or horns. I could get it horribly wrong and it could be an 'inverted' cow like an inverted pentagram. Could get awkward.
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:50
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Re: How to fit in

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Hmm...don't your kids make enough craft for you to plaster on your door?
I would always prefer to have real art, even by kids, to some kitch. In fact, if the whole village is polluting their doorway with some horrific plastic kitch, I would go out of my way to cover the entire front door with some real stuff, made by my children. I bet they'd be proud, too.

By the way, we do have our front door covered by kid art, ever since she was born.

I am sure your villagers will like it..
Sadly toddler is really crap at art. I keep telling her this but she never seems to improve
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:53
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Re: How to fit in

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Sadly toddler is really crap at art. I keep telling her this but she never seems to improve
Ay, I wouldn't tell her... Just put it on your door, come on...

What about the older kid(s)?
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:55
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Re: How to fit in

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Sadly toddler is really crap at art. I keep telling her this but she never seems to improve
Oh dear. I wonder why.
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:56
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Re: How to fit in

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Ay, I wouldn't tell her... Just put it on your door, come on...

What about the older kid(s)?
No really, she's really really bad. She can't even draw a cow properly. Worse she cries every time I rip her 'art' up. She has to learn though
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Old 21.03.2011, 13:59
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Re: How to fit in

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No really, she's really really bad. She can't even draw a cow properly. Worse she cries every time I rip her 'art' up. She has to learn though
Sounds like its you who has to do the learning.
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Old 21.03.2011, 14:00
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Re: How to fit in

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Old 21.03.2011, 14:05
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Re: How to fit in

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Sadly toddler is really crap at art. I keep telling her this but she never seems to improve
Well, not everyone is artistic but everyone's good at something. Maybe she's got keen trading instincts. Can you get her to swap drawings with some of her little playmates? Then you hang those on the door, neighbors will never know the difference and you can be proud of your little art dealer.
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Old 21.03.2011, 14:05
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Re: How to fit in

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Troll? Well really....how very rude!
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Old 21.03.2011, 14:07
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Re: How to fit in

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Well, not everyone is artistic but everyone's good at something. Maybe she's got keen trading instincts. Can you get her to swap drawings with some of her little playmates? Then you hang those on the door, neighbors will never know the difference and you can be proud of your little art dealer.
Yes i'll have a word with her. Failing that I will have to paint something myself
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