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  #41  
Old 02.01.2017, 11:45
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

Your tolerance level is probably affected too by the reasons other people have for their foibles. If you know there's a medical reason, you'll accept it easier & make an effort for guests. If on the other hand it's (no names mentioned) who will talk endlessly about her supposed diabetes, cholesterol, weight & gluten intolerance then eat a huge pile of pasta, half a cake & anything else that is put on the table, you kind of lose patience to put it politely. You can dance around with special preparations till the cows come home but if it's old ladies whingeing with no actual medical issue or if there is a medical issue the person totally ignores everything the doctor says & goes the other way, it puts you off making any concessions.
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  #42  
Old 02.01.2017, 11:48
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

I would just start each sentence with

'as a coeliac..'

you know you want to
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  #43  
Old 02.01.2017, 11:58
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

Just like Beetlejuice!
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  #44  
Old 02.01.2017, 11:58
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

This thread needs a poll.

Tom
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  #45  
Old 02.01.2017, 11:59
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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We no longer do dinner parties- but serve simple but as delicious as possible meals without fancy or fuss.
It doesn't have to be a dinner party ( who does those these days anyway?) but a simple lunch of soup and bread could be fraught with difficulties if there are (unknown) allergies or intolerances involved.

People who come for a meal will usually offer to bring a dessert or starter along with them which is always welcome.


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Most friends and relatives come for 1 week or more - and this is my house rule- we all contribute and muck in- everyone brings their favourite recipes and we share- it works really well. We generally work on a 1 - 2 - 3 basis. We cook one day, they cook the next, go out the 3rd day- and again, more or less- depending on weather and other factors.
That's very different from a one off invitation to lunch or dinner, though.

I have to say that your system would drive me up the wall. I couldn't be doing with having people taking over the kitchen and cooking a meal there. To me it would be harder work and much more stressful than actually doing it myself.

Our guests always do their bit and help out but not by cooking a meal.

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I would just start each sentence with

'as a coeliac'

you know you want to
Which is not very helpful if you are actually lactose intolerant or have a seafood allergy.
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  #46  
Old 02.01.2017, 12:00
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

Chips bolognese sounds awesome, and even I could manage that.

I'd likely still serve bread and wine, but ask what your preferred alternatives are beforehand.

You're welcome for dinner anytime, DB.

I even invited a vegetarian once.
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  #47  
Old 02.01.2017, 12:18
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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My question is one of etiquette: as a host, would you be more offended by being presented with a list of dietary prohibitions, or by simply being turned down?
If I felt offended it wouldn't be by the refusal itself but rather by the tone, a No without explanation, assuming that's what you have in mind. A friendly offer deserves better.

With explanation I'd probably be disappointed, feel pushed back: friends probably have at least an idea that there may be issues. If you think the other doesn't know what s/he's getting himself into you could always open with leaning towards a No while explaining why ("you have no idea what you're getting yourself into because ...." or similar). That way you'd give the other an easy way out while informing them what to expect and let them decide.

Personally I have very limited experience with dietary restrictions so perhaps I'd suggest a different route, could even be something trivial like tea instead, dunno. However, by refusing outright you deny the other that opportunity; in a way one could even say that you're making their minds up for them.
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  #48  
Old 02.01.2017, 12:45
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

I usually ask people if they have a particular kind or group of food they totally hate or just can't eat for medical reasons. My brother used to be a fussy eater so nothing can surprise me anymore (then he got married..lol). Some people hate fish, others lamb meat, some don't eat meat at all, some don't drink wine but would have a glass of beer, or just water...I just ask. Who would be offended, really? And yes, usually OH and I go out of our way to make people have a good time in our home...as noticed by our guests too. I like having guests...and in all fairness most of them were quite all right with everything we offered.
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  #49  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:18
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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I would just start each sentence with
'as a coeliac..'you know you want to
So you are from Wales then, cariad?
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  #50  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:21
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

Isn't wonderful that we are all different BM? Depends on your kitchen and set up too- we have a big farm dining-kitchen which is the hub of the house- we can sit and talk whilst someone is cooking- and a second kitchen close-by where we do all the 'messy' stuff- and people go from one to 'other, with a drink in hand - and it is massive fun. Of course, not for single meal, but for long term stays.

Just had a friend of one daughter staying with her son for a week- it worked perfectly, we both learnt from each other- hurrah. But I can see totally how it would not work for everyone.

Back to OP- if I had numerous food issues- I think this is what I would say when invited: 'thank you so much- but I really would not impose my food restrictions on anyone as it is a total pain' and see the reaction. If the person says 'no worries, just tell us what's what and we will happily provide accordingly (which would be my reply) - it will be a pleasure. Then say 'yes- we are really looking forward to it'. If they cringe and say 'oh ok, what shame but ...' then don't go.
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  #51  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:34
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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I would have thought "Benichon" is more likely, depends i guess a little on when and where it was
Bénichon, is NOT the "celebration of pork" it is more or of a Thanksgivingfeast originating in Ct.Fribourg. And the menu there consnist of a wide variety of stuff, and most importanly the Cuchaule ( a saffron coloured an flavoured bread) and Moutarde de Bénichon belong to it.

Where as Cochonaille, the feast of the pork or METZGETE in Swissgerman, which is comparable. Originating in Canton Jura it is celebrated down the Jura Arc to Geneva and further afield nowadays.
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  #52  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:38
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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I couldn't be doing with having people taking over the kitchen and cooking a meal there.
When people invite me for a meal, they know and expect just that.

Tom
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  #53  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:45
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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When people invite me for a meal, they know and expect just that.

Tom
Lucky for me that you're not invited here then.
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  #54  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:53
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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When people invite me for a meal, they know and expect just that.

Tom
Considering I rarely invite people to my place as I hate cooking, I might invite you for dinner then

Last edited by Mélusine; 02.01.2017 at 13:53. Reason: Awful typo
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Old 02.01.2017, 13:54
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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I hate cocking
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Old 02.01.2017, 13:55
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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Damn you're r fast, I corrected my typo barely a second after posting it!
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  #57  
Old 02.01.2017, 13:55
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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Damn you're r fast, I corrected my typo barely a second after posting it!
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  #58  
Old 02.01.2017, 14:04
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

We went for fondue with our guests to a mountain inn yesterday afternoon after our big walk by a lake and another in the woods - and we asked to be served potatoes instead of bread for her- as she is gluten intolerant.

This 1 - 2 - 3 formula is known to all our friends and family- and judging by the number of visitors we have throughout the year- it is very popular - hurrah. This is a big house for sharing - kitchen and all.
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  #59  
Old 02.01.2017, 14:20
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

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This 1 - 2 - 3 formula is known to all our friends and family- and judging by the number of visitors we have throughout the year- it is very popular .
We all choose what works for us and that obviously works for you ( and your visitors) which is great.
For us it would be a nightmare so we do things differently and it has nothing to do with the size of the house or kitchen.
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  #60  
Old 02.01.2017, 14:46
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Re: Dietary restrictions and dinner invitations

Having people dirty two kitchens would really make me grumpy.
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