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  #1  
Old 20.06.2011, 11:39
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Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

My is having one. Last week he said he will QUIT his job...take out a loan to study for a masters (in a course which will not provide him a better job -maybe set him back due to lack of experience of knowledge of the sector since he didnt really research what it would be like to do a job in Sustainable Business coming from an IT background).

This means being poor...living as a student in a different country alone for a year. Coming back to his home country with no money...no job...and a huge loan to pay back.

I tell him it is a risk that he will have to suffer the conseqences for for years! He will not listen. He feels if he doesnt do something NOW he will lose his chance in life.

I mean...that last statement I cant imagine him really believing...but he does which shows his desperation and anxiousness for change.

Any advice?
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:41
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

Personally I think, 32 is fine and young to take on something new. The generation before might disagree, some even think by 21 you need to be settled and contributing to society.

But I think it's fine and fun to take on this risk and enjoy some of the other options life might have to offer
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:43
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

I assume you mean other half?

Nice to see your so supportive of him.

IT work is mind numbingly boring, good on him for having the balls to walk away, if I could find something else that paid as well I'd have walked away by now
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:44
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

Take him seriously, discuss together the impact (financial, relationship, etc.) his decision will have on your lives, give him some time to think about it and hope, in the meantime, he will change his mind. As long as he has not quit his job, it's all still an idea and not reality.

If he decides to go through with it, then you'll need to reassess your own situation and decide what's best for you.

Good luck.
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:47
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer...

What were your marriage vows ?
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:48
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

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My is having one. Last week he said he will QUIT his job...take out a loan to study for a masters (in a course which will not provide him a better job -maybe set him back due to lack of experience of knowledge of the sector since he didnt really research what it would be like to do a job in Sustainable Business coming from an IT background).

This means being poor...living as a student in a different country alone for a year. Coming back to his home country with no money...no job...and a huge loan to pay back.

I tell him it is a risk that he will have to suffer the conseqences for for years! He will not listen. He feels if he doesnt do something NOW he will lose his chance in life.

I mean...that last statement I cant imagine him really believing...but he does which shows his desperation and anxiousness for change.

Any advice?
Actually, this is called a quarter-life crisis and as I understand it, it's a pretty common condition nowadays.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:57
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

There is no such thing as a mid-life crisis. Just life.

My sister and b-i-l both saved for a few years then relocated to Rotterdam to do an MBA for two years. He survived and is now working at a seniorish level at one of the biggest private companies that would easily be top 10 in the Fortune 500.

They decided that was best for their family and worked through it, but planning and saving for it.

You (both) need to decide what's important for you and work to that goal.

Last edited by Carlos R; 20.06.2011 at 13:01.
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:59
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

How about working for a company that offers MBA's

for example my old company owned several schools. employers got a Very good discount on the MBA..... just a taught
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Old 20.06.2011, 12:01
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

That's my age and I feel pretty similar about my "career" in IT. I can fully relate to his thoughts that "if I want to change the industry I need to do it now and not in a decade". I think he is right about that.

The question is much more if his approach is the right one. I would actually stop working for a year to get an education that gets me the job I know I want to do. My problem is that I have not found that job yet...
Not sure what sustainable business you are talking about, but green technology pays actually decent salaries. I can understand your fear of taking a loan, I would be very conservative there as well. Are there other education options, for example part time studies or distance courses?

Question: Do you work and have an income? We are DINKs and I offered the wife to support her with some ideas she had and vice versa... we can live on one salary. If you don't work, I can of course understand that you are scared of the finacial loss...
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Old 20.06.2011, 12:01
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

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For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer... as long as its convenient to me
Fixed that for you


Always wanted to say that!
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  #11  
Old 20.06.2011, 12:15
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job



Perhaps you could invite one of his friends to remind him that he's not a single man any more and has a bit more than his own "happiness" to consider before he makes any rash decisions.
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Old 20.06.2011, 12:25
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

Do you have kids? Do you have a job? Why do you suddenly become poor if he quits his job?
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:15
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

you can tell him he's already too late and has lost his chance in life. he might as well resign himself to the life of a code monkey until he pops his clogs.
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:25
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

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you can tell him he's already too late and has lost his chance in life. he might as well resign himself to the life of a code monkey until he pops his clogs.
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:31
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

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I tell him it is a risk that he will have to suffer the conseqences for for years!
Which may be better than suffering life in a career he doesn't like any more.
Most people change careers 2 or 3 ( or is that 3 or 4 ? ) times in a lifetime, and at 32 it's a good time to go, if that's what he wants.

I'm with BigBlue on this, IT is crap, but pays the money. It's a compromise I'm happy to accept having had a previous career in the building game.
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:43
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

Being poor does not mean being unhappy. 5 years ago I was earning good money in London but realised what I was doing was not "important", I gave it all up to live knee deep in horse poop and start a new career and business from scratch.

I earn a fraction of what I did back then, work twice as many hours and just manage to scrape by each month but I am 10 times happier. If I hadn't done what I did I would have spent the rest of my life thinking "what if".

Good on your other half for having the balls to do this now while he is still young enough to build a "happy" life. We're only here once you know.
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:48
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

well he has a BA in Computer Design. he somehow found a programme in Sustainable Business for one year in the UK.

BUT he will not be able to work back home in a german speaking country! you guys know how much of specialists they are and they will see he has done 32 years IT and then 1 year- all of a sudden a masters with NO experience.

he would be making less...and then he would be stressed with repayments for a loan to cover his monthly expenses in the UK! I am thinking at least GBP 12,000. he does not earn what the Swiss earn...and on a salary of maybe €1500 month NET....30% would go towards paying loans.

mind you...he loves travelling and not having money for holidays makes him depressed. he also loves gadgets...and he would not have money.

i would have to DEAL with the ramifications of his decision for years to come....ME!!!!

i am totally all for a change...but "strategic" and not something that will bite you in the butt after doing it.

i believe in risks....but KNOWN outcomes which are not positive....what does one hope to gain.

is it the ATTENTION of being impulsive.....

and i hate that none of his friends are brave enough to tell their TRUE FEELINGS to him...just "oh yea.....what are you doing..."...but no advice. not that you go with what your friends say but I believe in getting input!!

uff...ufff....

we have no kids...and I EARN MORE than he does....
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:52
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

You are letting fears get in the way...

Surely your combined incomes could support this venture?
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:56
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

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BUT he will not be able to work back home in a german speaking country! you guys know how much of specialists they are and they will see he has done 32 years IT and then 1 year- all of a sudden a masters with NO experience.
He hasn't worked 32 yrs in IT. Maybe ten. Many people change their careers and a basis in IT is good even in other areas. But: Do you just want us to tell you that you are right or do you want to discuss the topic?

- What makes you think that people with ten years of IT experience and a fresh master in business cannot find a job? That's pretty exactly what most people who do an MBA did, me included. Thousands each year and sharly rising... What program is it that you think so low about it?

- What makes you think that this makes it impossible to employ him here? I know people with masters in things like psychology or art who still found a job... IT plus business sounds pretty much perfect for the Swiss job market to me.

Honestly, I thought you were talking about more money. Paying back a loan of 12.000 GBP does not sound like a huge deal to me.
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Old 20.06.2011, 13:57
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Re: Mid Life Crisis at 32- Quits Job

Much better to try something different now than to spend the rest of his life wondering 'what if?' If it doesn't work out, he should still be able to go back to his IT career at a later date.
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