New House! [My bragging thread!]

monkeynut · #1 10.03.2008, 13:31

Hi

I am currently having a new house built near Geneva (in france though) and they have sent me a form if i want anything changing round with the layout etc.
I want to do something different with it and add some James Bond villain type features, a sharktank, secret doors perhaps...

Has anyone any good ideas i can practical incorporate?

Mikeybroomers · #2 10.03.2008, 13:38

Surely you need a lift with a collapsing floor or one that pumps sleeping gas into it when you have unwanted visitors?!

meloncollie · #3 10.03.2008, 13:40

I believe a James Bond villain type shark tank requires a permit in Switzerland...

So fill out the permit application form in triplicate, submit your design (stamped by a licensed shark tank architect), put up those funny construction poles, pass round the neighborhood consent petition...

Oh, and don't forget to invite the neighbors for an apero to see the finished project.

Congrats on the new house, by the way!

PlantHead · #4 10.03.2008, 13:44

ooo I always wanted to have a slide that went from my bedroom and dumped me straight into the bath...get up...weeeeee...splash.
Perfect.

Mikeybroomers · #5 10.03.2008, 13:44

How about a wrestling ring only to be used by midget wrestlers?

#6 10.03.2008, 13:45

Get a large array of those construction height poles, and display them at varying heights to give a flowing wave profile. I am surprised noone has done this already and called it "art".

Two things you must have:
a) a shark pit
b) a hole in the roof, for future embodiment of the missle-silo option.

dave

Polorise · #7 10.03.2008, 13:48

a miniature underground metro ..... oh & a missile/rocket launching volcano that also doubles up as your shark tank / swimming pool. PHead's slide could of course be integrated.

peachy · #8 10.03.2008, 13:57

You need a vast cave beneath it with its own electric railway system [edit, missed that this was already suggested]. Additionally you need a PA system capable of broadcasting some kind of countdown.

Mikeybroomers · #9 10.03.2008, 14:01

Whatever you do, don't leave your garage full of paper clips, copper pipes and a rusty bicycle or the A-Team will bust in there and make this...

Polorise · #10 10.03.2008, 14:03

oh & a dungeon, apparently Mikey is giving away love slaves.

Mikeybroomers · #11 10.03.2008, 14:08

	Quote:	Polorise
	oh & a dungeon, apparently Mikey is giving away love slaves.

True, here's the first of "Broomers' beauties"...

http://www.englishforum.ch/photos/sh...to/806/cat/505

monkeynut · #12 10.03.2008, 14:28

good stuff so far, tomorrow i will shortly be advertising for minions to ride monorails around the volcano etc.

Perks include nice uniform however untimely death a distinct possibility.

Tom1234 · #13 10.03.2008, 14:31

	Quote:	PlantHead
	ooo I always wanted to have a slide that went from my bedroom and dumped me straight into the bath...get up...weeeeee...splash. Perfect.

Actually, a slide is a really good idea. I saw a TV programme once where a slide had been incorporated next to the stairs and it was big enough for adults to use as well. It didn't actually look like a slide to the untrained eye - the whole house looked modern and was very stylish.

One a slightly more serious note, do you have family? If the house is very open plan, you may drive each other nuts with noise and disturbance and may want to consider a few internal walls to divide it up a bit.

Polorise · #14 10.03.2008, 14:31

	Quote:	Mikeybroomers
	True, here's the first of "Broomers' beauties"... http://www.englishforum.ch/photos/sh...to/806/cat/505

ginger is the new blonde ....

Zug bound · #15 10.03.2008, 14:36

A swivel chair and a catflap (for the cat) and a hat stand

#16 10.03.2008, 14:40

Swimming pool, sauna, room for a pony, and somewhere to display the Royal Doulton with the handpainted periwinkles...

Oh and a big fluffy pussy with a diamond encrusted collar, of course.

PlantHead · #17 10.03.2008, 14:49

How about a moat to keep out the barstewards with their free newspapers.

gooner · #18 10.03.2008, 14:51

	Quote:	PlantHead
	How about a moat to keep out the barstewards with their free newspapers.

how about a few AN/GAU-17 7.62mm Machine Guns mounted on the window ledges to compliment that?

Note: this activity is particularly fun on Saturday mornings between playing the horses online and watching the races on the telly. Bloody Mary's for breakfast are a must!

CH_Me · #19 10.03.2008, 15:00

I did see a fireman's pole in one house on UK TV. We have a wash shute from the bedroom down 2 floors to the laundry. If only I could invent something that puts the washing into the wachine and switches it on...

Beside and bathroom lights on a dimmer are also great ideas so you don't have to put on a bright light in the middle of the night.

Polorise · #20 10.03.2008, 15:11

	Quote:	MarieZug
	Beside and bathroom lights on a dimmer are also great ideas so you don't have to put on a bright light in the middle of the night.

James Bond .... not Mr Bean ...