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  #41  
Old 12.04.2011, 09:55
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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Nothing really Excites me anymore.... is this a phase of growing up?
Kinda sucks that I seem to get emotions pretty much on cruise control nowadays.
I have a sort of restless spirit and need constant intellectual challenges. In the past, I tended to continuously set new goals - move to a different continent, learn a new language, start a new hobby, join a new club, etc. In short, find sources of motivation OUTSIDE.

These days, while I still glance at the future ahead, I am much more focused on here and now. When I feel that I lost all motivation, I disconnect from the world for a bit, retreat and look into myself - what I have done, where I am, what is the source of my dissatisfaction (if any). This "me-time" allows me to recharge my batteries and find motivation INSIDE by enjoying simple things that make me happy: a new recipe, a poetry book, a flower, a solitary sunset by the lake.
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  #42  
Old 12.04.2011, 10:10
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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What I also think is important to prevent falling too much into a 5day work, sleeping, waiting for the weekend routine/monotony, and do new stuff during the week after work or start working part-time and take one or two afternoons off to have time for yourself and do some hobbies.
I try to avoid this, but eventually it seems it all comes to this with few variations as to what is in the routine that day/week.

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Well, to find some daily excitments or little adventures for you...
are you more the sporty type or do you like creative things... what are things you haven't done before?
Sky diving, wilderness survival or a shooting range. That are things that need to be tried. Is there any wilderness schools around here? (in english?)

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Where'd you get the ding dongs??
.
I brought them back from Mexico.
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This is really the only option for our Ouchboy.... Unless he wants to change careers. I hear arms dealing and espionage are exciting options. Drug dealing is so last decade.
I'm willing to give espionage a try.




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I Are you just feeling neutral about things at the moment, or are you actually feeling depressed?
I'm in a "meh" state. I do something new and is: "it's alright" nothing you can get hooked on to. I was reading a lot for the last 3 months but then stopped as it lost the edge.


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Perhaps there is a little secret to learn here, you know, like feel contentment and quiet happiness without much fabulous wild external excitement going on all the time.
...
Well, I'm not sad, im just not as happy about anything as when I was 5. that's all. But i get your point.


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Thinking of sports, I think a long term commitment can do wonders with some sort of goal or achievement in sight.
I'm gunning for the black belt, but it's going to take like 20 years, so it's very long term.
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  #43  
Old 12.04.2011, 10:33
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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Sky diving, wilderness survival or a shooting range. That are things that need to be tried. Is there any wilderness schools around here? (in english?)
Maybe even though this is a UK site, there may be useful info and / or contacts?

EBO Adventure Training


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Book outdoor activities in Newquay, Cornwall, North Devon, Wales and Scotland.

EBO specialise in outdoor pursuits, extreme sports, military adventure training, team building and outdoor instructor training courses. Outdoor activities are available in Cornwall, Devon, Wales, and Scotland. Book group surfing lessons, coasteering sessions, scuba diving courses, kayaking, kitesurfing lessons as well as rock climbing, and much more. Also become an Outdoor Instructor by undertaking our outdoor instructor course.
Families, friends, corporate groups, military, schools, and universities welcome!
EBO are AALS registered.

International Adventure Training Instructor Courses

Become a diving instructor, skiing or snowboard instructor. Our diving instructor courses are located in Thailand, Egypt and Australia and our skiing and snowboard instructor courses are run in Switzerland.

It could be a good "vacation" to UK and maybe even become an instructor (eventually, but "soon'ish") and form up groups here. Then you don't have to look for such things AND you know they'll be available in English and Spanish.


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I brought them back from Mexico.
And you didn't get any for me?
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  #44  
Old 12.04.2011, 10:34
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Pick up some chronic and Crysis 2. "Bubbles" have nothing on it. Although when the game (and the chronic) are done, you'll be in the same place, but what a ride!
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  #45  
Old 12.04.2011, 10:39
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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And you didn't get any for me?
Thankx for the tip Peg.

There is like a 50's american style diner in a motorway in CH somewhere, I am pretty sure they have dingdongs. ( I saw them, next to the A-1 sauce)

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Pick up some chronic and Crysis 2. "Bubbles" have nothing on it. Although when the game (and the chronic) are done, you'll be in the same place, but what a ride!
I don't do the devil's grass. I only do caffeine, adrenaline and awesome. :P

but I haven't played Crysis 2.
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  #46  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:15
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Happiness and careless glee is so relative, it's a mindset, does not have to be in childhood, either.

