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  #21  
Old 08.07.2011, 08:48
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Ka Pai,

HUGE Thank you! Great informations, tips and experiences! Hubby never been on a business trip since we are married (maybe one night here or there away, but not more).

It will be my first time alone with two kids so I am a bit nervous and not sure how to handle the whole thing.

I have been knocked out the whole week with high fever and It makes me think how on earth I would take care of the 2 when I can't even stand on my two feet.

Hopefully, I will be completely back to normal when he will go but it is good to be organised before something happen. My daughter goes every morning to a daycare, she will now go full day, everyday. (Also to prepare her for the pre-school she will attend in September, they go full day)

Having a cold, infections, pain, I can handle (I am a woman ) but the fever? I am already most of the time on my own since hubby works really late but still, at least he comes back home at night.

I am getting ready before the shit hits Adrian's fan.
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  #22  
Old 08.07.2011, 08:53
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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I am getting ready before the shit hits Adrian's fan.
Poor Adrian. Leave his (ceiling) fan alone.
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  #23  
Old 08.07.2011, 09:52
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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I am getting ready before the shit hits Adrian's fan.
You should understand the effort needed to angle it and get it up there.
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  #24  
Old 08.07.2011, 12:30
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Nil, you cope because you have no choice. The first time my husband went away when my oldest was a toddler I came down with a 40 degree fever. I slept when he did & just got on with things. I must say though that cbeebies & Disney DVD's were a God send keeping him happy when I was not up to playing any more.
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  #25  
Old 08.07.2011, 12:36
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

If anyone's in any doubt as to how the genders differ in communicating, see below

Nil: you'll be fine. Chill and enjoy the challenge.

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As a (male) single parent, I'd say that you just HTFU and get on with it.
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Oh Nil I so understand where you are coming from. Are you sure you talking about you and not me??

I have got use to my husband travelling for work since the day we met and we have NEVER lived near family. I actually find it easier now with kids than before we were married!

My youngest was 2 weeks old and I had 3 others under 5 when hubby went away for 3 weeks, home for 2 weeks away then away for another 2 weeks. I look back now and think how the be jesus did I cope with a newborn and 3 others. I answer is you just do. Each day is just like a normal day BUT with a bit of extra work i.e. the things hubby does to help around the house and with the kids.
One thing I have always had though is daycare for the older children. Within 3 weeks of arriving in Switzerland we found a Krippe for the children to attend 2 full days a week. It is the 1 thing that no matter how poor we are I will not give up! When hubby was away I had 2 days a week with just bubs where I could catch up on sleep, do the shopping and the housework. The youngest 2 still go to Krippe while the oldest ones are at school & Kindergarten but it is still 2 half days a week of time for me to get things done. For me it is not a luxury but a necessity.
Keep to your regular daily routine of going for a walk, to the park, play group etc. This gives you fresh air, a change of scenery and a great opportunity for the little one to get rid of some excess energy. Make sure bed times stay the same and lower your standards. Does it matter if the washing doesn't get folded today? Will anyone care if I haven't cleaned the bathrooms this week? Will I be a bad mum for feeding the kids nuggets and chips 2 nights in a row? The answer is no! Make life easy for yourself!!
When I know a trip is coming up (rather frequently this year too) I always cook a bit more and then freeze the leftovers so I have a few quick reheatable and healthy meals on hand.
When hubby returns I always make sure that I get a few hours child free where I can go out by myself and have a coffee, lunch, wander the shops, go the gym, go for a walk, get my hair cut, anything. It is important that you take a few hours of you time, almost like a reward for surviving!

Something my husband did when I had the newborn was he looked into getting a cleaner for me. He spoke to his boss and said that as he had 2 big trips would they be prepared to pay for someone to come a couple of times a week to help me. See if your husband is able to do this.

As for me being sick, I haven't really had a choice so I have just got on and done what was essential and left the rest. The closest my husbands travel has been is at least a 5 hour journey for him away from us. It just hasn't been feasible for him to return. If I was really ill and had to have days in bed well that is a different story but colds, ear infections and even a twisted knee has never stopped him travelling.

I realise that you are still new in Spain and might not have a big network of friends but if you haven't already done so find a playgroup as they will become your life line. We found a playgroup not long after arriving and after 3 years we still go there each week. I have met some of my closest friends and support there. We all understand what it is like when husbands travel and often end up at each others places for dinner when the men are away.

So in a nutshell - take a deep breath, lower your standards, keep to your normal routine, and just carry on like it is just another day.
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  #26  
Old 08.07.2011, 12:41
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Nil, here is another thread from someone in a similar situation.

Basically I think the consensus was that you just do your best. Single parents have to do this all the time, and if they can do it so can you. Don't be afraid to cut corners - skip some of the housework, eat more quick-fix food etc. Kids will survive for a week and so will you.
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  #27  
Old 08.07.2011, 12:47
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Anytime I was stressed about dealing with overload, I thought about my dear friend who, after years of her hubby persuading her to have a child, finally agreed to find herself with triplets and her hubby locking himself in his study to finish his PhD.

You will be alright. You might even like it. No stress. It's just the thought of it that might be stressing you. It's summer, eat simple and cheap food and chill on the beach with happy babes. Or, have a friend spend time with you, you all chilling on the beach, so you don't feel alone. It's the solitude and lack of adult interaction that can be stressful, not really synchronizing kids and all the running around.
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  #28  
Old 08.07.2011, 13:30
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

It should be alright! I often manage to get both the kids in bed with proper feeding, bath, teeth clean and a story.

It is just the sick part that bug me. Maybe it is because of those past 4 days with 40 degrees of fever that made me think that if the mom in the house is not well, nothing goes well for the whole family.

You can take off work but not off home!
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  #29  
Old 08.07.2011, 13:33
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

You can take off home too. Skipping the story and the bath for a day doesn't make you a bad mother.
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  #30  
Old 08.07.2011, 13:40
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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It should be alright! I often manage to get both the kids in bed with proper feeding, bath, teeth clean and a story.

It is just the sick part that bug me. Maybe it is because of those past 4 days with 40 degrees of fever that made me think that if the mom in the house is not well, nothing goes well for the whole family.

You can take off work but not off home!
Tell me about it!

Before I met my lovely man and had to do it by myself I picked something up and came down with a fever, sickness, the works. I couldn't leave the house to get mini-mimi to daycare so I had to find a way to manage. It's amazing what you can achieve when you have to. She stayed fed, watered and well and I managed to keep going until her bedtime when I finally flopped into bed and allowed myself to wallow in self pity (I am a terrible patient when I am ill ).
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