Online forum abuse, is it real? are you a victim?

[olygirl]

There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it. There are have been other posters as well who have been unnecessarily hassled.

It's one thing to disagree with a poster due to a topic or feel provoked by a poster and respond to it, it's another thing to be terrorized or stalked by someone without knowing why.

I'd like to open Pandora's box and talk about it.

Thoughts?

[AbFab]

	Quote:	olygirl
	Thoughts?

Merry Christmas...

[MrVertigo]

	Quote:	olygirl
	There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it. There are have been other posters as well who have been unnecessarily hassled. It's one thing to disagree with a poster due to a topic or feel provoked by a poster and respond to it, it's another thing to be terrorized or stalked by someone without knowing why. I'd like to open Pandora's box and talk about it. Thoughts?

	Quote:	AbFab
	Merry Christmas...

This is the most violent form of abuse on the forum....

	Quote:	olygirl
	There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it. There are have been other posters as well who have been unnecessarily hassled.

We (the Mods) can't be everywhere all the time to see abuse happening. If it does exist then it's up to the member who feels they are being abused to report such offenses. If a member feels they are being unfairly attacked by another member then they should use the Report button in the upper right hand corner of each post to alert the Mods. Depending on the seriousness of the reported post we may do nothing initially but if we see a pattern developing we will take a more serious look at the problem. The same button is also available in all PM's you receive but when a member sends a report the Mods will then have the ability to read the offensive PM in the report (and no, Mods can't read PM's otherwise).



And I second AbFab's comment.. Merry Christmas

[olygirl]

	Quote:	vwild1
	We (the Mods) can't be everywhere all the time to see abuse happening. If it does exist then it's up to the member who feels they are being abused to report such offenses. If a member feels they are being unfairly attacked by another member then they should use the Report button in the upper right hand corner of each post to alert the Mods. We may do nothing initially but if we see a pattern developing we will take a more serious look at the problem. The same button is also available in all PM's you receive so but when a member sends a report the Mods will then have the ability to read the offensive PM.

Thank you, Mods.

[Nil]

Quite occasionally members come to me and tell me that after complaining To the mods, some refuse to take actions and resolve the situation. So to who someone should turn if a mod doesn't want to deal with the situation?

[Mud]

Never had even a whisper of a problem with other posters. I guess I am too soft to attract nasty PMs or red blobs .

[Village Idiot]

	Quote:	Mud
	Never had even a whisper of a problem with other posters. I guess I am too soft to attract nasty PMs or red blobs .

+1 (this message is too short)

	Quote:	Nil
	Quite occasionally members come to me and tell me that after complaining To the mods, some refuse to take actions and resolve the situation. So to who someone should turn if a mod doesn't want to deal with the situation?

The Mods are not going to spring into action every time someone makes an off the cuff remark. More often than not the problem is nothing more than a poster's ability to communicate or express themselves via the written word and/or the reader's ability to interpret said writings.

[MrVertigo]

I used a few times the "warning" icon to report a post by someone who was aggressive/offensive...but never heard of any reaction from the moderators. I stopped using it actually.

[Nil]

	Quote:	vwild1
	The Mods are not going to spring into action every time someone makes an off the cuff remark. More often than not the problem is nothing more than a posters ability to communicate via the written word and/or the reader's ability to interpret said writings.

Ok, but between you (a mod) and the member, it is two very different point of views. So should both be taking into consideration? It can be indeed what you say, but it can also be something else, no?

As members we try to put ourselves in your moderator shoes and see how much work mods have. As mod, to be able to put yourself in the other person's shoes regarding this exact situation can be very much appreciated.

Just a thought...

	Quote:	MrVertigo
	I used a few times the "warning" icon to report a post by someone who was aggressive/offensive...but never heard of any reaction from the moderators. I stopped using it actually.

Me too. And like you, I didn't see anything really hapeNning except for spam.

