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Old 13.12.2011, 11:21
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Corrupt-a-Wish

It's a slow day and I'm bored. So it's time to introduce Corrupt-a-Wish to the English Forum. The rules are simple enough:

Grant the wish above yours, staying 100% faithful to the literal request, but in the worst possible way against the spirit/intention of the poster or with otherwise worst possible outcomes.

Then post your own wish, being as airtight as possible.

Rules:
1. Exactly one wish and one granting per post.
2. Wishes and grants must be <= 140 characters of English.
3. No wishing for anything of better than a wish (e.g. more wishes, ability to grant wishes, etc).
4. You are ominpotent to fulfill (and pervert) the preceding wish.
5. Grant MUST actually fulfill the wish as stated.

For example:

WISH: I wish snow would finally arrive in Switzerland so I can start skiing.
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Old 13.12.2011, 11:23
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

GRANTED: Two metres of fresh powder arrive and conditions are ideal. Unfortunately, none of the roads are clear, leaving you stranded at home.

WISH: I wish I could buy brown sugar in Switzerland.
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Old 13.12.2011, 11:28
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

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GRANTED: Two metres of fresh powder arrive and conditions are ideal. Unfortunately, none of the roads are clear, leaving you stranded at home.

WISH: I wish I could buy brown sugar in Switzerland.
GRANTED: You can buy brown sugar... but only laced with ouchboy's pee.

WISH: Chuck Norris would cry.
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Old 13.12.2011, 11:28
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

GRANTED: It's available but you need to ask on EF to find out where

WISH: I wish an authentic Chinese (or any SE Asian cuisine) restaurant would open in Basel at an affordable price.
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Old 13.12.2011, 11:31
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

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GRANTED: It's available but you need to ask on EF to find out where

WISH: I wish an authentic Chinese (or any SE Asian cuisine) restaurant would open in Basel at an affordable price.
GRANTED: There is one, but their special of the day is stir-fried rat, adorned with crispy roach
WISH: It would snow in Malta
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Old 13.12.2011, 11:32
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

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WISH: I wish an authentic Chinese (or any SE Asian cuisine) restaurant would open in Basel at an affordable price.
GRANTED: An authentic Chinese restaurant opens up just off Marktplatz, but their menu features only dog & cat, served by typical Swiss waiters.

WISH: Parity with the Euro, for just long enough that I can buy a new house over the border.
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