Please see amendments.

I think the original Hi-Fidelity list is the best: Five Greatest Breakups. And I'm not going first.

dave

1. Post it note
2. Fax
3. SMS
4. You and your mother
5. You breaking up with your right hand for your left.

I am not sure if these are admissions or something abstract that I don't understand. In fact I think reasons given by partners in your past for breakups will be more entertaining (real examples only please):

1. not going to continue a relationship with someone who jumps off bridges
2. I want to go out with a farmer
3. you think I am after your money
4. you don't like rave music
5. I can't stand your banjo

dave

The most interesting one was "I don't want to be in a relationship right now", it was interesting because I wasn't aware I was in a relationship with said lady.

Me "er yeah, ok, don't worry about it"
Her "I'm not worrying about it"

Random.

I see.

1. I am just not that into you
2. I am sleeping with my secretary
3. You're ugly
4. I'm married
5. I.. Um.... See ya.

1) I lost respect for you as a man when you didn't throw me out for being unfaithful.

6) you didn't punch that guy that was diss'ing me
7) you did punch that guy that was diss'ing me

dave

Odd. If somebody found you ugly I would expect them to notice pretty immediately, or at least the following morning.

1. Trust me, you’ll enjoy your first year at Uni much more if you’re single (he was right…)
2. I am too career-minded to want to be trapped in a relationship
3. You are too career-minded and will never settle down in a relationship
4. I am leaving the country soon to do missionary work for my church and therefore want to be with a lot of women before I go (WTF??)
5. You just love me too much

Barbra.

You are an emotional midget.

8) you're not the man I married*

dave

* Not meaning you have changed since we got married, more that you are a different person than the one she married

I never gave them a chance to sober up

been there...

Top 5 things I will miss about Zurich when we leave tomorrow:

1. Uetliberg. Hiking, biking, the view, the cowbells
2. Walking. It's such a lovely walkable city. 20 minutes to just about anywhere.
3. Cervelat and beer at the HB. Doesn't matter what time, I always stop by.
4. Church bells. I love the 7 am ringing, I love the seemingly random ringing on the weekends when all the churches appear to compete with each other.
5. This forum. More useful information and humor per week than any other source I know of. I need englishforum.fr.

Top 5 gadgets

• iPhone 3G
• Weatherman Tool
• Canon HF100 AVCHD camcorder
• Logik IR100 internet radio
• Xbox media centre with remote (a circa 2002 Xbox hacked to run the XBMC OS)

Top 5 accents.
5. That Pickles girl, where ever that is.
4. Cockney. I like it a bit naughty!
3. It's a broad brit moonlit nit t'nit.
2.... actually I can't split first and second place but I'd do anything a Scouser or Irish accent told me to do.