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  #41  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:18
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Re: dating swiss men

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must the man drive the relationship in order for it to succeed? Maybe he's just happy sitting around with you at home?

It irks me a little that women want to be treated the same as men yet want to keep some things traditional - is this possible?
Feminism is another "-ism" excuse for naturally grumpy people to get on their high horse. My sister-in-law is a die-hard feminist, but has some exceptionally hypocritical moments. That and she's a conspiracy theory nutter...
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  #42  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:28
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Re: dating swiss men

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It irks me a little that women want to be treated the same as men yet want to keep some things traditional - is this possible?
I really don't think women want to be treated the same as men. I think they just want equal level of respect. What really turns them is to have their feelings understood. Not necessarily chugging beer in front of the TV together.
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  #43  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:30
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Re: dating swiss men

this is now in off-topic as it has lost a little direction. I actually also think it is a dangerous over-generalisation and also I feel exists partly so we know someone has a Swiss boyfriend.
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  #44  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:57
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Re: dating swiss men

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this is now in off-topic as it has lost a little direction. I actually also think it is a dangerous over-generalisation and also I feel exists partly so we know someone has a Swiss boyfriend.
I think what you think of why people post or not makes no sense whatsoever. In what freaking planet do you live on Lob?

Oh, sorry, I forgot. Must be Lob planet. Note that the thread was on-topic until you derailed with your irrelevant question "must women be treated equally as men"? which was off topic, but of course, being an administrator, it is your right to control whatever you want.

I'm not impressed, Lob. (shrug). But what else is new? You're predictable, as always.
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  #45  
Old 12.04.2008, 21:02
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Re: dating swiss men

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Note that the thread was on-topic until you derailed with your irrelevant question.
The girl's got a point.
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  #46  
Old 12.04.2008, 21:09
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Re: dating swiss men

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I think what you think of why people post or not makes no sense whatsoever. In what freaking planet do you live on Lob?

Oh, sorry, I forgot. Must be Lob planet. Note that the thread was on-topic until you derailed with your irrelevant question "must women be treated equally as men"? which was off topic, but of course, being an administrator, it is your right to control whatever you want.

I'm not impressed, Lob. (shrug). But what else is new? You're predictable, as always.
actually, my comment was aimed at the fact that you complain that the man must come with all ideas and activities - otherwise they are, as you explained in your first post, "passive".

So I think it is rather on topic.

We could have threads like this all day. "Are all blondes dumb?" "Are all Italians mobsters?"

I think you get my point.
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  #47  
Old 12.04.2008, 21:23
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Re: dating swiss men

I think she was asking for comparative experience. There were some who thanked her for asking.
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  #48  
Old 12.04.2008, 22:50
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Re: dating swiss men

Ok, I dated a swiss guy for a year and a half and bless him, he tried very hard to be romantic and creative. But that too became tiresome (Yup I know, women are complicated)

As I see it, there are worse things. So here's my tip... Ready??? TALK! Tell him you'd like him to take the lead sometimes too...

Think about how confusing it must be for men these days... they do the gentleman thing and they can get accused of wanting a housewife or being old fashioned etc etc, and heck if they let us women take the lead then they're boring... Uuufff just talk to the guy
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  #49  
Old 12.04.2008, 23:09
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Re: dating swiss men

Very good point. I've met a lot of women who seem to rate men by their psychic ability to tell what's required without being told...
Few relationships last without talking.
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  #50  
Old 12.04.2008, 23:15
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Re: dating swiss men

Dating Swiss men... Difficult, confusing, competitive, frustrating but also very rewarding. Or is that just "dating men"? My longest relationship was with a Swiss guy with his roots in Canton Uri, dad a Swissair pilot, mother a housewife who had trained as a cook. High standards were the norm, I remember washing clothes he had left at my place thinking I was being nice but got asked why they hadn't been ironed as well. Oh yes... On the other hand he would stop the car so I could go and stroke cats that I spotted.

I have to agree on the conflict-avoidance issue, after 2.5 years I threw in the towel because nothing ever changed in many areas and I'm not someone who is prepared to have the same fight more than three times, especially if the other person doesn't fight back. We've stayed friends and to be honest, considering the other blokes I have met since, I may have been a silly girl for leaving a perfectly lovely albeit a little boring bloke who would never have messed me around and made sure I had everything I could possibly want (I'm not hugely demanding when it comes to material stuff so no, I'm not a gold-digger).

But... When I met him I was about three stone lighter and that is one thing that Swiss men seem to be notorious for, unless you are slim, you get put in the "you should be happy I'm bothering with you"-corner. Germans seem to be less fixed on that first impression or rather can be charmed into liking a not-so perfect girl; dito for most other nations I've come across. Maybe it's the whole "trophy living" thing and I have to admit I'm guilty of the same crime (though decreasingly so with age and increasing sense), if someone has absolutely no dress-sense, walks like a farmer and just can't be trusted to behave in public, I'm not interested. Oh and beards. I can't STAND beards.
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  #51  
Old 12.04.2008, 23:36
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Re: dating swiss men

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So here's my tip... Ready??? TALK!
Best advice I've heard. The truth is we can't read minds. And feelings... have the time we don't think about our own. So savor the other half.
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  #52  
Old 13.04.2008, 00:43
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Re: dating swiss men

My simple answer is: why bother?

Is it like a challenge to you?

