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Old 18.02.2012, 11:54
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What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

...that you ended up doing?

I'm a soon-to-be parent and I think that like many people, I have this vision (probably totally inaccurate until I live it!) of how I'll parent my child.

I was talking to a friend who has two children and she mentioned how she always swore she'd never bribe her kids and would always "reason" with them. Well, she laughed and said that sometimes, a treat for good behavior works wonders in keeping the peace.

I'd love to hear some stories as I think it might help new parents like me (and maybe even current ones) feel better about our not so 'perfect' choices we'll inevitably make.
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Old 18.02.2012, 12:09
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

When I was pregnant with my eldest, I swore our bedroom was for the parents, and a baby needed hi own bedroom. Then I came back from hospital with my bundle of joy in my arms, and I realized there was no way I could let him sleep alone in his own room so far from me!

My little girle (baby nr2) even spent her first two months co-sleeping with us in our bed, and I loved it! Now she's 9 mo, and her crib is at the foot of our bed. I sleep much better if I hear my babies sleeping. Who would have known?
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Old 18.02.2012, 13:14
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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When I was pregnant with my eldest, I swore our bedroom was for the parents, and a baby needed hi own bedroom. Then I came back from hospital with my bundle of joy in my arms, and I realized there was no way I could let him sleep alone in his own room so far from me!

My little girle (baby nr2) even spent her first two months co-sleeping with us in our bed, and I loved it! Now she's 9 mo, and her crib is at the foot of our bed. I sleep much better if I hear my babies sleeping. Who would have known?
Oh, God, that rings a bell. It is the beginning of the demise of sex. Husbands, beware.
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Old 18.02.2012, 13:30
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

On bed sharing, I know several parents who have done this and it has been a really positive experience for both them and the baby. Better sleep and bonding being two benefits. Initially, I plan to co-sleep. I've got a single bed right beside the crib. However, our master bedroom has a super king bed and if my husband and I find that the initial plan doesn't work, we will try us all in one bed to see if this helps.

Milwaukee ran some really aggressive ads on bed sharing, a type of co-sleeping. I know some parents who found them offensive, in part, because the dangers of bed sharing generally come from parents doing it when they're drunk or under the influence of drugs.

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Old 18.02.2012, 13:38
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

A slap on the bottom. I swear I would never do it and there was that time she trully diserved it.

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Old 18.02.2012, 13:39
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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Oh, God, that rings a bell. It is the beginning of the demise of sex. Husbands, beware.
That might be true but am sure the exhaustion, hormones and total change in your life might be more of a factor? If you can get past those, you will find baby sleeps a lot more than you do and whoever said you could only have sex in a bed at bedtime?
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Old 18.02.2012, 14:01
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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It is the beginning of the demise of sex. Husbands, beware.
You say beware, some say don't miss the chance
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Old 18.02.2012, 22:59
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

I think almost everything I swore I wouldn't do, I now do or did :/
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Old 18.02.2012, 23:04
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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A slap on the bottom. I swear I would never do it and there was that time she trully diserved it.

This. It was discussed with Mrs. Mud first, then I delivered the smack on the bottom. Was long enough ago I don't think young Mud remembers at all (and it was entirely ineffective), but I do, and still regret it.
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Old 18.02.2012, 23:18
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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When I was pregnant with my eldest, I swore our bedroom was for the parents, and a baby needed hi own bedroom. Then I came back from hospital with my bundle of joy in my arms, and I realized there was no way I could let him sleep alone in his own room so far from me!
That's what I swore as well - now I am a pro in all kind of different baby sleep positions
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Old 18.02.2012, 23:19
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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I think almost everything I swore I wouldn't do, I now do or did :/
Me too.

Dummy (pacifier)
No child of mine was ever going to have one of these disgusting rubbery things that ruin your teeth. After 3 weeks of constant screaming I discovered that they were in fact the most fantastic invention ever.

Shouting
I always believed I would never shout at my kids, ever ever ever.
Well.... I have.... I do... I try not to actually, but it's pretty hard not to.

Sleeping
I actually expected that my son would sleep in our room (as most people do). In actual fact he was such a noisy sleeper that even in those precious minutes when he was asleep I couldn't get any sleep at all with him in the same room. He moved out at 3 weeks old (we did always leave the doors open though and he was only in the next room).

