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Old 07.07.2011, 22:01
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Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Hello,

I need to get some tips and experiences of how you handle the husband on a business trip for a few days and left alone with the kids.

What happened if you are sick? How do you organise yourself to have help? Does Hubby cancel his trip?

Thanks.


PS: I forgot to mention, without having family members, of course.
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:10
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Now that would be crappy crap . Touch wood I've never been in that situation.
The church I belong to has a really nice congregation and I'm sure they would help me out if I ever got in a jam.

Are you ok Nil?
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:11
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

For me it was great neighbours every time- wherever we went we came up trumps with fab neighbours. But I realise this is just too early for you. Hopefully, all will be well - time will pass quickly and just make the heart grow fonder xx
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:12
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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Hello,

I need to get some tips and experiences of how you handle the husband on a business trip for a few days and left alone with the kids.

What happened if you are sick? How do you organise yourself to have help? Does Hubby cancel his trip?

Thanks.


PS: I forgot to mention, without having family members, of course.
Did you not think to discuss this with your partner before he left?

I'm pretty sure he's the one who can provide the most appropriate answers to your situation.
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:13
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Uhm. It's a bit like being a single parent... But for a couple of days.....or being a babysitter....but for a couple of days. Is this one of those joke threads I've been reading about. Has 4chan taken over from the Local?
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:32
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

No, no cancelling the business trip he needs the job and no boss will accept it. Remember that we do still live in a man's world. It is as it is.

Babysitter, friends, other young mamas in the same situation.
It's all you can do.

.....have been there and done that.. it's exhausting for sure.
The only consolation is that it's temporary.

Big hug,
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:35
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Hmmm Eco has a point there Nil. I assume you cope as you would a single parent. I am going to be left alone for 2 weeks in a few months. I am sure I'll cope. I'm a woman but I do only have one and a dog

Good luck
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:35
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Yes, I agree with Sky, Nil. Not easy for you, I know, being in a new place with young children. Have you managed to find a mother and toddler group or similar in Barcelona?
Or do you know any of your husband's colleagues' wives yet?

Good luck anyway, and I am sure you will be fine
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:38
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

. .
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:41
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Luckily these days with phones/email etc it is very easy to check up that all is well.

When I was alone with little ones I was always concerned that I would fall and not be able to get to one of the children.

As your little Princess is now old enough to understand that if mummy is poorly she could get the phone and if need be press the 3 digit no for help.

I am sure that you will have begun to make new friends and you will soon fill your days with many activities and discoveries that you will be able to share with Mr Nil on his return.
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:41
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Hi Nil I'm taking your post as being serious as it is a situation I am frequently left in and for those of us left at home with small (and in your case very small) children, it is no joke.

Alas in my experience, it does happen that you can be ill and frankly it is usually a case of just doing the bare minimum to survive until partner can return. A couple of times over the years my husband has managed to return early but due to the distances involved (once he was in some far off corner of Japan) all was back on track by the time he turned up, all fired up, ready to save the day! I also find that in the case of illness, friends are often not so keen to help (nor am I that happy to ask) simply because the risk that they too will go down with what you've got (mainly a problem when the illness involves vomiting ... lovely)

But the few times it has happened, there has usually been some leeway be it a kind friend, an early return of the traveller or just being amazed with what I can do when there is no choice. As for making plans, well I think you can tell, we don't really ...

Take care

PS in my experience, you have more to worry about things going wrong in the house when husband is away .... just about any appliance or heating breakdown, flood, child accident, ant infestation etc etc that has ever occurred to us, happened when I was on my own.
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:43
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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. .

How did you get this photo? Have you been creeping around my house??? ...
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:45
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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How did you get this photo? Have you been creeping around my house??? ...
Someone has to give your kids an apple.
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Old 07.07.2011, 22:49
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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No, no cancelling the business trip he needs the job and no boss will accept it. Remember that we do still live in a man's world. It is as it is.
I agree - and in some business cultures it is very poorly viewed. My husband curtailed a trip to Japan because I had been hospitalised with a bug that at that point seemed to be threatening very early labour onset, but still his decision to return was greeted by his Japanese business suppliers with ... shall we say ... surprise. Luckily his boss supported him and as he had big bucks to spend in Japan, his contacts were happy enough to see him return a couple of weeks later.
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Old 07.07.2011, 23:01
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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Did you not think to discuss this with your partner before he left?

I'm pretty sure he's the one who can provide the most appropriate answers to your situation.
You make good assumptions...

Please refer to this below:

Quote:
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Hello,

I need to get some tips and experiences of how you handle the husband on a business trip for a few days and left alone with the kids.

What happened if you are sick? How do you organise yourself to have help? Does Hubby cancel his trip?

Thanks.


