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Old 23.08.2008, 20:31
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Saying Goodbye

I saw that i was spending too much time trying to stay caught up in the forum, and descided it isnt good for my addiction. I cant be in a forum part way, im either all in, or have to stay out of it completely. So i have to leave. It was 3 yrs that i was addicted to chat and forums, and i finally got past that back in Feb. I would love to be a part of a forum again, i like helping people find what they are looking for, but i cant. So now i am going to say good bye, and if any of you would like to chat about anything that you think we would have a general interest, here is some info...

I live in Bern... as you can well see by my name,
I am a Christian that goes to an english speaking international church
I have 2 little girls (6 and 4)
I have a 3rd girl due on October 4th,
I am an independant beauty consultant
My husband is a bike mechanic

If you would like to try and build a friendship, send me a message on here, and we can see what happens.

I wish you all well.
Patty

Last edited by PatriciaNBern; 24.08.2008 at 15:02.
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Old 23.08.2008, 20:35
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Re: Saying Goodbye

Why not go to some of the forum meetings you get the social part ... without staying infront of your computer
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  #3  
Old 23.08.2008, 21:20
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Re: Saying Goodbye

I'd remove your email and invite pm's or you will be getting spam - lots of it.
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Old 23.08.2008, 21:38
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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I saw that i was spending too much time trying to stay caught up in the forum, and descided it isnt good for my addiction. I cant be in a forum part way, im either all in, or have to stay out of it completely. So i have to leave.
Patty
Help, we need a "EF Anoymous". Or is it "Chat Watchers"?
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Old 24.08.2008, 21:39
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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Help, we need a "EF Anoymous". Or is it "Chat Watchers"?

I think if we just start living life instead of talking about it, thats good enough. If i didnt have my family around at night, it would be a good time for me to kinda unwind in chat, but when most people can unwind in chat or on the forums, i have my family time and couple time. I just learned i cant really balance them. When i just want to check if there are any updates on a couple of topics, i find im checking the whole forum for updates, then family time is gone, and im eating into couple time too. I think the only time i could spend on here without feeling guilty, is when my husband is watching sports during our couple time. That only happens durning important matches, since usually he tapes his sports and watches them in the morning before getting my oldest up for Kindergarten.

Maybe things will change one day, but for now, my life kinda demands that i cut out certain things in my life. In October i quit smoking, Feb. i quit most caffeine and chat, Not long ago i even started to go to bed before Midnight (instead of 2am).

It all started with me trying to quit smoking, slowly other things kinda worked themselves out. I had tried several times to quit smoking, but this was the first time in 10 yrs that i could do it. The others are a bonus. And if you dont understand why i feel so strongly about the chat problem (because the issue was more chat then forums), is because i had spent every moment in chat from the moment i woke up, until my husband got home from work, then after 4 hours with him and my family, i went back into the chat room, or into PM. That went on for about 3 yrs. That is a bit personal, i know, but it is so you know just how bad it was. But thats what i did to fill the void when i got out of touch with my family, had no work, no friends here in switzerland, and my kids were too young to demand much attention. Then one day i blinked. Anyhow, i meant to spend only 5 minutes here, and ive already been here 20. Good night all, I will be checking this thread for updates when i get notifications, and checking my messages. Other then that, i wish you all the best, and hope you can balance your real lives and online lives easier then i did.
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Old 24.08.2008, 21:57
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Re: Saying Goodbye

Hi Patty,

I wish you all the best. I hope you have a smooth uncomplicated birth and enjoy the "new" time with your family. Good luck with your resolve.
Gal xx
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Old 24.08.2008, 22:49
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Re: Saying Goodbye

family time, couple time, chat time, forum time ? One eating into another ? Quit this, quit that ? Let it all wash over you and relax. Take it easy, dave
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Old 24.08.2008, 23:29
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Re: Saying Goodbye

Thanks for your openness, and I wish you good luck with the coming birth and your family. Everybody has to make their ranking of priorities, and you`re always welcome back Time is always a limited resource, although we seem to have more free -time than ever before.... What about trying to limit the chatting- time to 1-2 hours a day, and if people are "hassling" you after spending "your time" in the forums, just tell them you have to suffice the bank, shop or whatever?

