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  #281  
Old 04.08.2020, 12:35
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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He's actually not. I often disagree with him, he disagrees even more often with me, but a stalker he aint'. He's just genuinely testing the borders of what is trolling and challenging. Grow some thicker epidermis
So somebody who would like to be a troll, but lacks the cojones? Explains a lot, thank you for the honest assessment, makes sense now.
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  #282  
Old 04.08.2020, 12:35
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Tom, I will ask you this politely once.
And the next time?

But seriously, you were the one belittling other people's language skills ealier whilst elevating your own.

You're benefiting from my posts so look on it positively. There's a saying which goes something like this:

"Every pan has a silver lining..."
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  #283  
Old 04.08.2020, 12:37
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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And the next time?

But seriously, you were the one belittling other people's language skills ealier whilst elevating your own.

You're benefiting from my posts so look on it positively. There's a saying which goes something like this:

"Every pan has a silver lining..."
Again, just because you do not understand something or cannot afford it, it is not belittling you. Not everything is about you - your belittlement is a by(hyphen!)-product of whatever else is going on, and never my motivation.
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  #284  
Old 04.08.2020, 12:47
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Again, just because you do not understand something or cannot afford it, it is not belittling you. Not everything is about you - your belittlement is a by(hyphen!)-product of whatever else is going on, and never my motivation.
It's not working. Your recent posts are neither articulated properly, nor entertaining. Cook something, get the stress elsewhere.
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  #285  
Old 04.08.2020, 12:55
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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It's not working.
Something we all have in common on here, I suspect.
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  #286  
Old 04.08.2020, 14:38
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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......I don't have an oratory talent, can't express myself in the words that will make you think differently...
It's largely a myth that minds are changed significantly by powerful oration. Usually, people lionise speakers for saying things that they already believed in but hadn't had the ability to express in quite the same way.

Or that interesting (e.g. Ted) speakers educate us on topics we'd never known much about, or that help us to think of familiar subjects in a new way.

It's quite rare IMO for people to have their views on passionate topics like politics and religion, significantly changed from (as it were) black to white. More like greyish to white.
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  #287  
Old 04.08.2020, 15:29
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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I cannot agree with you more! From my perspective, a few of the members that left are exactly the people who were using "cheap ad hominem". I personally, see it less and less.
Agreed, seems to be a lot less negativity and sniping lately.
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  #288  
Old 04.08.2020, 15:34
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Agreed, seems to be a lot less negativity and sniping lately.
Now that I have not yet seen
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  #289  
Old 04.08.2020, 16:16
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Agreed, seems to be a lot less negativity and sniping lately.
I don’t know where you’ve been looking but I haven’t seen any evidence of that.
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  #290  
Old 04.08.2020, 16:34
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

I agree with Roegner and Belgianmum; the tone of the forum is increasingly negative. The forum is a far cry from the helpful community it was set up to be and indeed once was.

Sadly, several prolific posters seem to revel in being as unhelpful - often downright mean-spirited - as possible. They may be doing it for the lulz, but these have managed to set the tone for the entire forum. The old EF - a place where a 'stranger in a strange land' could find welcome - is long gone.

All good things have to come to an end, I suppose.
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  #291  
Old 04.08.2020, 17:55
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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I agree with Roegner and Belgianmum; the tone of the forum is increasingly negative. The forum is a far cry from the helpful community it was set up to be and indeed once was.

Sadly, several prolific posters seem to revel in being as unhelpful - often downright mean-spirited - as possible. They may be doing it for the lulz, but these have managed to set the tone for the entire forum. The old EF - a place where a 'stranger in a strange land' could find welcome - is long gone.

All good things have to come to an end, I suppose.
In my opinion, I'm not quite sure if that's correct. Newcomers are still posting questions and posters are still answering them, which is what this forum is all about. Personally, I'd ban a few current posters who seem to hog up the forums with their constant need to project and be the focus of attention but otherwise, I still find this an entertaining place to communicate on an anonymous basis.


By the way, Meloncollie, your advice on pets, etc., is incredible. You're a real asset to EF.
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  #292  
Old 04.08.2020, 22:42
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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I agree with Roegner and Belgianmum; the tone of the forum is increasingly negative. The forum is a far cry from the helpful community it was set up to be and indeed once was.

Sadly, several prolific posters seem to revel in being as unhelpful - often downright mean-spirited - as possible. They may be doing it for the lulz, but these have managed to set the tone for the entire forum. The old EF - a place where a 'stranger in a strange land' could find welcome - is long gone.

All good things have to come to an end, I suppose.
That is right, is negative because of two tones(polarised), is only pro and contra...no other arbitrary view is accepted...no calm, elevated disscussion, everybody is staying on them "nukes"...when a weirdo is trying to expound his view is nearly teared apart like at the vulture banquet...
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  #293  
Old 05.08.2020, 07:34
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Again, just because you do not understand something or cannot afford it, it is not belittling you.
But it is easier than trying to understand. Accusations are always lower investments.

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Not everything is about you..
Which is probably the reason that opinions get polarized - it is hardly ever a one man story. It comes in packs. To have your own opinion requires courage and autonomy and autonomous thinking never yields many people with the same outlook and reasoning. It is never black and white plus there needs to be necessity/duty for that, too. Duty that comes from one's integrity.

