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Old 07.11.2020, 01:28
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The hereby jeebies

Some musings on a cold and damp Friday evening. Huddled in my one room pokey hole under the roof, wrapped in a blanket with a hot water bottle and a glass of red as company while listening to Svefn-g-englar on youtube reminds me that I am on the cusp of having had sixty years on this rock.
Not as old as some on this honorable forum, then again not as young as most but I’m coming to the conclusion that there are more days behind me than are in front.
What’s left? Ten, fifteen… twenty, love to get at least another twenty, the last two decades went by in a flash, so fast that I got whiplash of the brain, my mind is still in 2010. It hasn’t caught up yet. I feel cheated somehow.
Soon in geological terms the Slammer will be no more, sometimes in bed before sleep kicks in, with my mind racing I make a mental note to delete my browser history, you never know.
What´s left after we are gone? Remembered by whom? Kids, sure, grandkids, probably. Greatgrandkids… „Who´s that man in the picture mummy?“ „Your great granddad sweetie!“ After that you are just a figure on an old photograph, stored in the Attic until some big clean out, sooner even if your presence is on a digital medium… I have pictures of my grandma getting married 100 years ago, the picture is as clear and as crisp as on the day it was taken. I can’t even access the storage medium I had five years ago.
Forgotten, gone without a trace.
As I said, I´m musing and three glasses in so don’t expect coherent thought.
Last trip to the UK I got a Murphy 104 baffle board wireless from 1946, my dad had one and I had it in my room when we first moved to Germany in 1972, it was the only way I was able to listen to something in English, RTL, AFN from out of Augsburg, Wolfman Jack on a Saturday night, radio Caroline on SW, obviously on a clear night. BBC world service. Numbers stations, little things like that. The old radio vanished after my divorce but it preyed on my mind and I had to get one.
I am having my old Pentax analog camera serviced now that Kodak has brought back Ektachrome and Ilford has restarted production of black and white 35mm film. I rescued a few surviving comic books from the sixties mum had in a cupboard, Beno, Bimbo, Dandy etc. not many things left but enough to get nostalgic when I see them. Why am I clinging to things from so long ago?
I have started to scour eBay for things that I had as a child or growing up that have vanished over the years and that I have now started to miss. Not that I would spend money but its nice to look at them and remember.
Can some of you ancients tell me that it is just a phase and will soon pass or is it going to be like this until the clogs pop?

PS. Memo to me, shouldn´t listen to Sigur Ros in such a frame of mind.
Back in Bavaria, god´s own belly button.
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