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Old 24.01.2012, 16:32
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Gossips at work

How do you handle them? Do you take part, stay away or confront the gossipies?

Situation:

You are in a team, have a great relation with everybody, everybody go to have lunch together, wait for each other for a coffee break, great atmosphere, really.

One day, a woman who was in maternity leave comes back. All of a sudden, the atmosphere changes. Group divided, some sit down next to her and whisper all the time in front of the others. Don't go to eat with others anymore and no more invitations.

We talk about grown up adults here, no teenagers in high school.

So?
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Old 24.01.2012, 16:43
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Re: Gossips at work

bah I hate it when it happens, I would act friendly but proffessionally still and if they want to keep gossiping it is their business
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:02
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Re: Gossips at work

I know what you mean.
I've promised myself that next time I am more or less directly involved in this kind of situation I will address what disturbs me loudly and for everyone to hear.
something like: "hey, why are you two whispering there in corner? don't you want to share any juicy information?"

or is it too naive?
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:16
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Re: Gossips at work

People are gonna gossip if they want to gossip... As long as the gossip is not truly malicious, I wouldn't worry about it. You can try to sit with them, and change the subject if things get too "gossipy," but that's about it...

Also, consider that someone returning from maternity leave might be interested in 'catching up' with the goings-on around the office while she was away. What may seem to be overly gossipy might be your coworkers catching her up and her telling baby stories.
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:19
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Re: Gossips at work

yes, I also think it's probably not always intentional or malicious
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:37
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Re: Gossips at work

Is this an all-woman environment? They are the worst, in my experience. If not, go for a coffee with one of the guys! If it is, then why not invite the girls who you used to lunch with to join you for coffee/lunch again?

Did you know the woman before she went on maternity leave?

In any case, I know that it can be unpleasant and unnecessary but just try to rise above it and keep a calm and friendly face (albeit through gritted teeth)
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:48
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Re: Gossips at work

Gossipseems to be is a fact of life in work and I can't think of anywhere where I have worked where it does not happen.

Maybe because she has been on maternity leave it is not gossip but trying to make her feel part of the team again after her absence.

(Actually, I think men are far worse gossips than women - I once worked in an office of 32 men and me and another girl - they were absolutely awful - bitching and gossiping most of the day)
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Old 24.01.2012, 17:53
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Re: Gossips at work

Doesn't appear to be a problem of gossips so much, but moreso cliques.
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Old 24.01.2012, 18:01
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Re: Gossips at work

Quote:
View Post
How do you handle them? Do you take part, stay away or confront the gossipies?

Situation:

You are in a team, have a great relation with everybody, everybody go to have lunch together, wait for each other for a coffee break, great atmosphere, really.

One day, a woman who was in maternity leave comes back. All of a sudden, the atmosphere changes. Group divided, some sit down next to her and whisper all the time in front of the others. Don't go to eat with others anymore and no more invitations.

We talk about grown up adults here, no teenagers in high school.

So?
I recall a funny situation when a fellow female team member wanted some new gossip on a team member who at the time was on maternity leave. I usually dont engage in petty gossip, but hey I am not perfect. I replied by saying; " Perhaps you should ask Alma, she is the team gossip and knows everything about everyone..." Of course I made sure that the team lended their ears.
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Old 24.01.2012, 18:07
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Re: Gossips at work

I they outlawed gossip ,life would be not worth living anymore For some people
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Old 24.01.2012, 19:25
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Re: Gossips at work

So this is the story of a friend (male) of mine working in zurich. Apparently the team is majority of women with few men only. Someone man is also in the gossipies team.

He don't know the woman before she came back, one of the outsider of the gossipies said it was like that as well before, so it seems like the gossip queen is back home.
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Old 24.01.2012, 19:32
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Re: Gossips at work

If you stay out of it, you become the topic of the gossip. Likewise if you call them on it too strong.

I learned a trick from an ex colleague who never seemed to have any problems. I sit around while people do it
and only give my two cents for the non malicious stuff, or I say something that slightly defends the person or adds new information fodder. Once at work they were picking on an ex employee, calling him stupid and slow. I said "oh I just think he was a bad fit for the position, I heard he is doing quite well in his new place."
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