Sling
I planned to use one as everyone raved about them. In the end my son was 4.5 kilos at birth and it was the hottest summer ever. There was no way I could bear having a 4.5 kilo hot water bottle strapped to my chest when it was 35 degrees out there.

Breastfeeding
Well, don't we all plan to do that? I was sure I would never ever succumb to bottle feeding. But I did and it was fine. I don't regret it in the end.

So, anyway, the moral is: never say never. Just go with the flow and make your decisions as they come up based on what's going on at the time.
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Old 19.02.2012, 00:09
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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Me too.

Dummy (pacifier)
No child of mine was ever going to have one of these disgusting rubbery things that ruin your teeth. After 3 weeks of constant screaming I discovered that they were in fact the most fantastic invention ever.

Shouting
I always believed I would never shout at my kids, ever ever ever.
Well.... I have.... I do... I try not to actually, but it's pretty hard not to.

Sleeping
I actually expected that my son would sleep in our room (as most people do). In actual fact he was such a noisy sleeper that even in those precious minutes when he was asleep I couldn't get any sleep at all with him in the same room. He moved out at 3 weeks old (we did always leave the doors open though and he was only in the next room).

Sling
I planned to use one as everyone raved about them. In the end my son was 4.5 kilos at birth and it was the hottest summer ever. There was no way I could bear having a 4.5 kilo hot water bottle strapped to my chest when it was 35 degrees out there.

Breastfeeding
Well, don't we all plan to do that? I was sure I would never ever succumb to bottle feeding. But I did and it was fine. I don't regret it in the end.

So, anyway, the moral is: never say never. Just go with the flow and make your decisions as they come up based on what's going on at the time.
Very different for me:
Pacifier - my son rejected all kind of those. I had to live through the crying, but at least we had no problems with weaning ...
Sleeping - as mentioned before, I planned to have my son sleeping in his own room, but we practiced co-sleeping for a few months.
Stroller - my son was constantly crying in it, that's why I finally became an expert in baby carriers
Breastfeeding - I never really thought about it. Perhaps for 6 months at most was my idea. In the end it was 13 months.
But the moral is the same: never say never...
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Old 19.02.2012, 01:36
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

No TV as a babysitter.. no Sireee!
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Old 19.02.2012, 09:25
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

I think there are a few things.. and agree never say never to anything .

Dummy I used for all 3 despite saying I wouldnt when I had my second...

Co-Sleeping - 2 out of my 3 have done some co-sleeping my middle son didn't like it and would only sleep in his cot and still now (although despite having 4 beds to choose from gets in with my eldest so cute but never would sleep in our bed)

Weaning, said I would wait until the recommended age only happened with my youngest the other 2 were very hungry.

Bottle feeding I had hoped not to have to but I was unable to BF so doctors recommended formula... all very healthy children so not an issue in the end apart for me as was a bit gutted when it didnt work.

Slings were a life saver.. My eldest had reflux and would be sick a lot even with solids but wraps and carriers helped keep him upright. I have never really put my youngest in a buggy as so much easier to carry (now 11 mths) even carry my 2 year old at the same time. There are so many options better than a baby bjorn now and when I had the kids not something I thought I was do as it was more acceptable to have a buggy.

For me I think is that every child/baby is so different and things that worked for one didn't always work with another so everything is trial and error.. x
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Old 19.02.2012, 11:22
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

I swore I'd never abandon them, which is why I always sounded the girls out and made sure they had an earlier flight booked back from Ibiza, Magaluf, Napa etc
"your mumma left me" I could always say
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Old 20.02.2012, 21:21
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

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I think almost everything I swore I wouldn't do, I now do or did :/
for sure, this, and then some. the hardest part of being a parent (at least from I have learned) is forgiving yourself for your mistakes. a close second is learning to apologize to your child when you are wrong and, just as importantly, not to apologize when you are right.

we never wanted kids when we got married, then ended up with 3 and absolutely could not be happier that we changed our mind. as much as it can be a total PITA at times, there is nothing better than a house full of happy kids.
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Old 20.02.2012, 21:27
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

I swore I'd never swear in front of them (or with them in ear-shot).

Heard no.2 walking around the other day repeatedly saying "Oh, for dog's sake!"
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Old 20.02.2012, 22:19
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Re: What did you swear you'd never do when you become a parent...

Let my kids turn to the Light side.


I'd actually try not to use force on them
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