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Old 11.01.2019, 16:14
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Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

Just saw something today that was about ghosting. If you're not familiar with ghosting here's the definition :

"the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without
explanation withdrawing from all communication. "

It's quite different than say, telling someone the relationship is over and the person not listening, and then contact is cut off. Ghosting is abruptly stopping all communication.

I'm curious, what are your thoughts ? Seems to be becoming more and more common.

I think there are situations when it's appropriate.
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:18
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

Ghosting is for cowards.

No more, no less.
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:27
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

What about in a situation such as an abusive relationship ? In such a circumstance, I honestly think ghosting is fine, and in fact it could save a person's life.
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:36
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

I don't quite understand it.. At what point does one become ghosted or be the ghoster?

My wife and her circle of friends are in constant communication, they see each other during the day and have electronic groups to stay in touch, multiple groups in fact with some in this group and some in the other, some cross over, some not... People are offended if they are not included, or if somebody is, or somebody thinks the wrong thing or if somebody doesn't reply in 30 mins they must be ghosted.

Me - I see friends whenever, we have a beer, no communication for ages, no further contact until next beer.
When we txt each other it's like : Pub?
Yeah - See ye there.

So from my experience.. I wouldn't even know if somebody ghosted me
Edit : Let alone care
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:42
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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What about in a situation such as an abusive relationship ? In such a circumstance, I honestly think ghosting is fine, and in fact it could save a person's life.
Think we should not mistake having to flee with choosing to ghost without being forced to do so.
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:46
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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I don't quite understand it.. At what point does one become ghosted or be the ghoster?
...if somebody doesn't reply in 30 mins they must be ghosted.
lol

I'm wondering too. At what point is someone ghosted ? I mean the ghoster knows, but how would the ghostee know ?

I read a comment where this woman said her boyfriend left and never came back. He had moved to France, and didn't say a thing to anyone. Then, a couple years later he calls her out of the blue and asks how she's doing.

Was she ghosted ? Technically he called back , lol. Obviously what happened to her is awful, but why not just say he left ?
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:47
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

If they stop texting back you need to assume they've died and move on. If you see them out just smile because you ain't afraid of no ghost
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Old 11.01.2019, 16:54
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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Think we should not mistake having to flee with choosing to ghost without being forced to do so.
True, however, the dictionary definition of ghosting is

"the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without
explanation withdrawing from all communication."

You could ghost and flee. Fleeing is not necessarily only used in dangerous situations. It just means 'run away' .
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:07
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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True, however, the dictionary definition of ghosting is

"the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without
explanation withdrawing from all communication."

You could ghost and flee. Fleeing is not necessarily only used in dangerous situations. It just means 'run away' .
Well than you've answered your own question imho.

Ghosting can be o.k.

Unless you think that somebody who gets beaten up everyday must take up contact about why he/she left, personally I'd say **** that.
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:13
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

well if I don't want anything to do with someone what's the point in telling them? its like an internet flounce.

If that person really gave a toss and knew me well enough to care then they would turn up at my house rather then send emails and moan about it on a forum
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:26
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

Ghosting is ignoring an other person completely over night, maybe block that person on the handy/whatsapp what ever. Refusing to answer any approach of the person ghosted.

It's pretty harsh - I guess. In fact, I find it rather nasty, when I see what it does to some people who complain about it. I've not been ghosted yet (or like John H. didn't notice it, LOL).
It seems to be a thing though. And I guess it's a sign of the times. And I can imagine it can be very hard on teen-agers when it happens to them.

On the other hand (also referring to John H.'s post) this constant sms-ing, having to reply to every nonsense people write, definitely promotes ghosting at some point.
Which is why my handy-no. is not for everybody plus my friends know that chances are good I left the house, leaving the handy at home
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:26
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

Imho, ghosting is a cowardish thing and a cowards way out. It is not easy to speak ones mind to other people and explain an upset or some such thing.

But, I for one feel better and honest, to voice whatever it is to the people (singular or plural) concerned and directly, either by writing or speaking to them.

And if I decide then, to break off all contact, those on the other side know why I did so.

I might not have a trillion of friends due to that, because there are people who don't like frankness or such honesty, but the ones that are in my life now, whether virtual or IRL, are friends for life.

If I am ghosted by someone, then it is their loss not mine, sounds very arrogant, I know, I had to live and learn for over half of a century to realise that.
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:34
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

you see that's exactly whats wrong with these snowflakes, omg xxx is ghosting me, I''ve texted, whatsapp'ed, messaged, facebooked etc etc etc

If they really gave a shit they would actually go and ask the person whats up face to face, but they don't so they haven't. They care enough to post it up on instagram to get a bit of internet sympathy.

Its a very modern non-issue problem, get over it.
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:36
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

ghosting is way too common in dating now
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Old 11.01.2019, 17:59
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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What about in a situation such as an abusive relationship ? In such a circumstance, I honestly think ghosting is fine, and in fact it could save a person's life.

You have answered your own question. In that situation, it is more complicated than just ghosting, the person needs to hide themselves from Social media and other areas in their life,
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Old 11.01.2019, 18:38
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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I can imagine it can be very hard on teen-agers when it happens to them.
Oh gosh, I remember being a teenager, and yeah that probably would have really hurt. Uhg, the things these poor kids have to deal with now. I was really looking at it more from an adult perspective.

Sometimes I think people are too quick to say they've been ghosted, as BigBlue mentioned, attention seeking.

Don't get me wrong, though, if someone's been ghosted they should feel free to discuss at length, but somehow I think a lot of these people would still be complaining even if the other person broke things off in a more good mannered way.
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Old 11.01.2019, 18:48
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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Oh gosh, I remember being a teenager, and yeah that probably would have really hurt. Uhg, the things these poor kids have to deal with now. I was really looking at it more from an adult perspective.

Sometimes I think people are too quick to say they've been ghosted, as BigBlue mentioned, attention seeking.

Don't get me wrong, though, if someone's been ghosted they should feel free to discuss at length, but somehow I think a lot of these people would still be complaining even if the other person broke things off in a more good mannered way.
That's the other thing these days: People "brag"/complain in public they've been ghosted?

Back in them old days - ignoring is not a new thing - people would wonder about themselves first.
And if not that at least we didn't have the impression that every living creature is obliged to pay full attention to us.
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Old 11.01.2019, 18:54
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

Based on the definition I'd say the practice is rather cowardly and vile. Without explanation is just shitty.
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Old 11.01.2019, 19:00
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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Based on the definition I'd say the practice is rather cowardly and vile. Without explanation is just shitty.
EF has an ignore button. I think troubleawesome is the only one who tells each and everyone when he puts them on his ignore-list.
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Old 11.01.2019, 19:05
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Re: Ghosting - is it ever okay ?

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EF has an ignore button. I think troubleawesome is the only one who tells each and everyone when he puts them on his ignore-list.
Oh are we talking only social media? Social media doesn't count, does ut? I was thinking real life. ,
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