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  #1  
Old 07.05.2011, 13:55
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Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

I was born in UK but was sent to Pakistan for 2 years by my father to do culture learning as he put it. I could not stand it there and ran back to my English mum as fast as I could. This was 16 years ago.

What am I complaining about? When there I was in a class of 60 students. I did not form any deep friendships as such. Some I got friendly with but once I left that was end of the superficial friendship as far as I was concerned. Now I moved from UK to Switzerland last year and thanks to Facebook all kinds of people are mailing me and saying that they are coming to Switzerland on holiday.

These are people I have had no contact with nor do I have any desire to have contact with. They seem to think I am their local guide and hotel rolled into one. Mentioning "have you booked a hotel" normally puts an end to their grand plans. Last year I had displeasure of meeting three such characters within a space of 5 months. Each time I footed the bill for their dinner and had to listen to their bull. It was also embarrassing walking with them as they spat on the street repeatedly and were dressed funny. Even my dad does not dress like them when in Pakistan.

I have reached my limit. Some people seem to think that if they vaguely know someone in another country then they have some sort of constitutional right to milk them. Any good techniques to deal with such people?
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  #2  
Old 07.05.2011, 14:12
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

Tell them the truth ?
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  #3  
Old 07.05.2011, 14:21
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

Use the "un-friend" button on Facebook? People usually get the message then.
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Old 07.05.2011, 15:04
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

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Use the "un-friend" button on Facebook? People usually get the message then.
It really is that simple.

I wouldn't friend anyone on Facebook who isn't a real friend. I have exactly 9 friends there, and every one would be welcome to stay with me whenever (also have a fake name in my profile which makes it hard for sticky non-friends to track me down). Never understood how someone can have hundreds of friends. Just kick everyone off your account you wouldn't be pleased to put on your couch and treat to dinner, and don't add anyone who doesn't fit that profile. Too simple.
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Old 07.05.2011, 15:22
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

One of the reasons why I steer clear of Facebook and the like. And it saves a lot of time too.
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  #6  
Old 07.05.2011, 15:26
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

you can block people on facebook.... really useful
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Old 07.05.2011, 15:36
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

You could grow a pair and tell them to stop wasting your time.
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Old 07.05.2011, 15:41
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

1. You could always give them the wrong address in the wrong city so that when they arrived you would be nowhere to be seen.

2. You could also change your facebook location to somewhere undesirable, Basra or Kabul for instance, then you would never have any unwanted visitors.

3. If they do arrive (I recently had a post about unwanted visitors) then you could play endless Swiss music (an excellent suggestion from another forum user) in the house this would ensure that they would not stay for long, you could also cook the most disgusting food and develop dreadful habits whilst they are staying with you then word would also get around that it wasn't worth the trip.
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Old 07.05.2011, 16:05
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

I suppose it makes interesting reading for bored members on a Saturday afternoon, but the idea of this Forum is not that new members wander in with their problems which have, basically, nothing to do with living here at all.

You know the answer to your problem. Stop sounding so 'inviting', take the advice of the other posters and this will stop.
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Old 07.05.2011, 16:10
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

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I suppose it makes interesting reading for bored members on a Saturday afternoon, but the idea of this Forum is not that new members wander in with their problems which have, basically, nothing to do with living here at all.

You know the answer to your problem. Stop sounding so 'inviting', take the advice of the other posters and this will stop.
I am slowly getting some of your wisedom (no shit!)

New member, first post, mention of Pakistan, FB and a topic already talked on the forum (research tools?)

Sounds fishy to me... And I am not cooking fish!
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Old 07.05.2011, 16:15
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

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Mentioning "have you booked a hotel" normally puts an end to their grand plans.
You seem to have the answer to your problem already. Or a simple, polite "I am sorry I will not be able to offer to host you at all, but feel free to write again if you have questions about your holiday in Swizerland" should also tactfully dal with the problem.
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Old 07.05.2011, 16:16
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

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I was born in UK but was sent to Pakistan for 2 years by my father to do culture learning as he put it. I could not stand it there and ran back to my English mum as fast as I could. This was 16 years ago.

What am I complaining about? When there I was in a class of 60 students. I did not form any deep friendships as such. Some I got friendly with but once I left that was end of the superficial friendship as far as I was concerned. Now I moved from UK to Switzerland last year and thanks to Facebook all kinds of people are mailing me and saying that they are coming to Switzerland on holiday.

These are people I have had no contact with nor do I have any desire to have contact with. They seem to think I am their local guide and hotel rolled into one. Mentioning "have you booked a hotel" normally puts an end to their grand plans. Last year I had displeasure of meeting three such characters within a space of 5 months. Each time I footed the bill for their dinner and had to listen to their bull. It was also embarrassing walking with them as they spat on the street repeatedly and were dressed funny. Even my dad does not dress like them when in Pakistan.

I have reached my limit. Some people seem to think that if they vaguely know someone in another country then they have some sort of constitutional right to milk them. Any good techniques to deal with such people?
Am wonder who told your friend "Yae come and visit me , my address is ,my tel# is etc etcBTW <How do they like switzerland
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Old 07.05.2011, 16:21
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

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It really is that simple.

Just kick everyone off your account you wouldn't be pleased to put on your couch and treat to dinner, and don't add anyone who doesn't fit that profile. Too simple.
I would be happy tohave anyone of the 100+ facebook "friends "to stay on my couch and then treat them to dinner - but just not all at once. In fact, I have more people to stay (through the Couchsurfing website) than I would count as potential facebook buddies.

In reality, a couple of the most difficult times I have had hosting, have been with longtime friends who have higher expectations of my time and energy, than casual guests.
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Old 07.05.2011, 17:07
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Re: Creepy crawly alleged friends appearing from no where!

Stop using Facebook all together, works well for me.


True friends don't need Facebook.
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