You know what they say about first impressions, that they count, so why bother?
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  #53  
Old 13.04.2008, 00:57
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Re: dating swiss men

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if someone has absolutely no dress-sense, walks like a farmer and just can't be trusted to behave in public, I'm not interested. Oh and beards. I can't STAND beards.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Not even a clean well kept Jesus beard? I guess that would be another topic.
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  #54  
Old 13.04.2008, 01:16
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Re: dating swiss men

I'm a Swiss man who is naturally passive and shy, before 3 beers that is.... HEY LAAAAADIES!
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  #55  
Old 13.04.2008, 01:33
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Re: dating swiss men

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Not even a clean well kept Jesus beard? I guess that would be another topic.
ESPECIALLY nothing that resembles topiary, even if it's 2D. Seriously do not like them, creep me out. And I really don't understand the current trend for Henry VIII beards on young men, it doesn't make you look older and demure, trust me.

This is, of course, where loads of women in defence of beards will throw virtual stones at me.

Sod's law of course makes men with beards pretty much the only ones who notice me. *sighs* I'm looking forward to old age, I've already got the arthritis and enjoy doing crosswords anyway, at least then it'll be acceptable to spend all day in a comfy chair in the company of 27 cats. I've said this before, haven't I...
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  #56  
Old 13.04.2008, 03:19
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Re: dating swiss men

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Er, this is not directed at the OP, but maybe if you're dating and the guy isn't showing much interest... he's just not that interested but hanging on for the sake of company?

I know when I meet ladies and feel something 'spark', then the fire is only around the corner (but I'm not, er, Swiss ).

If I meet a girl and go out a few times and there's no spark, I'm not going to cut the evening off (far too well-mannered to be selfish, I like to think) but I'm sure not going to be the Last Action Hero for someone who just doesn't float my boat.

Also, overly-flirting women can be a major annoyance. Just because us chaps have a one-track mind, doesn't mean we necessarily want to get the journey over as quickly as possible. You gotta heat the oven, etc.

Talk to the fellow about topics which interest him, show interest in him and discuss your opinions with confidence. If it sounds like I'm swapping the sexes here, I'm just trying to highlight that chaps like romance as much as women (er, I postulate although they'd never admit it, they're more romantic, but that's a different topic ).

But then I've never dated a man.
Are you bloody sure there U. Maxie, I find your opinions on both sides of the fence so convincing I'm awarding you a degree in Human nature and wishing you were my personal Guru. Who knows maybe I'll get a look in for a conversation with you one of these day's.

Calling Lob, I'm posting under the influence
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  #57  
Old 13.04.2008, 03:29
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Re: dating swiss men

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ESPECIALLY nothing that resembles topiary, even if it's 2D. Seriously do not like them, creep me out. And I really don't understand the current trend for Henry VIII beards on young men, it doesn't make you look older and demure, trust me.

This is, of course, where loads of women in defence of beards will throw virtual stones at me.

Sod's law of course makes men with beards pretty much the only ones who notice me. *sighs* I'm looking forward to old age, I've already got the arthritis and enjoy doing crosswords anyway, at least then it'll be acceptable to spend all day in a comfy chair in the company of 27 cats. I've said this before, haven't I...
Kittster there is nothing wrong with preferences, my man has had a beard since I met him. It's been short, long ,styled hell that beard tells me more about how peed off he is with me than he does. If I see your name on a party list I shall keep him at home, I don't mess with sod,s or Murphy's law!
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  #58  
Old 13.04.2008, 03:32
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Re: dating swiss men

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have you found, when dating swiss men, that they are a bit...passive?
I had a chat with my cousin Quentin about this, and he told me that he prefers his Swiss men to be passive.

Unfortunately, despite the offer of a Pimms and lemonade with extra strawberries and cucumber, he refused to be drawn further on this topic, so I am unable to explain what he meant by his comment.

Sorry about that. You may continue about your business...
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  #59  
Old 13.04.2008, 12:28
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Re: dating swiss men

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... a degree in Human nature ...
Work out the motivation, you'll be 90% close to knowing the subsequent behaviour*

"How to get ahead in advertising..."


* It's the unknown 10% which makes dating fun ;-)
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  #60  
Old 13.04.2008, 13:03
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Re: dating swiss men

He sounds like one of those guys who likes women to take charge of things and make all the plans. But I see that as a red flag, because it would appear that he hasn't quite grown up/matured yet, can't make his own decisions and wants a mother figure rather than a girlfriend. I'm sure that's not what you want.

Unless someone is a micro-managing control freak, it is normal in a relationship/marriage for men to leave the plans for some aspects/events to women. My husband usually leaves all the domestic and social arrangements to me, but we always discuss/agree beforehand and make joint decisions on everything else.

A relationship is built on the givings of two. If he can't make more of an effort, then maybe you should start dating other people.

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Oh, no, it's not that way at all! The boy emails me, texts me constantly, keeps asking me "when do you want to go out", but when I tell him what day and time I am available....then he has no idea what to do or where to take me, doesn't confirm the date, etc. And then he texts and emails me incessantly like 3 times a day (after the date finally happens), but without setting the day for the next date, just being very vague. It is very annoying.

I was hoping at first that he just wasn't interested. But given how much he writes/emails/calls (I am not usually available to take his calls, so it is two or three of his before I even manage to reply), I doubt this is the case, for who wastes so much time chasing after someone they're not interested in?

The problem is that he seems to be unable/unwilling to come up with a creative date idea. His way of "asking" for a date is to call me and say: "when do you want to meet and what do you want to do?"

Which is very boring and tiring, for most girls.
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