Online forum abuse, is it real? are you a victim?

[Caviarchips]

	Quote:	Oldhand
	I must be a bit dim or never got involved in PM's. Quite honestly I know nothing about this recent discord. I love this place like a friend and I have no idea about whats going on. What I do know is, like in life, it's what you make of it.

Can I join your dim gang, coz I'm lost with this thread too

Isn't it pretty simple?

If its mild abuse, press ignore
If its more serious, email a mod
If its threatening, call the police

[Mud]

	Quote:	Oldhand
	I must be a bit dim or never got involved in PM's. Quite honestly I know nothing about this recent discord. I love this place like a friend and I have no idea about whats going on. What I do know is, like in life, it's what you make of it.

Same here; I would be curious to see the results of an anonymous poll on the subject. Not doubting that it happens or the seriousness of it when it does, just curious how isolated or widespread it is.

[olygirl]

	Quote:	Caviarchips
	Can I join your dim gang, coz I'm lost with this thread too Isn't it pretty simple? If its mild abuse, press ignore If its more serious, email a mod If its threatening, call the police

So mild abuse / harrassment is acceptable? Each person reacts differently to it so pressing the ignore button, although quite good for some, doesn't work for all.

I started this thread hoping that posters who have been harrassed will find the courage to step up and say stop.

Thanks for all your responses and taking the thread more or less seriously. EF is generally a great forum and I'd like to do my bit to keep it that way.

[Caviarchips]

	Quote:	olygirl
	So mild abuse / harrassment is acceptable? Each person reacts differently to it so pressing the ignore button, although quite good for some, doesn't work for all. I started this thread hoping that posters who have been harrassed will find the courage to step up and say stop. Thanks for all your responses and taking the thread more or less seriously. EF is generally a great forum and I'd like to do my bit to keep it that way.

Depends what you mean by "abuse" or "acceptable" - if I think that somebody is talking crap and I point it out, is that abuse?

[olygirl]

	Quote:	Caviarchips
	Depends what you mean by "abuse" or "acceptable" - if I think that somebody is talking crap and I point it out, is that abuse?

Nope. That's honesty and being objective. Keep it up.

[Wollishofener]

	Quote:	Scandinavian Viking
	FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH, As a resent newbie to E.F this thread and its topic actually surprises me !! There seem to be a open forum where anyone can post their opinions and thoughts, whilst you can expect other members to join in ,respond or reply in just the same open fashion. Having read lots of threads over the past few months , this leads mostly to a quite informative dialogue, at times some heated debate and often with silly(read funny) or open hearted comments. In fact I found the feel and tone of EF to be quite unique,people seem to be mostly helpful open and quite funny, in short, EF members comes across as genuine people. There might have been a comment here or there, that perhaps -in my opinion -was not best placed, however, it goes with the territory of posting something in an on-line forum. I have read thread runaways, where the mods have kept the threads running or even part-taken in banter, but the value of the thread have not been devalued in any way, it have been quite entertaining reading. Personally I would be sad to see EF as a more "controlled and restrictive" environment where openness might be lost and a bit of banter is limited, or even restricted by the moderators. You all seem like a great bunch, and it is a pleasure to be here on EF. Hope you all had a great x mas and look forward to a great beginning in 2012.

It unfortunately, on many forums, not just here, the infamous "tourist to Mallorca syndrome" which means that some people sometimes feel NON-observed and so revert to rough-talking in a way they in direct touch with people would not. Add to this that what is common standard in one country is undecent in the other. And third, many people can get rather emotional at times.

My advice to whomever feels "attacked". Do neither take such things literally nor too seriously.

	Quote:	olygirl
	There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it.

Yes, I've been blobbed a couple of times just for posting views contrary to those of the blobbers. Feels like a form of censorship - if you disagree with the general consensus we'll diss your rep - sort of thing. It's put me off posting a bit over the last few weeks; not that I'm overly worried about getting loads of greenies, but if I feel that a clique-opinion is the only one that will be allowed to be expressed I'm less likely to be bothered about expressing mine.

[onei]

The fact that this question has been raised makes it's existence difficult to deny, I have on occasion found the cyber-bullying on EF very interesting, I have even used threads in my work to illustrate how devious people can be by hiding bullying in the guise of help..

[Nil]

Let's not forget one thing, this forum and it's members are great! This forum was build from people who really cared for it and really believed in it, and look how great work they did, this forum is awesome... But where are they now? Why those who worked so hard to make it what it is, left? And why?

[onei]

	Quote:	Nil
	Let's not forget one thing, this forum and it's members are great! This forum was build from people who really cared for it and really believed in it, and look how great work they did, this forum is awesome... But where are they now? Why those who worked so hard to make it what it is, left? And why?

Good point, I see a Porsche was driven away quite recently !