PS: I forgot to mention, without having family members, of course.
No where did I mentioned Hubby was gone, that I was sick and we never spoke about it.

Cheers
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Old 08.07.2011, 00:28
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

It's what you were implying you need help with, so yeah, it was a rational assumption. If you're looking for answers as to how a single parent looks after her kids all alone, I'd say she gets on with it using her wit and wisdom. Personal sacrifice, sleep deprivation, screaming, 3 hours to get out of the house, feeling ill yet muddling through because she's a Mother. That kinda thing...
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Old 08.07.2011, 00:40
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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It's what you were implying you need help with, so yeah, it was a rational assumption. If you're looking for answers as to how a single parent looks after her kids all alone, I'd say she gets on with it using her wit and wisdom. Personal sacrifice, sleep deprivation, screaming, 3 hours to get out of the house, feeling ill yet muddling through because she's a Mother. That kinda thing...
As a (male) single parent, I'd say that you just HTFU and get on with it.
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Old 08.07.2011, 00:49
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

Chloroform, rum and a carton of fags. Time will fly by.
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Old 08.07.2011, 01:26
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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Hello,

I need to get some tips and experiences of how you handle the husband on a business trip for a few days and left alone with the kids.

What happened if you are sick? How do you organise yourself to have help? Does Hubby cancel his trip?

Thanks.
PS: I forgot to mention, without having family members, of course.
Make sure that you keep up on clean clothes and have enough easily prepared food items for you and them. Then if you get hit with an illness you can at least take care of their basic needs.

Is this just to prepare or do you have something specific in mind?
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Old 08.07.2011, 06:47
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Re: Partner on Business trip, left alone with the kids

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Hello,

I need to get some tips and experiences of how you handle the husband on a business trip for a few days and left alone with the kids.

What happened if you are sick? How do you organise yourself to have help? Does Hubby cancel his trip?

Thanks.


PS: I forgot to mention, without having family members, of course.
Oh Nil I so understand where you are coming from. Are you sure you talking about you and not me??

I have got use to my husband travelling for work since the day we met and we have NEVER lived near family. I actually find it easier now with kids than before we were married!

My youngest was 2 weeks old and I had 3 others under 5 when hubby went away for 3 weeks, home for 2 weeks away then away for another 2 weeks. I look back now and think how the be jesus did I cope with a newborn and 3 others. I answer is you just do. Each day is just like a normal day BUT with a bit of extra work i.e. the things hubby does to help around the house and with the kids.
One thing I have always had though is daycare for the older children. Within 3 weeks of arriving in Switzerland we found a Krippe for the children to attend 2 full days a week. It is the 1 thing that no matter how poor we are I will not give up! When hubby was away I had 2 days a week with just bubs where I could catch up on sleep, do the shopping and the housework. The youngest 2 still go to Krippe while the oldest ones are at school & Kindergarten but it is still 2 half days a week of time for me to get things done. For me it is not a luxury but a necessity.
Keep to your regular daily routine of going for a walk, to the park, play group etc. This gives you fresh air, a change of scenery and a great opportunity for the little one to get rid of some excess energy. Make sure bed times stay the same and lower your standards. Does it matter if the washing doesn't get folded today? Will anyone care if I haven't cleaned the bathrooms this week? Will I be a bad mum for feeding the kids nuggets and chips 2 nights in a row? The answer is no! Make life easy for yourself!!
When I know a trip is coming up (rather frequently this year too) I always cook a bit more and then freeze the leftovers so I have a few quick reheatable and healthy meals on hand.
When hubby returns I always make sure that I get a few hours child free where I can go out by myself and have a coffee, lunch, wander the shops, go the gym, go for a walk, get my hair cut, anything. It is important that you take a few hours of you time, almost like a reward for surviving!

Something my husband did when I had the newborn was he looked into getting a cleaner for me. He spoke to his boss and said that as he had 2 big trips would they be prepared to pay for someone to come a couple of times a week to help me. See if your husband is able to do this.

As for me being sick, I haven't really had a choice so I have just got on and done what was essential and left the rest. The closest my husbands travel has been is at least a 5 hour journey for him away from us. It just hasn't been feasible for him to return. If I was really ill and had to have days in bed well that is a different story but colds, ear infections and even a twisted knee has never stopped him travelling.

I realise that you are still new in Spain and might not have a big network of friends but if you haven't already done so find a playgroup as they will become your life line. We found a playgroup not long after arriving and after 3 years we still go there each week. I have met some of my closest friends and support there. We all understand what it is like when husbands travel and often end up at each others places for dinner when the men are away.

So in a nutshell - take a deep breath, lower your standards, keep to your normal routine, and just carry on like it is just another day.

Last edited by ka pai; 08.07.2011 at 07:56. Reason: clarity!
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