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Old 28.04.2011, 14:53
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What makes a successful kid?

What do you think makes a successful kid? I've read so many threads talking about parents being worried about their kids no having friends, or not being invited home, or kids that spend their free time in school alone or isolated... As a mom of a little boy i am wondering how will it be when he goes to school. I was a teacher for 12 years in a private school in my country and one of the most heartbreaking things for me was to see kids alone during break time, they were eating alone, or playing, or simply there looking around. I always used to ask why are you alone? where are your friends? some just chose to be alone and were or looked quite happy, but you can see others as well, i remember a kid that told me, " i don't know where my friends are, they said we were playing seek and hide, but they never looked for me! they always say oh you hide so well that we can never find you!!!" that was so cruel! and i do know how mean kids can be, i always tried to make little groups of kids and put them together so they can play for a while. No, i know you can't solve their problems, but it is also easy to sit or stand and watch them and simply ignore what you see, i was not that kind of teacher. I used to observe and when i thought i was able to do something then i just jumped there and try to help, it is never bad to bring a smile to a kid.
And there are the popular ones, who are always surrounded by friends and the ones that give rules and chose ok you come to play with us or you stay... popular kids do not always need to be bad, some were really nice but mostly the nice sweet ones are left behind. I guess it is also about the personality your kid has, when they are quite confident they do not seem that much affected by mean things little kids do or say. However, i know how important it is for a kid to feel and be happy at school.
So to all you parents or teachers that are or have gone through this stage, what can you say about it? What makes a successful kid? How do you work on that?
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:06
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

Do you mean happy?
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:12
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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Do you mean happy?
I am mainly talking about school, and yes, happy is the right word, let's say happy and successful!
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:14
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

I hate goats
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:23
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

paragraphs.
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:49
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

someone has stole all your full stops......they should be arrested and given a lenghty sentance
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:51
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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paragraphs.
Or just making the post a little shorter. I'm interested in the title, but have neither the time nor inclination to read all that....can't we just answer the title? I say regular beatings.
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:56
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

I turned out ok and all my childhood i was surrounded by cream, eggs, sugar and flour..

Yep life was tough growing up in the gateaux.
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Old 28.04.2011, 15:59
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

Hi sunflower, it looks like a lot of people on here have been popping 'funny' pills today!

Of course, children have as diverse personalities and traits as adults, some being naturally outgoing and enquiring, whilst others are more timid, shy or reserved. Some are born leaders whilst others are happy to follow.

However, I think that the best thing that parents can do for their children is to ensure that they know that they are loved, valued, respected and heard. It is also necessary to make sure that boundaries are in place and that the child is aware that these should be respected. Discipline is important too as it can also enhance a child's sense of self-worth; this can be imposed by positive reinforcement.

I believe that when a child has a healthy sense of self- worth they are better equipped to interact in a positive way with their peers, and are indeed more able to cope with the inevitable challenges that they will encounter.
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:00
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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I say regular beatings.
Did that work for you? Or are you talking about your preference nowadays??
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:05
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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Did that work for you? Or are you talking about your preference nowadays??
No, but seriously, I was never beaten (I wasn't an egg in the gateaux) and don't believe in abject violence. I do believe in the notion of competition and "winning" but the whole subject has to do with one's personal definition of "success". Mine isn't necessarily being happy.
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:10
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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What do you think makes a successful kid?
The kid itself. Other questions?
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:11
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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I do believe in the notion of competition and "winning" but the whole subject has to do with one's personal definition of "success". Mine isn't necessarily being happy.
Interesting concept. So, on that assumption, would you rather be successful or happy?
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:11
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

A successful kid is one who understands that making honest mistakes is a positive thing, isn’t afraid to try something for a first time and knows that whatever happens, his mum and dad love him to bits.
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Old 28.04.2011, 16:14
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

I read the entire one paragraph because im bored. I think you very well know the answer and stated it. Confidence.

My daughter has no problem in kindergarten here but she tells me of a classmate whom she said everyone is whispering about. My daughter told me that the boys and the girls in her class are talking about this one girl because she is always loud and demanding. Seems like they all made an agreement to treat her as if she´s their younger sister.

In my almost 3 months here, ive observed that children here are extra nice. One girl opened a door for me, im not even pregnant or burdened by bags or anything. 2 kindergarten girls interviewed me and my daughter one day walking away from school. Once a lil boy came up to tell me my lil girl was crying coz she hurt her knee when she seemed to take so long to come out of school.
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Old 29.04.2011, 13:17
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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Interesting concept. So, on that assumption, would you rather be successful or happy?
Successful and miserable please. Although a strange one - I am not the sort of person who can ever be calm and content with the world, so if I wanted this it would be more of a "wish" than a realistic aspiration. It's a bit like wanting a different personality, if you had it, you'd be a different person altogether.
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Old 29.04.2011, 14:28
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

Its complicated. Some kids work better with beating, other with encouragement and praise.

Some get spoilt by over indulgence others cant get the sense of depravation and fear out of their minds even if they make it big in life.

But the jist of it would be a successful kid is the one who has a will to grow and hope to live a good life and wears a big smile when he/she wakes up.
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Old 29.04.2011, 14:36
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

I think having parents who are the chief confident, postive role models in the child's life will always produce a very successful child. That being said, a majority of parents don't fall in that catagory and 1. shouldn't be having children, or 2. need to rely on a parenting technique combinations somewhere between positive reinforcement (good cop), and negative consequential action (bad cop).
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Old 29.04.2011, 14:45
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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I think having parents who are the chief confident, postive role models in the child's life will always produce a very successful child. That being said, a majority of parents don't fall in that catagory and 1. shouldn't be having children, or 2. need to rely on a parenting technique combinations somewhere between positive reinforcement (good cop), and negative consequential action (bad cop).
Most parents I know, including myself and my own parents, muddle through in the best way they can.

Doing your best with your child, even if it means making genuine mistakes along the way, is all you can do.

I think the thread is a bit misleading anyway; what does "a successful kid" look like? One person's success is another person's failure. Someone might be highly successful in the realm of making money but be a total misery guts with no friends while another child might grow up to be a social butterfly with friends and love but not have a pot to piss in.

You can then only judge success from a subjective point of view.
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Old 29.04.2011, 14:54
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Re: What makes a successful kid?

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Most parents I know, including myself and my own parents, muddle through in the best way they can.

Doing your best with your child, even if it means making genuine mistakes along the way, is all you can do.

I think the thread is a bit misleading anyway; what does "a successful kid" look like? One person's success is another person's failure. Someone might be highly successful in the realm of making money but be a total misery guts with no friends while another child might grow up to be a social butterfly with friends and love but not have a pot to piss in.

You can then only judge success from a subjective point of view.

Success is definitely subjective. The key is to disillusion yourself to the point where your present life (or your kid's) IS successful ignoring all the dreams and ideas of the past and others. Absolute bliss
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