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  #21  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:09
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Re: dating swiss men

When I met my Swiss wife, she was quite passive and not as opinionated as I would have liked. But I accepted her as she was. I thought she was just going through a culture shift while we were living in LA. But after many years of hanging out and partying with a wide range of character types. She bloomed.

When I got here, I realized that it was a distinct cultural characteristic. They've been programmed for self-restraint. Maybe the sunlight and the beaches brought it out of her. Though my wife is not a Swiss man, I think it applies to both sexes. Perhaps your boy is similar and just hasn't realized his potential. I suggest taking him for a 2 week holiday somewhere with sunny beaches and away from his normal civilization.
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  #22  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:19
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Re: dating swiss men

So true Phos...a change of environment can be very good for 'em old
Swissies..
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  #23  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:19
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Re: dating swiss men

I couldn't help but post my two cents about this subject. I literally let out an "OMG!" when I read the first post

This has actually been a bit of a sore spot with my BF and I. I am American and he is born and bred Swiss. It's not that he is overly passive but he definitely avoids conflict at all costs. He's a sweetie and I love him dearly (he might end up reading this at some point but a little more aggression or outgoingness (if that's truly the opposite of passive) would be just fine by me. A little more pizzazz would be nice sometimes.

He's traveled and lived outside of Swissland for a little while. I always hear about the boys who were born and raised here, never leave and think Switzerland is the best place on Earth. I'm so glad that I nabbed one with a broader horizon!

Thanks for the post!
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  #24  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:22
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Re: dating swiss men

PS. Love the video!!
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  #25  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:31
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Re: dating swiss men

When I first met my Swiss husband,he too tried to avoid conflict at all
costs but being married to me for six years(with my half Greek mood
swings),he soon discovered that I like a bit of a challenge and he is no
longer passive..I think I changed him quite a bit.It takes time but it can
be done.
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  #26  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:36
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Re: dating swiss men

good video, have to say that I've found swiss men very receptive and different from man to man , if they will make the first move plans etc.
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  #27  
Old 12.04.2008, 16:37
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Re: dating swiss men

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Please note this ad from Switzerland Tourism
The ad said "Where the men spend less time on football, and more time than you."

Eh... I think they lied.
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  #28  
Old 12.04.2008, 17:29
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Re: dating swiss men

About swiss women :
You have better chances when you meet them on holiday.
But within the country you're time and effort will go unrewarded
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  #29  
Old 12.04.2008, 19:04
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Re: dating swiss men

Living in a valley where everyone is connected is a bit inhibiting for both sexes I suppose...
Though, the right place, time, quantity of consumption and with no one on-looking super agressive acting out occurs
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  #30  
Old 12.04.2008, 19:37
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Re: dating swiss men

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So, for you girls out there, is it just me, or have you found, when dating swiss men, that they are a bit...passive?

Like, I find myself always having to suggest date ideas and make the plans, because the guys I date here seem to think that "chivalry" means letting the girl call all the shots.

Is it cultural, or is it just that the guys I happen to meet are a bit..."too nice" (not to say...boring)?

Thoughts welcome.

(Also, has anyone found that swiss guys seem to be totally surprised when you smile or flirt with them? I mean innocent flirting, etc, but if you touch them on the arm or something they look at your hand wide-eyed like they've never been touched on the arm before??)
Er, this is not directed at the OP, but maybe if you're dating and the guy isn't showing much interest... he's just not that interested but hanging on for the sake of company?

I know when I meet ladies and feel something 'spark', then the fire is only around the corner (but I'm not, er, Swiss ).

If I meet a girl and go out a few times and there's no spark, I'm not going to cut the evening off (far too well-mannered to be selfish, I like to think) but I'm sure not going to be the Last Action Hero for someone who just doesn't float my boat.

Also, overly-flirting women can be a major annoyance. Just because us chaps have a one-track mind, doesn't mean we necessarily want to get the journey over as quickly as possible. You gotta heat the oven, etc.

