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  #41  
Old 12.03.2017, 13:18
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Another odd thing I have noticed about some couples over the years is how women refuse to leave men, kids for any length of time on their own cos the men folk can't cook, will not cope/manage - bollox..
Lots of relationships cross the line from interdependency to addiction.

One thing that has struck me more than once is that when I talk to married elderly men I often hear an echo of how terrified they are at not being the first to "go", even the ones that wouldn't be doomed to a Porkchop and a can of beans 7x a week.
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  #42  
Old 12.03.2017, 13:40
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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One thing that has struck me more than once is that when I talk to married elderly men I often hear an echo of how terrified they are at not being the first to "go", even the ones that wouldn't be doomed to a Porkchop and a can of beans 7x a week.
I don't see that as interdependency. I see that as many older husbands see their wife as the gel that gives their life added cohesion. It may just be in the form of a little nudge to call someone, organising a family get together, booking a holiday, buying them clothes that really suit them instead of "just fit", etc... It's a whole host of little things that many older men might not think to do for themselves that give their lives 'colour'.
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  #43  
Old 12.03.2017, 13:54
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

Guys? They are the best. (I keep telling them.)

Although, they could make less noise at the gym. I notice that again, today.

I wonder if that makes the "competition" feel worthier

Last edited by MusicChick; 12.03.2017 at 13:57. Reason: added quotation marks..just in case the facetiousness wouldn't be obvious
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  #44  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:07
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Still in weekly contact with the guys I went to college with back in the early 80's. Shared a house with 3 men. Been on quite a few weekends away where I was the only girl. It got a mention in my divorce papers that I went on holiday with 8 men. I've even been on a stag do (second party, not the main weekend do). I like men.
Get it. I just seem to be in some transitional stage where my next dreams only include:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/new...rous-fart.html
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  #45  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:13
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Right... Swiss men only have this one single joke, so whenever the feel the need for a chuckle they're forced to trot out this misogynistic one.

Funny how a woman finds it ok to escalate distaste to violence though...
Agree.

This would desrve another thread though.
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  #46  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:17
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I don't see that as interdependency. I see that as many older husbands see their wife as the gel that gives their life added cohesion. It may just be in the form of a little nudge to call someone, organising a family get together, booking a holiday, buying them clothes that really suit them instead of "just fit", etc... It's a whole host of little things that many older men might not think to do for themselves that give their lives 'colour'.
I'm not so sure. Think it's deep conditioning that keeps us tied into role expectations and limits our understanding - not just of ourselves but also of each other. It's the reason why feminism talk brings about subjective nonsensical illogical arguments from some males, who, btw, are certainly not prone to doing so in other arguments. It's as if feminism threatens the core, their deep conditioning and they fear being left out in the cold. Same is true of females who use feminism as a tool to surreptitiously allow themselves to be dependent on men but state the opposite. Very confusing.. this is why no one really understands who is saying what in these threads, so much is inferred, misunderstood and regularly read with bias.. and then there's the trolls of course.

Think I might go back to bed.
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  #47  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:21
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I don't see that as interdependency. I see that as many older husbands see their wife as the gel that gives their life added cohesion. It may just be in the form of a little nudge to call someone, organising a family get together, booking a holiday, buying them clothes that really suit them instead of "just fit", etc... It's a whole host of little things that many older men might not think to do for themselves that give their lives 'colour'.
Yeah, but you two are the dream team, not the rule
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  #48  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:26
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Is it the only thing they do? No. Are there any recorded instances of women telling sexist jokes?
JW, I love you to pieces, but you obviously missed a thread which included:



Attachment 123391

Last edited by ZuriRollt; 09.12.2017 at 14:23.
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  #49  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:30
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I don't see that as interdependency. I see that as many older husbands see their wife as the gel that gives their life added cohesion. It may just be in the form of a little nudge to call someone, organising a family get together, booking a holiday, buying them clothes that really suit them instead of "just fit", etc... It's a whole host of little things that many older men might not think to do for themselves that give their lives 'colour'.
Hmn...

I would submit that in a successful relationship each sees the other as their complement, and that when it works, a third entity appears: "Us". It's easy to lose track of one or more of the three parties in a relationship, particularly when one feels that the other(s) aren't pulling their weight.

Progress along the "Shag one, bag one, nag one" line isn't always synchronous, or even equal. If you can love the other for their weaknesses, particularly when you're mad at them, then you're ahead of the game.

