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  #21  
Old 08.01.2012, 19:37
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Re: unbiased advice needed conc. relationship troubles

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She should leave him.

Then hopefully he wins the lottery or has a massive financial and life turnaround.

Then she loses her job or hits a real financial low and reaches out for him for help, love and companionship.

He tells her to piss off, citing reasons of materialism and too many outside influences on the relationship from nosey and intrusive friends of hers.

But then maybe she wont listen to a word anyone says and together they will work out their issues as one and be all the more in love, affording more trust and respect for each other.
An interesting storyline, almost sounds Bridget Jones's diary. All kidding aside, I think the whole thing is not about money or finances. It's about two people who are having issues coming together. Both need to sort out their issues before dedicating themselves into any kind of serious relationship.
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  #22  
Old 08.01.2012, 19:45
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Re: unbiased advice needed conc. relationship troubles

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I didn't imply anything about how far she should be willing to go...
All sorts of relationships work, from co-dependant, inter-dependant or even somewhat parasitic from an outsiders point of view.

Maybe he is using her, but maybe she is using him in other areas.

Maybe he is just saying that because he is not strong enough to say that he wants her to move in with him because he likes her...

Ours is not to wonder why.

The OP's question was about what she should do....

What she should do is be a friend.
Friendships sometimes last longer than relationships. Sometimes support a relationship.

No person is an island.
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  #23  
Old 08.01.2012, 20:18
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Re: unbiased advice needed conc. relationship troubles

I also think as a friend that is okay to be biased, and to act on that intuition.

We have friends in our lives for a variety of reasons, one of which is to know us and to act as a trusted advisor in our lives.
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  #24  
Old 14.01.2012, 10:30
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Re: unbiased advice needed conc. relationship troubles

Hello all
Thank you very much for your honest answers and advice! I've shown her all your answers and she's decided not to move in with him - at least not at the moment. Yay!
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Old 14.01.2012, 10:59
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Re: unbiased advice needed conc. relationship troubles

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Hello all
Thank you very much for your honest answers and advice! I've shown her all your answers and she's decided not to move in with him - at least not at the moment. Yay!
Super! And hopefully she is not going to give or lend him any money, unless she is sure that she does not need it and would not be concerned if she never sees it again.

While anyone can have a period of life where things go wrong and one is short of cash, the warning on this one ( as described to us) is that the man is not willing to even sell his car to help his financial position. I am trying to think of a situation in Switzerland where a car is an essential, and cannot think of one. A halbtax pass seems to be a much better, more responsible investment.
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