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  #1  
Old 05.10.2021, 22:33
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Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Imagine that you worked in a company for >5 years. You leave the company with a very good Zeugnis and in good terms. You also leave the city where you are living for the new job, so it's really a big life change.

The first few days/weeks/months, various friends ask you how you are doing in your new job and city.
After 1 year, none of your dozen ex-colleagues has asked you how you are doing...basically you could be dead and nobody cares.

Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
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  #2  
Old 05.10.2021, 22:46
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Normal, unless you are friends with people from DeVere group, they will love you forever.
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  #3  
Old 05.10.2021, 22:49
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Normal.. just human nature.
People get involved in their own lives, and they tend to forget.
It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just life.
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  #4  
Old 05.10.2021, 23:01
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Normal. Don't overthink it.
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  #5  
Old 06.10.2021, 02:16
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Imagine that you worked in a company for >5 years. You leave the company with a very good Zeugnis and in good terms. You also leave the city where you are living for the new job, so it's really a big life change.

The first few days/weeks/months, various friends ask you how you are doing in your new job and city.
After 1 year, none of your dozen ex-colleagues has asked you how you are doing...basically you could be dead and nobody cares.

Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
You are not making much sense… why would ex-colleagues even be in contact with you at all at that stage? They are not your friends so why would the even remember you? I would not remember 50% of the people I worked with over the past 30 years and I doubt they’d remember me. The only thing we had in common was that we worked together for a couple of years.
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  #6  
Old 06.10.2021, 06:35
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

I'm still in contact with a few ex-colleagues. But that's because over the period I worked with them we became friends.
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  #7  
Old 06.10.2021, 06:45
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Imagine that you worked in a company for >5 years. You leave the company with a very good Zeugnis and in good terms. You also leave the city where you are living for the new job, so it's really a big life change.

The first few days/weeks/months, various friends ask you how you are doing in your new job and city.
After 1 year, none of your dozen ex-colleagues has asked you how you are doing...basically you could be dead and nobody cares.

Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
Do you not understand the difference between a personal friend and a good working colleague? While of course you can have a combination of the two, it is comparatively rare, and when you leave a workplace the emotional attachment formed when seeing each other at work every day naturally start to fade. It's a completely normal process.
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  #8  
Old 06.10.2021, 10:01
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

There's linkedin. A few likes and the occasional comment keep the door open for future mutually beneficial collaborations. Business works like this at least in my small science/engineering/consulting bubble. Can it be called professional small talk?

Of course, I'd never expect an invitation to a birthday or a barbecue.
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  #9  
Old 06.10.2021, 10:16
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Your work colleagues are not your friends.

Unless they are.
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  #10  
Old 06.10.2021, 12:11
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Have you ever reached out to them and asked how are they doing in the old company / old city? It is a two way street.
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  #11  
Old 06.10.2021, 13:43
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

I would say this is completely normal world wide.

The job was the only tie you had to those people, and you cut the tie.

In all the jobs I have had, I had one mentor that kept in touch and I kept in touch with her as well. However, once I left that industry I never heard from her again.

Social media has fooled a lot of people into thinking they were friends when the reality is that they were simply work colleagues.
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  #12  
Old 06.10.2021, 13:48
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Up to you to make the effort to keep in touch if you have moved on. If you'd like to see any of them, call them and ask them out.
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  #13  
Old 06.10.2021, 14:11
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

Quite normal. Many years ago i worked for an oil company in London. Got on well with colleagues, would often go to the pub with them after work and one even lived a block away from my mother and would walk past her house to and from the station every day.

I heard nothing from them after I left, though they gave me a leaving present and a good sendoff saying to keep in touch. Then, after about a year, i was in the area one evening and decided to pop into the pub to see if anyone was there. The usual work crowd was there with a few new faces and I was warmly greeted and had drinks bought for me. At throwing out time we all said our goodbyes and all agreed to keep in touch.

Never heard or saw from them again! Mind you I didn't make any effort either as I'd moved on.

Moral is, if you want to keep in touch, you make the initial contact. Otherwise life moves on and you with it, so don't worry about it.
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  #14  
Old 07.10.2021, 13:03
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
As others have said, it's perfectly normal.

One of my 3 best mates is a guy I worked with for 6mths 24yrs ago. Other than him, I've kept 2 friends from that job, which I was in for 15yrs. Also kept 1 from my next job which was for a year, and who I spoke to this past weekend. My last job was for 10yrs, I'm still in regular contact with dozens of those colleagues and we usually meet up when I'm back in the UK.

I think the difference between the my workplaces is that in the last job, we had regular weekend work trips visiting suppliers, so we spent a hell of a lot of time together outside the office, travelling and sharing hotel rooms.
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  #15  
Old 07.10.2021, 18:13
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

I think that people either, like Blueangel describes, really make friends with work colleagues (and some meet their partners at work) or else, after working together, they just move on.

However, it can be useful, in terms of networking, to make a note of the names and roles of anyone you worked with whom you liked, felt they did their job well, inspired you to do your own work better, completed a project with you, etc. And perhaps occasionally to keep in touch. This, in Switzerland, perhaps more than in larger countries. Each field is a rather small sub-group of the population so that, sooner or later, those former work colleagues may become your lecturer on a next course you attend, or student when you teach, or your manager, subordinate or colleague at another job, or your supplier or competitor. For that reason, it's very good not to have left that last job having slammed doors or burnt bridges. As you might meet those colleages in the next place, it's a good idea to be able to place them, and they may become contacts for you to get a new job, or you may suggest calling them in to work with you.
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  #16  
Old 09.10.2021, 13:48
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Imagine that you worked in a company for >5 years. You leave the company with a very good Zeugnis and in good terms. You also leave the city where you are living for the new job, so it's really a big life change.

The first few days/weeks/months, various friends ask you how you are doing in your new job and city.
After 1 year, none of your dozen ex-colleagues has asked you how you are doing...basically you could be dead and nobody cares.

Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
It's normal, no offence need be taken. Stay in touch with them and they might stay in touch with you. IMO the onus is on you, as the person who has left from the company and is no longer on the e-mail list, to be proactive in keeping lines of communication open.
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  #17  
Old 09.10.2021, 16:25
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Imagine that you worked in a company for >5 years. You leave the company with a very good Zeugnis and in good terms. You also leave the city where you are living for the new job, so it's really a big life change.

The first few days/weeks/months, various friends ask you how you are doing in your new job and city.
After 1 year, none of your dozen ex-colleagues has asked you how you are doing...basically you could be dead and nobody cares.

Would you be offended, or is it just normal?
Even very close friends from childhood/school/uni at some point don't care or just involved in their life. That's more or less normal.
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  #18  
Old 09.10.2021, 18:19
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Even very close friends from childhood/school/uni at some point don't care or just involved in their life. That's more or less normal.
Oooooh. It all makes sense now.
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  #19  
Old 09.10.2021, 18:57
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Even very close friends from childhood/school/uni at some point don't care or just involved in their life. That's more or less normal.
Not in Switzerland it isn't. It is one of the reasons that it is difficult for some to make friends with the Swiss - their seven or eight slots are already full and they make the effort to keep up the friendships.
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  #20  
Old 09.10.2021, 19:15
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Re: Should ex-colleagues ask you how is the new job?

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Even very close friends from childhood/school/uni at some point don't care or just involved in their life. That's more or less normal.
Not my experience at all, and not my OH's either.
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