When I went with mum to pick up dad's ashes after the cremation I asked where she wanted him. She said "On the shelf in the hall cupboard, but put him on his side, and tell him to clean up his mess while he's in there." This is typical of my parent's marriage: Mum's given him something useful to do, and he gets to see her every time she goes out, but I'm sure he frets that he's not there to help her put her coat on.

But then again... the line they followed was "Bag one, shag one, nag one", so it was a different era.
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  #50  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:39
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Another odd thing I have noticed about some couples over the years is how women refuse to leave men, kids for any length of time on their own cos the men folk can't cook, will not cope/manage - bollox.. and men won't allow women to paint a garden fence, sand down a wall, fill the water wash levels in the car etc. - bollox again. Some genders automatically seek to disempower and insult the other's ability and, with a flutter of the eyelids or a deep chuckle, the projected weakened role is accepted and the conditioning complete. I just don't get it..

Once at the school gate I witnessed a Mum in floods of tears with a clutter of other females around her soothing her because her hubby had to go away for a 2 week work stint, she hated to be on her own.. I genuinely thought someone had died.

Clearly, I shouldn't leave the house; the world confuses me

Sounds terrible.

This thread definitely confirms my strategy of communicating I'm gay is the right approach. My Swiss ex (who still struggles with issues which include abuse towards women) is still pissed-off after nearly 20 years that he never got a front-seat ticket, but our daughter is great .

Last edited by ZuriRollt; 12.03.2017 at 14:51.
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  #51  
Old 12.03.2017, 14:42
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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JW, I love you to pieces, but you obviously missed a thread which included:



Attachment 123391
I see memes like this all the time on Facebook and elsewhere. I have also often heard similar comments from women in real life. In fact, I blocked someone on FB only yesterday for making a comment about mutilating men's genitals.

I've always found it a curious thing how comments and jokes about violence directed towards men are considered socially acceptable, especially given that similar comments about women are no longer considered so.
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  #52  
Old 12.03.2017, 15:01
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I see memes like this all the time on Facebook and elsewhere. I have also often heard similar comments from women in real life. In fact, I blocked someone on FB only yesterday for making a comment about mutilating men's genitals.

I've always found it a curious thing how comments and jokes about violence directed towards men are considered socially acceptable, especially given that similar comments about women are no longer considered so.
Absolutely agree. My Dad would otherwise still be alive today.
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  #53  
Old 12.03.2017, 15:28
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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Think it's deep conditioning that keeps us tied into role expectations and limits our understanding - not just of ourselves but also of each other.
The role model my parents gave me was to play to your strengths and work on / or accept your weaknesses. My dad was a car mechanic and my mum did the books and banking. But when it came to writing a letter, my dad knew exactly what he wanted to say and had beautiful handwriting, but he was rubbish at spelling, so they always collaborated on letters.

With my OH, we can both work on a car, but he has more knowledge and experience than I do because he also owned a garage/service station. We can both cook, but I'm better at pasta, curry and chilli whilst he makes amazing pizzas and omelettes. I look after all our travel arrangements and he looks after anything IT related, but using the chainsaw is my job alone. I enjoy it and he doesn't.

This is what you get when two fiercely independent people meet later in life. Traditional roles no longer apply, and with many couple not marrying until their 30's now, if feel it won't be more than two generations before traditional roles have diminished.

There will always be sexists in this World, but sexism is just as valid if it's against any gender. The only decision we need to make for ourselves, is will we tolerate it or bite back. Hopefully, the children being born today will look back on sexism in the same way that I look back on feminism.
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  #54  
Old 12.03.2017, 15:30
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

Talking about ca. 50% of the population as if it were one person? Interesting phenomena which seems to stick like glue, no matter how "educated" the population becomes. It sure would be easier to talk about Argiopes as they do tend not to be individual.

RufusB - from you?

I met some real male arse*** in my life. Only a few but those were absolutely useless, no clue of their jobs, no ability for logical thinking, no understanding of coherencies, no practical sense, no drive ..... yep, that was in my jobs as otherwise I wouldn't have talked to them more than once. Point here: All the above was not because they were male, it was because of who they were.

The males I have in my life (which is about 95% of my enviroment) are I'd say great fun, have vast knowledge, are interested in numerous things so never get boring to talk to, have a great humour, are considerate und caring, generous with helping may it be hands-on or with information, share their knowledge and ask for mine, discussions with them lead to knew insight on both sides instead of an argument who's right or wrong (even though sometimes one is which only gives the "wrong" one a chance to make some changes).
Same point here: That's probably not because they are male but because of who they are.

