So, for you girls out there, is it just me, or have you found, when dating swiss men, that they are a bit...passive?

Like, I find myself always having to suggest date ideas and make the plans, because the guys I date here seem to think that "chivalry" means letting the girl call all the shots.

Is it cultural, or is it just that the guys I happen to meet are a bit..."too nice" (not to say...boring)?

Thoughts welcome.

(Also, has anyone found that swiss guys seem to be totally surprised when you smile or flirt with them? I mean innocent flirting, etc, but if you touch them on the arm or something they look at your hand wide-eyed like they've never been touched on the arm before??)

Reminds me of a joke I once heard.

Q "What do you call a Romeo in Switzerland"

A "auslander"

DC

Swiss men are on the shy side..you've got to make the first move
once you sense your date is interested..that's just how it is..kind of
cute though.

But if the Swiss women are equally passive (as bemoaned in the other thread), then how do they meet at all?
I'll guess that, somehow, the answer involves the phrase 'it varies from canton to canton...'

that has certainly not been my experience with my swiss BF. he is fairly a take charge kinda guy

I find with the Swiss girls that they do not flirt so much,
and they have an extremely tough external. For me, it
took a very long to find out whether there was actually
a heart inside.

Once the ice was broken, it was just like any other
relationship.

I heard that it's has got something to do with the region or cantons in Switzerland for that matter: in German swiss region people are more bored due to the weather which makes them more cold towards each other and ''alles ins Ordnung'' we live like robots... on the contrary towards Geneva, Laussane and Ticino people are more latino orientated thus warmer towards each other in relations representing so called ''macho culture''.

When I came first time from South Africa with my girlfriend we saw significant differences in interpersonal contacts. Initially it was mind boggling for us but after reading the book "Beyond chocolate understanding the Swiss culture" it has opened up our horizons.

Perhaps with time you will notice drastic differences how e.g. people greet each other (male-male hand shake, kisses in the cheeks people who know each other since long and etc.). I guess it takes a bit of efforts from us expats to break ice between our hosts. But I can assure you when you know them well and they feel confident with you... you can secure long lasting friendship and all the same relationship

Sometimes conservative approach is more meaningful and taking it one step a the time (famous Schritt für Schritt) can be more valuable in the long run than.. e.g. too quick get together ending up with to excuse my language "one night stand".

Time cherishes solid bond between two lovers

Yep it can take a while to "break em in" err break through

I bet he's spent time in the Ausland, or is outward looking.

Either that, or are YOU Swiss?

Is it really shyness or stiffness?

nope mine is born and bred in basel. father is german and his mother is 1/2 swiss & 1/2 german. he has never lived outside of switzerland.
and i am american.

Then good catch!

Phos, it's not like you to be presumptuous

BUT he loves to travel and is very open minded

You know Oldhand, all this time I thought you were an old man.

Please note it was a question asked.

Also notice, her handle is StaceySWISS.

Aha! He's outward looking. See!

yes he is BUT he LOVES good ole die Schweiz!

Well so do I. I just don't like narrow thinking.

Please note this ad from Switzerland Tourism on their campaign "for women only" advertising their men!!!!

I have to say, I find (ok, not all, but a few) Swiss men tremendously hot, which makes it a shame that they are indeed, very passive!

Hey, paulita!

Loved the video.

My swiss boy is also a cutie, very hot, but....as you say, they don't make the move or they take an "I'll do whatever you say" kind of attitude. Romance killer, that. A girl likes to be swept off her feet, you know. :P

Oh well. Live and learn I guess.

(sigh)