[Faltrad]

	Quote:	olygirl
	I'd like to open Pandora's box and talk about it. Thoughts?

When a forum legend lies and demeans openly, you can be sure no action will be taken. But most of them are off to the other forum anyway, so that should be settled :-D
Same with French bashing, it doesn't shock anybody but me. So I just adapt and bash the French too: to me, it's Eudipus all over again, so it's fun. Why other bashings are forbidden and action taken? Don't ask me.

[MusicChick]

	Quote:	Faltrad
	When a forum legend lies and demeans openly, you can be sure no action will be taken. But most of them are off to the other forum anyway, so that should be settled :-D Same with French bashing, it doesn't shock anybody but me. So I just adapt and bash the French too: to me, it's Eudipus all over again, so it's fun. Why other bashings are forbidden and action taken? Don't ask me.

Faltrad, I disagree with online status giving some extra protection, not in my world...If there are scenarios when it could look some way, we are always open to explain, if the request comes in good will. Nobody likes witch hunts, and we tend to be also busy with other stuff, but decent well meant questions always get an answer, or I try, if I am busy I move it over to a colleague.

The French bashing..I don't like either and I have zapped a few trying to be funny this way. But also realize, this forum being very Anglophone, French bashing happens to be some culture's fav past time, it can be shocking, ill taste to downright hilarious. I think some of the OTT French bashing posts were actually jokes. It's like when I say to hell with Yanks or Jews, when obviously, I am one and almost one.

Back to the abuse, unrequested pms could be also considered abusive. Bear that in mind when contacting a member who hasn't requested to be contacted. More so, if your unrequested pm has a dubious content or language.

[MrVertigo]

It's funny but after reading the different Mods answers I get the impression that the one reporting the abuse is 50% guilty.

I second Faltrad's remarks and experienced similar situations.

[MusicChick]

	Quote:	MrVertigo
	It's funny but after reading the different Mods answers I get the impression that the one reporting the abuse is 50% guilty.

Nope, but people reporting are sometimes guilty, unfortunately true, and it does not help us help them.

[Nil]

If someone gets abuses from someone who didn't like to be groaned or bad rep, it is not acceptable. Having someone telling you that you deserved it because you groaned or bad rep is a pity answer and goes against the forum rules.

If one should expect abuses as a normal reaction for using the rep system, well it should been take off the system.

[Nelly_Da_Hefferlump]

I've been groaned at and even red bobbied several times for absolutely no reason except the other person obviously mistook me for somebody who actually gives a Schmidt. Groan and blobbie away I have a real life off the forum. This doesn't stop me from doing this to somebody who is clearly out of order though.

[lifeisabuffet]

	Quote:	olygirl
	There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it. There are have been other posters as well who have been unnecessarily hassled. It's one thing to disagree with a poster due to a topic or feel provoked by a poster and respond to it, it's another thing to be terrorized or stalked by someone without knowing why. I'd like to open Pandora's box and talk about it. Thoughts?

Well it seems that in every forum, there are few control freaks who will take whatever you say way too seriously. Let's say your first ever thread was about politics and you told people you were conservative, those few will hold a grudge and will troll you on other topics. They will jump on any thread you post on and try to insult you. I think they have issues.

[onei]

	Quote:	lifeisabuffet
	Well it seems that in every forum, there are few control freaks who will take whatever you say way too seriously. Let's say your first ever thread was about politics and you told people you were conservative, those few will hold a grudge and will troll you on other topics. They will jump on any thread you post on and try to insult you. I think they have issues.

Agreed, but who really cares? I do on one hand find it sadly amusing and on the other accept it that in a foreign environment some people have little else in their lives, a little power, contrived or not is warranted to give to these people, because that is the English thing to do... God save our Queen !

[Assassin]

Olygirl - it's your poetry. I tried to tell you nicely ....

Have you ever considered an occupation writing those little notes and jokes that you get in Christmas crackers? I hear they pay good bucks for a good bang ....