DB is right, I've not heard guys - and often being "one of the lads" when in a group I surely would - talk as nasty, brutal and aggressively about woman as some woman seem to think it's okay to talk about guys.

PMS is a myth. (I know, I'm a woman, never suffered from anything remotely like it). Not sure who invented it; Woman who want an excuse for being moody, inconsiderate, bitchy and uncontrolled or guys who would rather use that excuse 24/30 than admit to themselves that they're with the wrong woman. Interesting enough it seems to be the British guys who seriously mention it - usually with a resigned sigh - I have not heard this from any other nationalities. (So only British woman PMS? Well, I wouldn't be able to know that so who knows? I'll let them get away with it if they insist, so no need for red pebbles from British woman )

So, looking at my choice of friends, mates and people I like to work with, my experience with them ..... is it coincidence most of them are male as I like to think?

Maybe not .... who knows. LOL.
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  #55  
Old 12.03.2017, 15:36
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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PMS is a myth. (I know, I'm a woman, never suffered from anything remotely like it). Not sure who invented it; Woman who want an excuse for being moody, inconsiderate, bitchy and uncontrolled or guys who would rather use that excuse 24/30 than admit to themselves that they're with the wrong woman.
So I've been imagining it for 41yrs?
Thankfully, I've been able to recognise it for the last 30yrs and able to rationalise my thinking to incorporate that factor.

Edit: I used to save trimming the hedges in my garden for when I had PMS. Got the job done in half the time. but I never use my chainsaw at that time.
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Old 12.03.2017, 15:48
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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So I've been imagining it for 41yrs?
Thankfully, I've been able to recognise it for the last 30yrs and able to rationalise my thinking to incorporate that factor.
I spent my teenage years in agony. Thankfully school teachers were kind enough, and liked me enough, to let me out of class and walk. The best thing of course was to lie down and raise my legs up higher than my head. Later as a student, I worked in a pub on weekends and on dead Sunday afternoons on period days I was often to be found sprawled across the pub seats with my legs thrown over the backs

Period pain is rotten. No joke. Praying my daughter doesn't get it like I have it. My sister, similar to curly, never had a bother.

They don't call it the curse for nothing. Roll on menopause.
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  #57  
Old 12.03.2017, 15:49
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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They don't call it the curse for nothing. Roll on menopause.
Oh no no no, you don´t want that either!!
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Old 12.03.2017, 16:10
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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PMS is a myth. (I know, I'm a woman, never suffered from anything remotely like it). Not sure who invented it; Woman who want an excuse for being moody, inconsiderate, bitchy and uncontrolled or guys who would rather use that excuse 24/30 than admit to themselves that they're with the wrong woman. Interesting enough it seems to be the British guys who seriously mention it - usually with a resigned sigh - I have not heard this from any other nationalities. (So only British woman PMS? Well, I wouldn't be able to know that so who knows? I'll let them get away with it if they insist, so no need for red pebbles from British woman )


PMS is quite real. It happens in the US as well. Perhaps the women you know don't feel like discussing it with you. Forty years of nausea, vomiting and pain were not manufactured to satisfy a cultural need on my part. My revenge however, was a fairly trouble free menopause.
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Old 12.03.2017, 16:28
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I forgot impatient and demanding in the list above.

Fixed it now.
It's like you know me... but I can also cook and stuff
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Old 12.03.2017, 16:28
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Re: Fellas. Discuss.

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I spent my teenage years in agony. Thankfully school teachers were kind enough, and liked me enough, to let me out of class and walk. The best thing of course was to lie down and raise my legs up higher than my head. Later as a student, I worked in a pub on weekends and on dead Sunday afternoons on period days I was often to be found sprawled across the pub seats with my legs thrown over the backs

Period pain is rotten. No joke. Praying my daughter doesn't get it like I have it. My sister, similar to curly, never had a bother.

They don't call it the curse for nothing. Roll on menopause.
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PMS is quite real. It happens in the US as well. Perhaps the women you know don't feel like discussing it with you. Forty years of nausea, vomiting and pain were not manufactured to satisfy a cultural need on my part. My revenge however, was a fairly trouble free menopause.
Hang on, Ladies! I did not talk about the pains etc. We all went through that, me only as a teen-ager, some all their lives.
I was talking about excusing moodiness (which very often doesn't happen at the time people claim to be the cause
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