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Old 07.08.2008, 14:34
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Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

Following on from my ill-advised resurrection of the creationist/evolutionist thread, I watched a bit of X-Men on the box and got to wondering what physical features of humans we would eventually manipulate and improve.

My Mum has whippets and I know that one of them has a condition that increases the dogs body mass/ muscle ratio making it a super fast, über dog.
(Although not this http://www.canada.com/victoriatimesc...6-1b982456e793 extreme)
This to me seems like the kind of genetic arse up we need as humans. Instead of doing exercise I want to be gifted huge muscles by some evolutionary balls up, so that I can take my shirt off in the park, poor oil over my rippling torso and immediately attract hoardes of simpering adoring females. (or men if you bat for the other side)

Rather like this kid
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNew...70530/20070530
Quote:
Liam has a rare genetic condition called myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, or muscle enlargement. The condition promotes above-normal growth of the skeletal muscles; it doesn't affect the heart and has no known negative side effects, according to experts.
Liam has the kind of physical attributes that bodybuilders and other athletes dream about: 40 percent more muscle mass than normal, jaw-dropping strength, breathtaking quickness, a speedy metabolism and almost no body fat.
In fitness buffs' terms, the kid is ripped
What genetic change should scientist's be working on to make us HUMAN 2.0.


Edit: someone is going to say it so I will : Penis extension to 9" ( I have this mutation anyway but I know some fellas don't so...)

Last edited by PlantHead; 07.08.2008 at 14:50.
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Old 07.08.2008, 14:40
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Re: Human Enhancements

20 years from now,

Girl: "Oh baby, you is so buffed. Do you work out?"

Liam: "No, I have a rare genetic condition that makes me awesome. Wanna see my awesome love muscle?"
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  #3  
Old 07.08.2008, 14:41
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Re: Human Enhancements

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( I have this mutation anyway but I know some fellas don't so...)

You have a mutated penis??


NSFW


(and yes i did type 'mutated penis' into google image search)

Last edited by Swiss Cheddar; 07.08.2008 at 14:43. Reason: added pic
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Old 07.08.2008, 14:46
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Re: Human Enhancements

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Edit: someone is going to say it so I will : Penis extension to 9" ( I have this mutation anyway but I know some fellas don't so...)
Extension?
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  #5  
Old 07.08.2008, 14:49
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Re: Human Enhancements

I feel I have shot myself in the foot/penis with that edit.
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  #6  
Old 07.08.2008, 14:50
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Re: Human Enhancements

... he probably meant to say 19"
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Old 07.08.2008, 14:51
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Re: Human Enhancements

Beat me to it (if you'll pardon the expression)

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Extension?
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Old 07.08.2008, 14:52
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Re: Human Enhancements

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I feel I have shot myself in the foot/penis with that edit.

You have a foot penis??
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Old 07.08.2008, 14:57
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

Well a foot is better than half a foot :P
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Old 07.08.2008, 15:06
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

I think Disney should make a cartoon out of you....... 'PlantHead FootPenis'




Anyway back to the topic, i think the main changes will be bionic rather than genetic. More Robocop rather than Universal Soldier types.

I caught the end of a report on BBC news a couple of hours ago, click here.

This is the sort of technology that will make waves in the years to come.
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Old 07.08.2008, 15:25
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

Anti-Fart enhancement, I get wind something awful after eating bran flakes...would really appreciate some sort of genetic mutation that transforms my excess gas into something useful, or could maybe control it into a one shot power engine, really useful for when swimming in the sea and feeling a little lazy. Fire up the old one time fart enhancer and speed boat my way happily across the tops of the waves.
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Old 07.08.2008, 15:35
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

High metabolism - then I can cook and eat indiscriminately (I know, disgusting) without worrying about piling on pudginess.

A pair of fold-up wings could be nifty. Beats traffic jams.

1.3m-long legs (thanks, but no penis-shaped-foot, please) so I can look nice in jeans or short skirts.

(I'm not greedy, am I?)
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Old 07.08.2008, 16:34
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

I once saw a "Bug report list" of the human body that proposed various improvements:
  • Closable ears
  • Re-growing teeth
  • No wisdom teeth
  • No appendix
  • There is a nerve in the body that goes down and up our torso instead of directly to the organ (forgot which one)
I vote for closable ears.
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Old 07.08.2008, 16:39
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

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I vote for closable ears.

That is a good idea in theory, but in practice it would be rather loud.

Imagine the sound of being underwater mixed with the sound you get if you hold a sea shell to your ear.

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Old 07.08.2008, 16:42
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

I think I'd like gills.

But somewhere secret so that I could have the benefit, with out having to look at them!

C
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Old 07.08.2008, 16:46
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

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I think Disney should make a cartoon out of you....... 'PlantHead FootPenis'
PlantHead FootPenis.... HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Thats two threads today that have saved me from my normal manic depression.

krlock3
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  #17  
Old 07.08.2008, 16:48
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

Ports for information and attaching additional limbs so that I can work and type on EF at the same time.
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Old 07.08.2008, 16:49
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

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would really appreciate some sort of genetic mutation that transforms my excess gas into something useful, or could maybe control it into a one shot power engine
Combined with your already noted enhanced appendage, we could put you out to stud.

krlock3
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Old 07.08.2008, 16:56
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

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I think Disney should make a cartoon out of you....... 'PlantHead FootPenis'



I am upset that you have linked a piece of cheese and my penis.
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  #20  
Old 07.08.2008, 17:05
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Re: Human Enhancements (Human 2.0)

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I am upset that you have linked a piece of cheese and my penis.

Hahaha. That is Woodsie's avatar. What sort of message is he trying to convey?
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