THIS.

Women complain about men, men complain about women. Luckily we're not rational beings, otherwise we have gone extinct long ago.

Not my area of expertise but over the years it's clear phenomena like battered wife syndrome is really a form of PTSD.

I have seen it, sadly, among friends and even distant family members - not always cheating or physical trauma but emotional/mental too. I think for those of us who have unfortunately faced this situation or people victimized by it, there is a feeling of helplessness since there is a cyclical nature to it and even often being passed from one generation to another due to learned behavior

Both my wife & I for example have two different cases of female loved ones stuck in situations (No physical violence or cheating) but depressing & soul sapping nevertheless. How do you help people like this? Therapy is all I have concluded over time

You can't really ... just try to show a good example of what a healthy relationship is. Therapy definitely helps, but they have to be open to going and healing.

Certainly that is what we do and lead by example for our own children as well.

This is often the point I make to both of these cases of females in fact, that ultimately their children will struggle to understand healthy relationships as well

The vicious cycle of post-traumatic stress

I think generally - kids tend to replicate what they had been exposed to up to 7yr. It's been published in some behavioral papers and psy/ethology. The ways adults dealt with stress gets imprinted in anyone, it's not just a vicious cycle of trauma, etc. But all, good and bad. The way your closest adults deal with anxiety and stress up to your 7th year will make you repeat it, uknowingly, until you realize it and work on it. After 7yr we are more likely to process, dissociate and choose our own ways to respond to crisis. Employ our own learning from our own experiences and situations.

I think you can help your friends by making them realize that they themselves might be responding to abuse the way they saw as little kids, which might not be the best for them.

I don't think, OP, that it's a matter of gender. But numbers.

And another thing is - the allure of 'bad boys', too. Or people feeling that they are not 'enough' for a decent partner.

__________________
"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

Sometimes one just deals with the situation the best they can and will continue to live this way until someone dies. Being a friend is the best thing you can do to help.

So... much... cringe...

I had forgotten this thread. Yes, some people are beyond help.

Maybe you should pull out the malfunctioning cringeometer out from your backside and replace the batteries