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Old 29.03.2017, 08:43
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Swiss Pod retirement village

Subscriptions will soon be open for the Swiss Pod retirement village. Each pod will have solar power, toilet & shower, kitchenette plus a vegetable plot. Covered by basic health insurance – nurse Patsy will read your file 4 times a day to charge tarmed points in your absence. Doctor Clooney will be available for pod calls or treatment in the health caravan or to bring you coffee…. what else. Daily food trucks will be organized & McTavge will yodel every Sunday for our residents pleasure. Age restrictions 50+. Recycling is obligatory in the appropriate bins using the correct bag. No noise after 10pm or before 7am apart from snoring & discreet emissions of wind. Should you be interested please send your subscription fee via bank transfer to Neddys secret offshore bank account in the Bahamas.
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Old 29.03.2017, 08:46
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Re: Swiss Pod retirement village

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Neddys secret offshore bank account in the Bahamas.
What offshore bank account? I've never heard of the Bahamas - are they some sort of Brazilian nightwear??
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Old 29.03.2017, 09:15
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Re: Swiss Pod retirement village

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What offshore bank account? I've never heard of the Bahamas - are they some sort of Brazilian nightwear??
Almost. Pyjamas with little caravans on which can be bought at any local Sainsburys.

***
The subscription fees are as follows: Those working in the banking or finance sectors… chf 100,000 per person
Estate agents… 50,000 per person
Those who can lend a hand repairing resident’s cars, mobility scooters or skateboards… 1 tool set & a bicycle repair kit
Those who can help rinse out smalls & get animal hair out of the communal washing machine … I pack of washing powder, 1 bottle of stain remover (extra strong) & a sticky roller
Those who wish to lend a hand gardening in the communal vegetable area… 20 packets of seed & a spade
Health care providers (cutting toe nails in particular)… one pair of sharp scissors, a nail file & a bowl
Those who help teach the residents to knit or crochet… 20 balls of wool & a few hooks/needles
All other subscription requests will be reviewed on an individual basis.
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