Last edited by cecileg; 25.08.2008 at 00:15.
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Old 25.08.2008, 11:02
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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Thanks for your openness, and I wish you good luck with the coming birth and your family. Everybody has to make their ranking of priorities, and you`re always welcome back Time is always a limited resource, although we seem to have more free -time than ever before.... What about trying to limit the chatting- time to 1-2 hours a day, and if people are "hassling" you after spending "your time" in the forums, just tell them you have to suffice the bank, shop or whatever?
Actually, i stay out of chat rooms completely now. And as for trying to only limit my time online.... it dont work for me. "i think, oh, ill just check for updates, it will only take me 5 minutes", before i know it, an hour has gone by. Even forums are a problem for me. I used to be a moderator, and i cant help but try to reply to everyones questions. Ill stick with replying to emails, which also take up a bit of time, but are less of a problem for me.

And thank you Dave, and Galatea
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Old 25.08.2008, 11:05
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Re: Saying Goodbye

I would cut out chat completely. Now that is banal. At least forums allow you to be selective, at a time convenient to you, and there is no need to monitor the conversation unless salsalover is being particularly smarmy and presenting a risk to the public at large...

dave


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Actually, i stay out of chat rooms completely now. And as for trying to only limit my time online.... it dont work for me. "i think, oh, ill just check for updates, it will only take me 5 minutes", before i know it, an hour has gone by. Even forums are a problem for me. I used to be a moderator, and i cant help but try to reply to everyones questions. Ill stick with replying to emails, which also take up a bit of time, but are less of a problem for me.

And thank you Dave, and Galatea
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  #11  
Old 25.08.2008, 11:06
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Re: Saying Goodbye

I shouldn't tell you this, although I suspect you already know it. There are forums for and about forum addiction.
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Old 25.08.2008, 11:06
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Re: Saying Goodbye

38 posts is hardly prolific.

stop now while you still can. forums are the divvils work, ayyyy.
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Old 25.08.2008, 11:20
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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I shouldn't tell you this, although I suspect you already know it. There are forums for and about forum addiction.




Oh, and krlock3, i made most of those posts in the first week. Then i took a break and thought about how much i needed this forum. It could be a great resource, but i descided, im tired of missing dinner with my family, and UNO time after dinner... I know to some of you, you think this is stupid, but your not living my life, and im not living yours. Maybe when my kids are older and doing homework instead of wanting to play with me, maybe then ill have time for forums again. For now, i have a cute little 4 yr old grinning at me, and wanting to go out ot play...
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Old 25.08.2008, 11:50
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Re: Saying Goodbye

UNO time?

You really do break these things down, dont you.
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Old 25.08.2008, 15:03
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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UNO time?

You really do break these things down, dont you.
Hey, dont dis UNO... its a great learning resource for my girls. It helps them use thier minds. For my 4 yr old it is harder when she is tired, but it helps her focus and try to figure out what cards she can play. She knows the colors, but sometimes has trouble realising she can play the numbers so we have to constantly remind her that "if you have a green card, or a 7, or a Black card (wild)", she can play it too. It also shows them that you can have fun playing a game and not win, and that loosing is ok. It helps them appreciate when they do win.

It also brings a lot of laughs to the table when "Daddy" hammers "Mama" with a bunch of Draw 2's or Draw 4's. We have more fun playing games then when we try and watch ... Cars, or Ice Age. They might love the shows, but we have more fun together and laugh more when we play games.

If you have kids... try it... it might take some time getting them used to it if they are used to a different routine, but you might find they like it.

I loved it as a kid when my family did it, unless my family started cheating to try and beat me. (they would give me all red cards and make sure never to play reds... or hammer me with Draw cards lol). Plus as we all got older, we would change the rules of the game a little to make it harder and more fun...
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Old 25.08.2008, 15:09
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Re: Saying Goodbye

From the information you have given, there seems to be a label in your life for every minute of the day. Do you have MS-Project on your PC ? You can allocate resources an level them to maximise your efficiency. So you could do me-time and couple-time at the same time and reduce the critical path to getting through the day.

Might I suggest a less regimented approach to life ? It's making me uncomfortable just reading it - unless its Hammer-zeit of course!

dave


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Hey, dont dis UNO... its a great learning resource for my girls. It helps them use thier minds. For my 4 yr old it is harder when she is tired, but it helps her focus and try to figure out what cards she can play. She knows the colors, but sometimes has trouble realising she can play the numbers so we have to constantly remind her that "if you have a green card, or a 7, or a Black card (wild)", she can play it too. It also shows them that you can have fun playing a game and not win, and that loosing is ok. It helps them appreciate when they do win.

It also brings a lot of laughs to the table when "Daddy" hammers "Mama" with a bunch of Draw 2's or Draw 4's. We have more fun playing games then when we try and watch ... Cars, or Ice Age. They might love the shows, but we have more fun together and laugh more when we play games.