Ok...Go shoot. Once a week, it's fun, I love it. Find a buddy to do it with. You sound like a loner, which is fine and dandy ( I am too) but can get you down when you can't share stuff. You can easily be in a relationship and still unable to share. So, find somebody to share your fun/thoughts with. Dinner club, or chess club, I want to meet old people and play chess and petanque with them, since I have done it elsewhere, their wisdom and gratitude is lovely. Coz...we don't know what we have, do we. Then we get all introspective and feel empty. Instead of realizing, we are lucky. You just gota find some way to channel it and drop the excessive doubts.

We are still looking for suitably nuts guitarist, so if you have a band nearby, friends play, or want to experiment, muzzak would be a cool way. It's addictive and energizing. Moves you away from yourself, you give yourself a break (for not being naieve and slap happy as a 5yr old....who is?) and actually do something hands on creative without over-analysing.

Then, I think it was that time we learned in school (I know friends who went through it), late 20s and early 30s, some people go through a major existentialist crisis. The goals of early 20s are either achieved, school and university finished, career geared or one starts to question. I would embrace this feeling, it's those moments that actually matter in life and direct us more to what is important for you. Take is as a sign. If you aren't happy, might be your career, or the fact you aren't giving yourself enough credit for what you achieved, or would like to share this with somebody, be a hero for somebody, apart from yourself..If you are satisfied with your career, mingle and not make any decisions, judgments about yourself, do after a few months of mingling.

Maybe you need to find new, inspiring friends.
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  #47  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:17
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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I don't do the devil's grass. I only do caffeine, adrenaline and awesome. :P

but I haven't played Crysis 2.

Fair enough, perhaps you can use the coffee: I'm an hour into Crysis2 it and it's supplying the adrenaline AND the awesome!
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  #48  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:21
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Re: general question about life and growing up

I am happier now than I was when i was a child...then again I did not have a particularly easy childhood...but lame excuses aside...find someone to love and who loves you who accepts you the way you are and with whom you are comfortable, marry said person and have kids
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  #49  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:33
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Find a puddle. Jump in it. Curse for not wearing wellies. Realise that a large part of childhood bliss was the ignorance and the fact that your parents mostly made sure stuff worked out fine, like putting wellies on you on a rainy day.

I have the not feeling thing too, most of the time. It's a protective thing...
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  #50  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:35
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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I am happier now than I was when i was a child...then again I did not have a particularly easy childhood...but lame excuses aside...find someone to love and who loves you who accepts you the way you are and with whom you are comfortable, marry said person and have kids
Yeah. On the other hand, why rush into stuff like that...to beat the empty feeling. I kinda thing it works way better to get rid of that empty feeling, then do all that. You'd have a lot more to offer then.

I think spontaneity, embracing one's instincts and gut feeling can be done later in life, not only in childhood. I think it is one's rationality that kills the fun. Anxieties, constantly thinking of what appropriate, having fear of embarrassment, all this bull. Just start living connected more to your instincts, forgetting ego/being sensible, etc. I don't mean being like those middle life crisis weirdos who all of a sudden start letting their hair down and think the world has changed..

Just enjoy simple stuff, hang around people who aren't too restricted and who are confident and fun. Chuck the stiff one's. Get friends together, go camping, hiking, laugh, see some gigs, poetry reading, funky films..
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  #51  
Old 12.04.2011, 11:43
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Re: general question about life and growing up

getting married?' woooah.. hold yer horses... I'm a 27 year old boy I can't get married, or rather I shouldn't yet. Same for having kids; it would be a disaster - Titanic Style-.

Isn't the goldeneye bungee opening soon ?
It's time to beat my 134 mts record.

@Musicchick, I am sort of a loner. It's just very few moments when I want to be with people (other than the EF).



I do boardgames on sunday with some friends, and meet some other people during the week. Problem is that my friend groupe here are in the 30+ range and all are either married, having kids or some combination, so im still somewhat isolated.

