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  #41  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:39
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

I in my fever delusion have already posted my letter to unlikely respondee in Song of the Day, hahaha, but voila, I will have another go..

Dear across the hall neighbor who keep putting hand me down cloths and toys and books on our doorstep. You are a gem.

Dear colleagues who have painfully stuck to torturing me speaking French, yes, I bitched, but you knew what you were doing.

I am too positive, am I not? Well, I will get back to crabiness when I am not so hot anymore.

Anyways, more seriousness. Dear parents who want to immerse kids in public school here and think that's all it takes. No. From grade 1, do the homework with your kids, at least secretly supervise. Show your interest. Curb their attitude. Teach them how to expect a lot from themselves since the school might tell them the opposite. Give them confidence. Early streaming needs parents who are informed and kids who are on track otherwise they are in for a disappointment and it also happens to foreign families who haven't realized how the system works.

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Dear Editor Bob,

Hello.

Yours etc.,
M.
Awww....

You can always talk to the hand?
I mean us? But I am out of comission, cough cough cough...off to scroll through the reported posts.
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Last edited by MusicChick; 23.09.2011 at 17:00. Reason: Jokes aside, EB is super approchable, but swamped. But we are here, for most part, at least....
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  #42  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:40
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Dear Fribourg town planners,
Please reverse the decision to make Rte de la gare one-way only. Not only have you completely f ucked up the rest of the traffic in the town centre, but I now have to wait 20 minutes for a bus, during which time 3 should have passed by.
Sincerely,
The same irate commuter
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  #43  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:40
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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My fridge is far away from the oven, but my little brother has his next to the oven. Years ago we tested the power consumption by timing the compressor On cycles, just for fun, because he said it's bad and I said nope. With the oven on full blast, the fridge used about 5% more electricity than normally. With the oven on (very often not even on full blast), say, about two hours a week (2 in 168 hours = 1 in 84 hours), that makes an overall increase in power consumption of 0.06%, so you can forget that. Even an oven that is used far more frequently will not make a measurable dent in your budget.
Agreed, this is codswallop. Our built-in oven is next to the built-in fridge, and the oven is very well insulated indeed, as is the fridge. Any heat from the oven inside the enclosure rises up to the back, as does the heat from the fridge. The fridge is also separated from the oven by a sealed double 19mm chipboard separator and there is also a warm-air outlet vent at the top and it's partner-in-crime, the cool-air inlet, is at the bottom. The only thing would be conduction from the warm surface of the oven, through the chipboard and insulation of the fridge, thus warming up the fridge contents. Absolutely minimal !

Otherwise, Swiss kitchens are extremely high quality, but badly designed by someone who had never been near a kitchen, let alone used one in anger. Much like the software for the Cablecom boxes, which seems to have been written by someone who has never used, or watched, television..

Chris

Last edited by MusicChick; 23.09.2011 at 13:41. Reason: fixed quote...
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  #44  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:43
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Agreed, this is codswallop. Our built-in oven is next to the built-in fridge, and the oven is very well insulated indeed, as is the fridge. Any heat from the oven inside the enclosure rises up to the back, as does the heat from the fridge. The fridge is also separated from the oven by a sealed double 19mm chipboard separator and there is also a warm-air outlet vent at the top and it's partner-in-crime, the cool-air inlet, is at the bottom. The only thing would be conduction from the warm surface of the oven, through the chipboard and insulation of the fridge, thus warming up the fridge contents. Absolutely minimal !

Otherwise, Swiss kitchens are extremely high quality, but badly designed by someone who had never been near a kitchen, let alone used one in anger. Much like the software for the Cablecom boxes, which seems to have been written by someone who has never used, or watched, television..

Chris
Sorry to be a party pooper here, but I have noticed the out dated Cablecom stuff, that's just recycled upc stuff that does not get sold elsewhere, no? Here, you just get it since upc knows clients are way less likely to compare, or bitch. It's all about exposure. Which ain't so big here.
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  #45  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:43
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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ok, everybody.. all at once now.. take a deep breath and repeat after me...
.
Sod off, I'm on a roll.
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  #46  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:46
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

An open letter to the Cornish,

just cuz you've not had an HSD fer awhile there is no need to be rude to nice lil lolcats

signed

a concerned emmet
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  #47  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:48
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Dear Guy in die Bundesblahblahblah in charge of Parking Space Dimensions (and you KNOW there is one),

A parking space should be wide enough to give berth to the vehicle AND allow for passengers (and drivers) to open the doors and exit the vehicle safely without having to shimmy sideways. On your next planning review, perhaps you could revisit the dimensions of the Swiss parking space.

Yours truly,

Someone who really doesn't want to exit at the rear of the vehicle
roll on John Cleese
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  #48  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:50
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Dear Editor Bob,

Hello.

Yours etc.,
M.
Dear Editor Bob,

About when can we expect the profit-sharing cheques?

Best regards,
M.
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  #49  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:52
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Dear Cruella (or should I address you as Ms. de Vil?),

I do enjoy seeing your wonderful self every now and again when I walk my dog. You're probably a wonderful person behind that hideous exterior - here's hoping, anyway!

Anyway, moving swiftly on.

Our only interaction, truly, is when you come stalking around when or after I walk my dog in the woods above your house. Yes, my dog often pees on the bush opposite your house (on public property) so please don't complain about it. If you knew dogs, you'd know that he's not the only one....if you want proof, go sniff it!

The main thing that disturbs me (bar the time I saw you throwing stones at my dog) is that you appear to believe that every single turd in the woods has some from the puckering anus of my dog. It's simply not true - observe and learn.

