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Old 16.11.2011, 11:33
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Being the child of a single mom/dad

In my case, the sperm donor left my mom and I when I had some months old and my mom met my father when I was like 2 years so I never knew he was not my biological father until I was like 18. It never made a difference in my life and whenever I need a father I always have who to go to, I know some other friends that the parents have divorced but the father was still somehow around.

What are your experiences? Im asking directly to the ones who grew up without a dad/mom, what would you have preferred your mom/dad to tell you about him/her not being around? Did it affect you in any way?
Any advice highly appreciated.

Thanks,
CoCo
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Old 16.11.2011, 11:39
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

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In my case, the sperm donor left my mom and I when I had some months old and my mom met my father when I was like 2 years so I never knew he was not my biological father until I was like 18. It never made a difference in my life and whenever I need a father I always have who to go to, I know some other friends that the parents have divorced but the father was still somehow around.

What are your experiences? Im asking directly to the ones who grew up without a dad/mom, what would you have preferred your mom/dad to tell you about him/her not being around? Did it affect you in any way?
Any advice highly appreciated.

Thanks,
CoCo
A very caring post that. In my case its the reverse but I dont want to get into it for the sake of my kids
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Old 16.11.2011, 11:53
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

Im also very interested on this. My husband has been talking to me lately about how much he loves my daughter and when he felt was the moment he truly felt like she is his own. Its when we took her to dentist and they had to put her under general anaesthesia, he was very emotional. My daughter also just recently stopped calling him with his first name, now its daddy or papi. My daughter doesnt know about the "sperm donor". Before i got married, my dad was her "dad" and she´s growing so fast now and being very observant about these things that im getting worried. Its also sad that we dont have the same last name. She has my maiden name and we might have to wait until she´s 18 until we can do something about that without spending a fortune.
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Old 16.11.2011, 12:01
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

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Im also very interested on this. My husband has been talking to me lately about how much he loves my daughter and when he felt was the moment he truly felt like she is his own. Its when we took her to dentist and they had to put her under general anaesthesia, he was very emotional. My daughter also just recently stopped calling him with his first name, now its daddy or papi. My daughter doesnt know about the "sperm donor". Before i got married, my dad was her "dad" and she´s growing so fast now and being very observant about these things that im getting worried. Its also sad that we dont have the same last name. She has my maiden name and we might have to wait until she´s 18 until we can do something about that without spending a fortune.
What my mom did was to report him as missing and after couple of years she was granted the sole guardian and then my father adopted me. I never knew all that, like i said when I was 18 i had to get some papers for college and found the first birth certificate, I went to my dad and asked, Is your real last name "this" he said no, then I understood and asked him why the lie. He said he was too scared that i felt different about him. To me he just passed from father to hero.

Im happy for your family Steph, the meaning of father goes much further than procreation.
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Old 16.11.2011, 12:03
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

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Im also very interested on this. My husband has been talking to me lately about how much he loves my daughter and when he felt was the moment he truly felt like she is his own. Its when we took her to dentist and they had to put her under general anaesthesia, he was very emotional. My daughter also just recently stopped calling him with his first name, now its daddy or papi. My daughter doesnt know about the "sperm donor". Before i got married, my dad was her "dad" and she´s growing so fast now and being very observant about these things that im getting worried. Its also sad that we dont have the same last name. She has my maiden name and we might have to wait until she´s 18 until we can do something about that without spending a fortune.

Can you not change her name by deed poll? I did for my daughter?
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Old 16.11.2011, 12:11
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

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Can you not change her name by deed poll? I did for my daughter?

Me too, if you are from the UK its very easy, I did it from Switzerland, over some online website and then with the deed poll documents used that to change passport and everything.

I am very fortunate, my husband has been my daughter's daddy since she was 2. she still has contact with her biological Dad in UK and see's him maybe 3 or 4 times a year. So far its worked out well.


Am open to being Pm'd if anyone wants to to ask anything.
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Old 16.11.2011, 12:16
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

I dont know about "deed poll" and i dont think that would work from us. None of us is from UK and my husband has asked people here with the same situation and the best thing so far is to let her decide when she is 18, otherwise he would have to adopt her and its a complicated/expensive process.
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Old 19.11.2011, 09:44
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Re: Being the child of a single mom/dad

In Switzerland this is a lot more complicated unfortunately. You need to have the birth father's written permission, and legislation differs from canton to canton, but have a look at the Zivilstandsamt. Here's the relevant link for Zurich:
http://www.gaz.zh.ch/internet/justiz...ar-textimage_2

Last edited by swissmama; 19.11.2011 at 09:49. Reason: cop
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