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Fair enough, perhaps you can use the coffee: I'm an hour into Crysis2 it and it's supplying the adrenaline AND the awesome!
Cofee works with Dead Space at 2 am
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Last edited by Ouchboy; 12.04.2011 at 11:55.
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  #52  
Old 12.04.2011, 12:17
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Re: general question about life and growing up

I keep looking back at that website I linked for you, this looks like awesome fun!

(Video is apparently a Royal Marines advertisement but still, the company EBO is who is taking them through this "Coasteering")



Something I'd love to do myself actually, although I have to get my newly rediscovered asthma under control (it's been almost 10 yrs since it's been a problem) again before messing about with "coasteering".
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  #53  
Old 12.04.2011, 12:29
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Well..there are pluses and minuses of being a loner. It's better on your psyche if you are a hectic, overscheduled kind of loner. There are people who are loners so people do not distract them from their goals, I tend to be that way when I have to focus, not not give in people pushing me to inspire them constantly, do the work for them, hahaha, it's healthy to keep a distance. But then, if you are in this mode for too long, you get bored and isolated, too, despite all the achievements you got. People are creatures that need appreciation, we were all wired to not give ourself any, we expect it from others. So, find some buddies, do activities together and I don't necessarily mean adrenalin or dating kinda thing, gaming, or drawn out forum debates, uhm.....yeah. Life is somewhere else. But it sounds like a fine idea to organize a loner event.
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  #54  
Old 12.04.2011, 12:30
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Re: general question about life and growing up

I don't know if it's been suggested already in the thread, but I'd recommend you seek out misery. Get into a foolish relationship (I can give you a couple of phone numbers to get you started); go hiking on the Iraq/Iran border; spray some graffiti on the side of a bus in Singapore; take up crack.

Then, when it's all over, you'll be able to appreciate the small pleasures of life much more.

You can only really be happy if you've been unhappy enough to have something to compare it to.
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  #55  
Old 12.04.2011, 12:36
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Come over to my house after a couple of days I could cure you Peter Pan. I would yell at you, have you do chores (no pocket money, you would be helping MotherILF), make you go back in your room because "you can't go out dressed like that" and you'ld have a curfew. This is the short list. Ohh, and I would take away the Dingdongs- 'cause they are bad for you.
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Old 12.04.2011, 12:39
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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Yeah. On the other hand, why rush into stuff like that...to beat the empty feeling. I kinda thing it works way better to get rid of that empty feeling, then do all that. You'd have a lot more to offer then.

I think spontaneity, embracing one's instincts and gut feeling can be done later in life, not only in childhood. I think it is one's rationality that kills the fun. Anxieties, constantly thinking of what appropriate, having fear of embarrassment, all this bull. Just start living connected more to your instincts, forgetting ego/being sensible, etc. I don't mean being like those middle life crisis weirdos who all of a sudden start letting their hair down and think the world has changed..

Just enjoy simple stuff, hang around people who aren't too restricted and who are confident and fun. Chuck the stiff one's. Get friends together, go camping, hiking, laugh, see some gigs, poetry reading, funky films..
OH MC I did not find my true love until I was happy with myself the way I was and so did not have to put up with idiots that wanted me to change in any way. I married at 35, I do not call that rushing-in
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  #57  
Old 12.04.2011, 12:45
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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OH MC I did not find my true love until I was happy with myself the way I was and so did not have to put up with idiots that wanted me to change in any way. I married at 35, I do not call that rushing-in
I wasn't talking about you, personally, no no...Good for you, by the way.

I like J.L.P's idea, though. I could treat some existential crisis by offering a room to clean, too. I also heard ironing does wonders with that condition, all housework in general.
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  #58  
Old 12.04.2011, 15:02
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Re: general question about life and growing up

I dislike J.L-P's ideas.

So much that I feel the need to almost bad rep that.
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  #59  
Old 12.04.2011, 15:19
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Re: general question about life and growing up

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I dislike J.L-P's ideas. So much that I feel the need to almost bad rep that.
You do that and your GREAT invitation fountain will dry up.
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  #60  
Old 12.04.2011, 15:20
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Re: general question about life and growing up

Have you considered volunteering? Helping other people should give you feelings of some sort.
(My five-year old son loves helping out, maybe you were like that too!)
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