If a pack tells you to be black and white, the longing to belong is stronger for most of people and they'd compromise on their own reasoning. The willingness to understand and be open to something that doesn't belong to the pack's dogma reduces, the same way a tribe is reluctant to change their habits and they push on elements that don't comply, they ostracize. Even if those mean progress. When elements come with frequence or volume, progress usually happens. So...

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Something we all have in common on here, I suspect.
Seems like it. It is good to allow your opponents the liberty to answer whenever they feel like and whatever they are willing to share.

Because most of us invest in quality life, and that is for most of the time not online. This community is just a cherry on top.

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It's largely a myth that minds are changed significantly by powerful oration.
Absolutely. But don't forget the entertainment factor, TEDs assume (successfully pretend) that everyone is there to learn together when everyone is there knowing that they want to laugh together. It is not a bad way to learn, afterall.

The structure is predictable but jokes aren't. Love the unusual speakers the most, tbh. Smart oddballs who just have to present as they see fit, not follow the TED marketed sequence. Yawn.

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Agreed, seems to be a lot less negativity and sniping lately.
Absolutely.

But the need for nostalgia and eulogizing together is pretty frequent.

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That is right, is negative because of two tones(polarised), is only pro and contra...no other arbitrary view is accepted...no calm, elevated disscussion, everybody is staying on them "nukes"...when a weirdo is trying to expound his view is nearly teared apart like at the vulture banquet...
There is a vivid visualisation that comes with your thoughts - I honestly enjoy it. Aside from agreeing with what you wrote.
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Last edited by MusicChick; 05.08.2020 at 09:22.
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  #294  
Old 05.08.2020, 09:31
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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There's a lot of ganging up now too after the so-called "club" has left, so how do you explain that. There were different "clubs" before and it seems there's only one left now. But I don't think that's the main/real problem, it is the quality of discussions not the differences in opinions. You can have different opinions and still be polite and still try to stay on topic and refrain from cheap ad hominem and address the idea not the person.
There is still ganging up, but that happens on any forum and even on facebook etc.

What we definitely have less of is certain bully characters who would knock people they disagreed with without even seeking to understand what they were saying, or even took pride in wilfully misunderstanding and derailing discussions, supported by bands of cheerleaders who contributed little of value themselves but egged them on at every turn.

Sometimes it can be more difficult to spot bullies when they happen to be on your side. Sometimes it can be difficult to believe in nasty threatening PMs when you're not the one receiving them. But that doesn't mean they are not there.

Sometimes the people who complain the loudest about what a nasty place the EF has become are the same ones who are dealing the cruelest punches. Self reflection does not come naturally to all participants. Maybe a bit more of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" might help improve the level of interaction here.
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  #295  
Old 05.08.2020, 09:39
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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There is still ganging up, but that happens on any forum and even on facebook etc.

What we definitely have less of is certain bully characters who would knock people they disagreed with without even seeking to understand what they were saying, or even took pride in wilfully misunderstanding and derailing discussions, supported by bands of cheerleaders who contributed little of value themselves but egged them on at every turn.

Sometimes it can be more difficult to spot bullies when they happen to be on your side. Sometimes it can be difficult to believe in nasty threatening PMs when you're not the one receiving them. But that doesn't mean they are not there.

Sometimes the people who complain the loudest about what a nasty place the EF has become are the same ones who are dealing the cruelest punches. Self reflection does not come naturally to all participants. Maybe a bit more of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" might help improve the level of interaction here.
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  #296  
Old 05.08.2020, 09:44
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Maybe a bit more of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" might help improve the level of interaction here.
I couldn't agree more with that. Not what I've seen here lately.

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Sometimes it can be more difficult to spot bullies when they happen to be on your side..
You think?

I am certain of that.
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  #297  
Old 05.08.2020, 09:49
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

Since we're talking about EF in general, I'm grateful every time a mod steps in to clean up and delete any bullying or provoking texts that derail a thread. It helps to keep the bullies and attention seekers at bay and allows the rest to concentrate on the topic at hand.
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  #298  
Old 05.08.2020, 09:58
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Since we're talking about EF in general, I'm grateful every time a mod steps in to clean up.
Yes, you are. But then there are people who call any opponents trolls/attention seekers/ill grammar and request the clean-up one sidedly. And if this does happen, they get busy with abusive reps or pms. Glad that toned down now, I want to thank members for that at this occasion.

Generally, nobody is forced to react to anything they find provoking, more so when we realize that what one finds provoking others consider spot on.

Last edited by MusicChick; 05.08.2020 at 10:21.
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  #299  
Old 05.08.2020, 10:00
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

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Since we're talking about EF in general, I'm grateful every time a mod steps in to clean up and delete any bullying or provoking texts that derail a thread. It helps to keep the bullies and attention seekers at bay and allows the rest to concentrate on the topic at hand.
That is a thing to be appreciated, in my view a mod should try to keep discussions on track and not derail the threads themselves. But hey ho, we're all biased so I don't expect the mods to be totally different. It's the volume that is upsetting imho.
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  #300  
Old 05.08.2020, 10:10
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Re: Polarised society:Why?

Maybe bias clouds some member's levels of tolerance to let others have some space, too. It helps to offer others, generously, the space to contribute what they consider relevant. Nobody is forced to keep reading any volume they do not or cannot or don't want to relate to.
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