He's a sizeable dog and, logically, produces sizeable turds. Being of an odd disposition, he tends to move around when crapping (I actually think he's admiring his "work") - again, this would help identify his turds from those other turds.

Mind you, my bright red turd-bags usually dispose of this evidence very quickly so you may struggle to learn.

One last thing - do be careful as it appears that there may be a collection of bears (big and small) in the woods.

Kiss, kiss,
Me
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  #50  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:57
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Otherwise, Swiss kitchens are extremely high quality, but badly designed by someone who had never been near a kitchen, let alone used one in anger.
The warming inside my fridge is more than minimal though, but the fridge is so small, it probably doesn't make much of a difference in terms of my electric bill. That said, it's really unnecessary and poor design to put them next to each other. Why not install a properly-sized oven underneath the hob where you'd expect it to be in the first place instead of in a small cabinet next to the fridge? Quality wasn't so much the problem as the poor design...and I didn't even begin to rant on the garbage thing that I gave up on a while back.
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  #51  
Old 23.09.2011, 13:58
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Agreed, this is codswallop. Our built-in oven is next to the built-in fridge, and the oven is very well insulated indeed, as is the fridge. Any heat from the oven inside the enclosure rises up to the back, as does the heat from the fridge. The fridge is also separated from the oven by a sealed double 19mm chipboard separator and there is also a warm-air outlet vent at the top and it's partner-in-crime, the cool-air inlet, is at the bottom. The only thing would be conduction from the warm surface of the oven, through the chipboard and insulation of the fridge, thus warming up the fridge contents. Absolutely minimal !
It must be my radiant personality that boosts my fridge temperature up to 19C when the oven is on, then...

Takes over an hour to cool it back to the normal 5C after I have switched off the oven, though.
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  #52  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:01
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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He's a sizeable dog and, logically, produces sizeable turds. Being of an odd disposition, he tends to move around when crapping (I actually think he's admiring his "work") - again, this would help identify his turds from those other turds.
Dear various EF dog lovers,

I know this is a public forum and we have freedom of speech. Well, sort of - till mods have enough. Anyway - it might be hard for you to understand, but the non-dog lovers really don't want to hear the detailed description of "how my beloved child surrogate has a dump".

Same goes for the parents on here. Look how the dog owners manage to keep their pets out of trouble: get a leash.

Thanks.
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  #53  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:15
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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An open letter to the Cornish,

just cuz you've not had an HSD fer awhile there is no need to be rude to nice lil lolcats

signed

a concerned emmet
Dear holiday home owners in Cornwall,
Seriously, bugger off. We know where you live (well for a couple of weeks in the Summer at least) and we have petrol and matches to spare.
Mebyon Kernow

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  #54  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:19
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Also to be seen in Bern. Not so in Fribourg, oddly enough.
It's the blooming Fribourgers going home that cause all the trouble!
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  #55  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:21
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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It's the blooming Fribourgers going home that cause all the trouble!
On the contrary, it's all the Bernese going to work in Zürich. They're probably the same ones crowding onto trains in Zürich on the way home again.

Oh yeah, and it's Freiburgers or Fribourgeois
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  #56  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:22
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

the bernese going to zurich don't pass from fribourg!
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  #57  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:27
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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the bernese going to zurich don't pass from fribourg!
No, they are, however, the ones crowding onto the train, when I'm getting off in Bern.
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  #58  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:34
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Are, there I see the similarity: I come from Zurich and can't get off, you come from Fribourg and can't get off. It must be the Berners & the furriners!

Fribourgeoise are the rich ones. Peasants are called Fribourgers or Freiburgers in English. Usually they respond to "Out of the way A*******s" so I suppose their nickname must be A******e
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  #59  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:42
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Dear Unnamed Client,

I am glad you chose me/us over the competition to provide services. I studied hard and long your company's worldwide operations, I put in the long hours, I even logged on to be on a call with your subsidiaries in China and the US at odd hours, on the same day. I tried to find an answer and propose alternatives to improve the efficiency of your business, and I delivered my product to you in multiple languages, so as to minimize your efforts worldwide. That is my job, and I like it on top of that, so I give you my best.

There is a "minor" thing I would like to bring to your attention. When we last met, and you made all sorts of useless comments - such as "Where are you from?", "Your name is very cute", etc. - instead of paying attention to the content of my presentation, which incidentally was highlighting some very critical areas of exposure that could cost you a lot of money, it wasn't very nice of you. But I didn't pay attention and moved on.

However, later that week, when we were on the phone and you more or less implied (you didn't spell it out, but it was clear enough) that you would rather work with a male colleague instead of a female professional (me), because, in your mind, a man would "better understand the industry", believe me, if it wasn't for my nice boss who told me not to worry and told you very calmly that I was your best bet if you wanted to get out of the hole you dag yourself into, I would have told you exactly what I think of you, in whatever language you are most comfortable with so you get the message clear and loud.

Sincerely,

Your Advisor
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  #60  
Old 23.09.2011, 14:46
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Re: Open Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

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Dear holiday home owners in Cornwall,
Seriously, bugger off. We know where you live (well for a couple of weeks in the Summer at least) and we have petrol and matches to spare.
Mebyon Kernow

Dear Mebyon Kernow,

without us you guys would be back in the mines and it gets mighty dark down there.. better save those matches.

love,

the emmets ( Kernow bys vyken! )

p.s... now about all that paint you guys use "correcting" English Heritage signs....
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