If you have kids... try it... it might take some time getting them used to it if they are used to a different routine, but you might find they like it.

I loved it as a kid when my family did it, unless my family started cheating to try and beat me. (they would give me all red cards and make sure never to play reds... or hammer me with Draw cards lol). Plus as we all got older, we would change the rules of the game a little to make it harder and more fun...
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Old 25.08.2008, 15:41
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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Hey, dont dis UNO...
If you and your family happen to be learning German (and/or Swiss German) — and maybe even if not — learning to play the Swiss game of "Tschau Sepp" would be a very similar learning resource for your girls. My kids grew up with it. It has many similarities to UNO, but uses Jass cards.

If you're interested, PM me and I'll email you English instructions in a Word document.
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Old 25.08.2008, 15:47
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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From the information you have given, there seems to be a label in your life for every minute of the day. Do you have MS-Project on your PC ? You can allocate resources an level them to maximise your efficiency. So you could do me-time and couple-time at the same time and reduce the critical path to getting through the day.

Might I suggest a less regimented approach to life ? It's making me uncomfortable just reading it - unless its Hammer-zeit of course!

dave
OK, half of that went right over my head.

As for the lables, that was to show that my family was really missing me.

MS-Project, this is the first time ive heard of it.... so no. Um... i do use planner for my day, otherwise i dont even remember that i have a doctors appointment that i scheduled yesterday for today... its pretty bad.

My evenings are the only times that are pretty set, or at least used to be. 7-7:30 is usually dinner, and 8 is bed time for the kids. That is the only thing i really have to make sure gets done... which is why i thought i had all day for my computer. Much like today, but the kids are coloring behind me and seem content without me right now. So between 7 and 8 we have some family time, playing uno after we eat, and then the kids get ready for bed and go to sleep. So not too much of a regimented life yet... right.

Couple time is as soon as the kids are in bed, so again, its just practical for us. Thats what i was meaning about if i get on the computer before we eat dinner, i usually miss dinner, family time, and start eating into couple time.

During the day, what do i do... Organize my Mary Kay orders, Talk to my Team leader, make my emails, do my phone calls, basically whatever i noted down on my To Do List... the other half of the day is usually for the kids now, coloring, making cookies, going to the park (and reading), or watching movies (usually coloring or watching movies). Now that im working part time, i have wednesdays and evenings for work, when i schedule a skin care class, or color appointment, otherwise its just an ordinary day.

When my baby comes, most of the work will be cut out for a couple of weeks or months, depending on how i feel.

Today my schedule was boring:

10:00 -12:00 Nothing
12:00 -13:30 Lunch and watch some shows
13:30 -15:00 To Do List (which was empty)
15:00 -19:00 Not a darn thing other then watch the kids
19:00 Dinner
19:30 Family time
20:00 Bed time (for kids)

Does that look like im too busy today.... Now tomorrow and Wednesday i am busy all day with appointments (usually i dont do tuesdays but i needed a couple more facials to earn a special pin).

.oO(really needs to learn how to shut up and stop the rambling)Oo.

So, do you still hold to the statement:
"Might I suggest a less regimented approach to life ? It's making me uncomfortable just reading it - unless its Hammer-zeit of course!"
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Old 25.08.2008, 15:55
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Re: Saying Goodbye

Even more so. I find it difficult to believe it necessary to break down and analyse every minute you spend or allocate to a particular activity. Just do it. For me it borders on OCD. As you say though, its your life, no one elses.

Maybe I will should take comfort in the fact when I meet God he won't have my utilisation stats in front of him.

dave


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OK, half of that went right over my head.

As for the lables, that was to show that my family was really missing me.
....

So, do you still hold to the statement:
"Might I suggest a less regimented approach to life ? It's making me uncomfortable just reading it - unless its Hammer-zeit of course!"
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Old 25.08.2008, 16:18
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Re: Saying Goodbye

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Even more so. I find it difficult to believe it necessary to break down and analyse every minute you spend or allocate to a particular activity. Just do it. For me it borders on OCD. As you say though, its your life, no one elses.

Maybe I will should take comfort in the fact when I meet God he won't have my utilisation stats in front of him.

dave
Actually, as a Mom and Wife... it isnt just my life. What i do or dont do, effects my family too. If i dont take care of myself and my tasks, then they suffer for it. I dont need to break down every minute, but as you could see in the schedule, most of the time was free, even though in a schedule, i could do it any time within that time.
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