	Quote:
	Yes, I've been blobbed a couple of times just for posting views contrary to those of the blobbers. Feels like a form of censorship - if you disagree with the general consensus we'll diss your rep - sort of thing. It's put me off posting a bit over the last few weeks; not that I'm overly worried about getting loads of greenies, but if I feel that a clique-opinion is the only one that will be allowed to be expressed I'm less likely to be bothered about expressing mine.

Although I note that one of the blobbers now seems to have disappeared from the member list, so presumably has been kicked off or deleted themselves for some reason. I haven't been paying much attention, but maybe the mods are doing a better job than I thought.

	Quote:	onei
	Good point, I see a Porsche was driven away quite recently !

But slowly, presumably, as "Speeding Kills".

[onei]

	Quote:
	But slowly, presumably, as "Speeding Kills".

We live in a dangerous world !

[Mud]

	Quote:	Nil
	But where are they now? Why those who worked so hard to make it what it is, left? And why?

My take is the forum evolved and wasn't exactly like it was 3 or some years ago, and like a bunch of Grandpapas who get grumpy when the youngsters put on a Slayer album they stormed off to their quiet little nook with more rules than the rules here that they complained about. I saw a lot of complaining in the time up to the exodus and honestly didn't see the substance of what they were complaining about. But then I don't get harassed either. But then I'm a fat ugly dude who tries to be polite online and stay out of the really heavy discussions (guns aside- I love guns ).

[Nil]

	Quote:
	Although I note that one of the blobbers now seems to have disappeared from the member list, so presumably has been kicked off or deleted themselves for some reason. I haven't been paying much attention, but maybe the mods are doing a better job than I thought.

It has nothing to do with the mods. They only thing they can do is banning. When banned, the members remain on the list. Deletion is coming from the person itself.

[Oldhand]

Nil, quite honestly I feel you take the Forum too seriously. It is, as it is. All this analysis doesn't do you any good. In fact it makes it harder and possibly lays you open to disappointment

Your concern and complaints invite the very thing you find disturbing.

[NotAllThere]

	Quote:	Oldhand
	I must be a bit dim or never got involved in PM's. Quite honestly I know nothing about this recent discord. I love this place like a friend and I have no idea about whats going on. What I do know is, like in life, it's what you make of it.

I'm similarly dim. I know people got upset about the changes to T&C and flounced. I've heard there's another forum set up somewhere but couldn't be bothered to get the details. (Seen such things happen before - it seldom works).

	Quote:	olygirl
	... That's why I posted a suggested list of guidelines. As a mod, what do you think?

Doesn't work. If you have guidelines/rules, then people will simply push the limits, and then when action is taken complain that they were within the rules. Practically, moderation is entirely subjective.

	Quote:	olygirl
	So mild abuse / harrassment is acceptable?...

Generally, yes. Or rather, tolerable. If you think EF is bad, try mumsnet...

	Quote:	Caviarchips
	Depends what you mean by "abuse" or "acceptable" - if I think that somebody is talking crap and I point it out, is that abuse?

It's an irregular noun.

I give a robust response
You have abused me
He is banned

	Quote:	Oldhand
	Nil, quite honestly I feel you take the Forum too seriously. It is, as it is. All this analysis doesn't do you any good. In fact it makes it harder and possibly lays you open to disappointment Your concern and complaints invite the very thing you find disturbing.

Very good point, forum abuse can also be self inflicted. Like substance abusers forum abusers also live a life of addiction, they can't make any move or action in their private lives without first posting about it on an open forum. The old saying, "Get a life" rings so true in these cases and it's very sad.

[Assassin]

I had someone saying they were going to beat the crap out of me after I made some sarcastic comment. Can't say I was really that bothered because I can handle myself, but knowing that the aforementioned numb nut would know where I was at a certain time (Sporting events -Flag Football) did give him the tactical advantage of surprise. All hot air in the end I guess.

Anonymity is fantastic camouflage, so people feel they can get away with insults and outrageous behavior just because they can. Fact is, there's the opportunity of winding up people, which can be a whole lot of fun, but also being truly sympathetic and understanding to those that show the need. I try and assess the mood before just going for the jugular, it doesn't always work, but then again I know enough of you in the real world to know if I've crossed the proverbial line of decency, because you'll tell me.

BTW - that's a bit rich suggesting that anyone here "get a life". Clearly we all do have a life, some just so happen to want to spend it writing and reading here. We all have our issues and reasons for being here. Look how many folk post here. Do they all need to quantify what "getting a life" dictates prior to posting?

[Nil]

	Quote:	vwild1
	Very good point, forum abuse can also be self inflicted. Like substance abusers forum abusers also live a life of addiction, they can't make any move or action in their private lives without first posting about it on an open forum. The old saying, "Get a life" rings so true in these cases and it's very sad.

Now let me laugh! That is your kracker jack box psychology about me? I won't say anything because I migh be accuse to take it too seriously but.... Really, read my thoughts.