I have such a biiiiig grin on my face, because I think some of the girls are pretty much and very simply kind of addicted to that game and a game it is, a bit of a silly game and yet so very exciting at the same time.

It gets even worse if nothing really big ever happens, you know people don't end up in a relationship together or don't even really become friends, because if you become friends well all that chasing & teasing excitement kind of goes away.

So its's all just a game of tease and chase and start it all over and over and over again and keep it going for like forever.

Does it have anything to do with that perhaps?

After a while, one or the other from or in that game might secretly fall in love, usually it's the girl, but then don't wants to admit that and a whole new sort of game starts from that and then it turns either into some big drama or it goes back into that old game of chasing and teasing all over again...

Something like that or it is about something totally different, what do I know!!!

If girls do play that game they should just never forget that it will not go anywhere ever.

Well in short...
It's the girls playing and the guys enjoy it all.

Almost 5 pages and I am surprised that no one's trotted the line "treat them mean, keep them keen".

Men or women both want what they cant have - cant say about men, but I know most women have this fantasy to "change the bad boy" and she is THE ONE who's made him settle down.

Cue the choir music please...

Give them this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-.../dp/068987474X

Now you tell me.

Yea sorry. We women have to stick together.

Sounds exhausting.

Perhaps if your friends stopped rewarding such a**holery by sleeping with these guys, there would be much less motivation for men as a whole to act like a**holes.

Your friends get the men they deserve.

i think women have a simple choice: date losers, or date assholes.

I was creased up to that!!

I'd shag a bit on the side at the moment, a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have dreamt of it but things change, we all do... ..maybe I won't think that way in a week. Life can be like that.

I guess it has something to do with them actually not feeling that terribly secure in themselves and not feeling they deserve better. If you think you are not worth that much, you will find it easier to hang around / after a guy that reinforces that belief about yourself. Someone who is your number one fan will just freak you out, partly because having someone tell you that you are wonderful is in conflict with your own self-image.

Furthermore, as has been said before, having these kind of "unreal" relationships is not very "costly" on an emotional level - deep down you know that it will never go anywhere so you can stay on the safe side. Getting involved with someone who really wants to make a go of things leaves you vulnerable and open to getting hurt by someone you truly trusted and loved.

Aaand then you may have a phase of thinking all men are sadly victims of hormonal drives and can't be trusted to watch water boil without burning the house down. But you won't get hurt or disappointed, that's guaranteed.

Wouldn't there also be a misinterpretation of behavior ?
A woman may find the silent, strong type rather dashing, when perhaps the man is simply indifferent ?

This may sound quite old-fashioned, but the best relationships I've seen is when the man picked the woman and not the other way around.

There seems to be some kind of chase on, and a man tends to value a woman he has selected and may have had a bit of difficulty in getting.

Perhaps I've skipped a generation, but I've been honestly surprised to see really beautiful, intelligent women actually do the chasing. Grandmas do have a point... we're liberated etc etc, but men are not, and the open approach can be, perhaps, daunting ?

Don't knock it eh... we were all raised on Disney and fairytales where the prince fights the dragon, and kisses/saves/marries the princess.

Then suddenly the princess swoops down in her white Porsche and saves his butt instead ?

just thinking....

__________________
.
"Il mondo è fatto a scale, chi le scende e chi le sale"

Well, yes. Something like that.

While we might have grown up on Cinderella tale, our kids are growing up on the abnoxious Dora the Exporler.

I am with you on this, though. Some traditional courting is desired, since all worthy women I know are way to busy chasing the guy. Plus, why make him sad and take that thrill of chase away, right?

The dynamics are changing, though. At least, that's what I would always try to get into the heads of my band mates...there aren't that many rules left.

i think women do a lot of the chasing now, but i think a lot of the wily ones manage to do this subtly and induce you to chase them.

Women marry men hoping to change them.

Men marry women hoping they'll never change.

And people wonder why so many marriages fail...

Spent half the day thinking about this thread, never finding the time to stand still enough to reply.

I think it goes both ways. Think of the "dweebs".. Do you usually give them the time of day? And if they do start paying you attention, do you "let them down lightly so as not to hurt their feelings" (which they might perceive as stringing them along).
But that is not this thread, though it is related.
I am guessing that men just start the "let them down lightly" process after sex (hey, its on offer- whats a man to do?)

It has to do with being honest - with yourself and with him.
If you ask him "do you like me" and he answers "yes, but not in that way". Take a deep breath, take time, and move on. If this is not what you are looking for. If you are happy in that situation, be honest with yourself, and this may just be "Mr Right-for-now". But know that things are probably not going to change.

It has to do with respect - for yourself and for him. If allow yourself to be a doormat (which many women do- some call it "being nice".. "but he needs my help, it makes me feel wanted"..) you will be used as a doormat. - hey, you are offering yourself as such.
He has learned to be the centre of his own universe. This is what makes anyone perform well in sports and career. Concentrating on themselves. Women work best in teams. (Yeah, yeah.. exceptions etc) The team being a partnership for some.

Lastly, be clear in what you want - to yourself. If you know what that is...
You could even make a list
Like looking for a house really.. which parts are you willing to compromise on? Because Mr Perfect only ever occurs in the movies.

__________________
11. Knowing deep down that you gave your dreams a fair chance. – Most of the time the only difference between a dream that came true and one that didn’t, is a person who wouldn’t give up and one who did.

It is and in a nice way too!! Inbetween great heaps of frustrations.
Anyway, the OP's post might be about something totally different so ...

Olàlà transition ... don't.
Come here, I give you a big hug.

Hmmm I hooked up with my husband based on his caring and romantic tendencies, and his focus on love and fidelity. It was also appealing that he didn't need sx every day. It's also quite nice that he's tall athletic and blond...

He's still that way... only now he wants to shag everyday .

Men. Can't live with them. Can't shoot them

I can't understand women who go for alpha @$$hol3 males. I prefer quiet, gentle and reliable. Another very good trick is to wait for the guy to take action - If a guy doesn't actively try to talk with you and get to know you. Don't bother.

Maybe the BBC is on to something as well...?



Puddy

__________________
I didn't lose my mind. It was mine to give away - Robbie Williams

Fortunately, this thread does not apply to me. I have other neurotic problems to be getting on with.