Talk to the fellow about topics which interest him, show interest in him and discuss your opinions with confidence. If it sounds like I'm swapping the sexes here, I'm just trying to highlight that chaps like romance as much as women (er, I postulate although they'd never admit it, they're more romantic, but that's a different topic ).

But then I've never dated a man.
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  #31  
Old 12.04.2008, 19:44
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Re: dating swiss men

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About swiss women :
You have better chances when you meet them on holiday.
But within the country you're time and effort will go unrewarded
But if you're in this country, no need to limit yourself to Swiss women. I've met some amazing Croatian women who were warm and loved to laugh. I miss my Bulgarian friend Desi, who I met here but had to move on. She is total catwalk material. But then I'm limited to flirting. Afterall, I have to be back home by 10pm.

Desi, if you're out there. I'm still here!
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  #32  
Old 12.04.2008, 19:54
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Re: dating swiss men

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Er, this is not directed at the OP, but maybe if you're dating and the guy isn't showing much interest... he's just not that interested but hanging on for the sake of company?

Oh, no, it's not that way at all! The boy emails me, texts me constantly, keeps asking me "when do you want to go out", but when I tell him what day and time I am available....then he has no idea what to do or where to take me, doesn't confirm the date, etc. And then he texts and emails me incessantly like 3 times a day (after the date finally happens), but without setting the day for the next date, just being very vague. It is very annoying.

I was hoping at first that he just wasn't interested. But given how much he writes/emails/calls (I am not usually available to take his calls, so it is two or three of his before I even manage to reply), I doubt this is the case, for who wastes so much time chasing after someone they're not interested in?

The problem is that he seems to be unable/unwilling to come up with a creative date idea. His way of "asking" for a date is to call me and say: "when do you want to meet and what do you want to do?"

Which is very boring and tiring, for most girls.
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  #33  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:02
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Re: dating swiss men

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Er, this is not directed at the OP, but maybe if you're dating and the guy isn't showing much interest... he's just not that interested but hanging on for the sake of company?

I know when I meet ladies and feel something 'spark', then the fire is only around the corner (but I'm not, er, Swiss ).

If I meet a girl and go out a few times and there's no spark, I'm not going to cut the evening off (far too well-mannered to be selfish, I like to think) but I'm sure not going to be the Last Action Hero for someone who just doesn't float my boat.

Also, overly-flirting women can be a major annoyance. Just because us chaps have a one-track mind, doesn't mean we necessarily want to get the journey over as quickly as possible. You gotta heat the oven, etc.

Talk to the fellow about topics which interest him, show interest in him and discuss your opinions with confidence. If it sounds like I'm swapping the sexes here, I'm just trying to highlight that chaps like romance as much as women (er, I postulate although they'd never admit it, they're more romantic, but that's a different topic ).

But then I've never dated a man.
Spot on (even if I did moan at you earlier).
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  #34  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:07
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Re: dating swiss men

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Which is very boring and tiring, for most girls.
Well here's one litmus test for you. If he is willing to defend you in the event you were to be sexually assaulted, he may be worth working with. If he isn't, dump him.
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  #35  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:08
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Re: dating swiss men

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Spot on (even if I did moan at you earlier).
Moan or groan?
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  #36  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:10
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Re: dating swiss men

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Well here's one litmus test for you. If he is willing to defend you in the event you were to be sexually assaulted, he may be worth working with. If he isn't, dump him.
Phos, WTF??

Be careful, cuz you're starting to sound like a doof.
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  #37  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:10
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Re: dating swiss men

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Moan or groan?
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  #38  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:11
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Re: dating swiss men

must the man drive the relationship in order for it to succeed? Maybe he's just happy sitting around with you at home?

It irks me a little that women want to be treated the same as men yet want to keep some things traditional - is this possible?
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  #39  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:12
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Re: dating swiss men

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Phos, WTF??

Be careful, cuz you're starting to sound like a doof.
Alright, I won't mess up your thread.
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  #40  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:16
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Re: dating swiss men

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Moan or groan?
Both. A trifle unfriendly of me, but I was very unhappy with the opinion...
Anyhoo, back to this train wreck...
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