I'm sorry for your loss Oldhand and thank you for sharing with us!

I think that poster was genuinly meaning well it's hard to know what to say in these situations so maybe don't give them a hard time or humiliate them

I was not trying to humiliate them or give them a hard time honest i was just trying to point out a few facts that it is not easy when someone dies to hear be strong. I have lost many loved ones and when people told me to be strong i felt like strangling them, i am sorry if i have offened anyone

We sometimes have the great fortune to meet some amazing people in life and when they die, the sadness we feel runs deep..

I'm sorry for your loss Oldhand.

Thank you all so much. It's not the physical loss that I mourn, that happened a long time ago. I suppose it brought back my own mums death 19 months ago and the realization that so many people who I shared a history with are no longer here.

You know some people may think it's crazy to publish your grief on an open forum but your words and acknowledgment have comforted me today. So thanks again.

I lost my mum 8 years ago and still miss her today, so i know how you feel i have also lost many other family members that i miss.

Sweetie you are not crazy sharing your grief on here, as you can get get help and support on here

So sorry for your loss OldHand, and thanks for posting this.

After my dear Mother died on Christmas eve 8 years ago, I found a Christmas card (from an ex-girlfriend from about 9 years previous). I was a bit surprised but in the new year I sent her a card telling her the news. I got a reply that had me in tears all night.

After we had split up, my Mother had continued to send her birthday and Xmas cards. My ex said such wonderful things about my Mum and how devastated she was to have lost such a dear friend. I had no idea that they were still in touch.

No one can say what you should do in this situation as we all feel differently about funerals, and of course we don't know the history. I can just say that, if it was me, I would try to be there as inconspicuously as possible, even for just a few minutes. I would be sure to regret it if I didn't go. But that is just me, you do what you feel is right on the day.

I am so sorry about your loss. May your memories comfort you in these sad moments.

Do you know what was nice? I phoned a flower shop in Chur today, not to send flowers to the person who no longer lived but to the one who had dedicated her time to look after Mama.
They listened to what I wanted (daisy's because that was my mamas name (Margrith)) and the lady didn't once change to that horrible high German for foreigners. That was one frustration less on a day when I might have been less than understanding.

I've noticed the thread earlier and feel a little bit guilty for letting fellow EFers break the ice - I hope you remember the good moments and have enough time to make the decision if you go to the funeral or not. I think a funeral is for mourning and people frequently have friends that don't go along together too well, it's just the way it is. I think with mutual respect and distance keeping you can say goodbye without offending the fifth sibling. It doesn't sound like any recent events burden your relationship, right?

Olahand: I noticed that you often defended switzerland and the swiss people,thank you for that.Your mother in law must have been a very good mentor I am very sorry for the loss of your mother in law

Sorry about your loss Oldhand, hearing about other peoples sad losses always brings memories of close ones we have all lost throughout our lives. I lost my lovely Mum and Dad yrs ago and i never did believe time is a healer, but i feel we just have to learn to live with it. People say be strong and time is a healer as they often dont know what else to say, but they all mean well.I know as the days pass by we start to think of the laughs and lovely times we had together and this will be the same for you as im sure you already know. Thinking of you...big hug....Linda x

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.....

My Condolences Oldhand and I could not agree with you more. Since I arrived in this country almost 20 years ago, my wife's parents have done everything possible to help me fit in and feel part of the family.

Best Regards,

Jim.

so sorry to hear about your loss... you're lucky to have had such a person to ease you into life in a different culture and i'm sure she was a warm and sweet person for taking the time and care for doing that. and it seems she was a lucky woman to have someone appreciate that about her as well. maybe i'm one of the few to think it but mother-in-laws are really special people.
my condolences.

It's true Markoff, death is part of the cycle of life. We're all going sometime.

Oldhand, sorry for your loss, but nice to hear the Swiss positivity that your ex-mother in law generated. She sounds like a class act.

Cheers, HB

I'm so sorry, Oldhand.

Sorry to hear of your loss Oldhand. I only knew my mother-in-law for a short while before she passed away but in the short time that I knew her I found her to be a wonderful person also. She is also sorely missed.

Sorry to hear the sad news oldhand, thinking of you.

Thanks for all the lovely and respectful words. It's nice to belong to a community however anonymous.

I didn't go to the funeral but I will go when the headstone is put on the grave. I'll meet up with a few people and lay my wreath and know I didn't bring any more tension to the funeral than necessary. I'm at one with that.

It was my ex's new wife who hated the family having anything to do with me. Not anyone in the family well apart from the ex of course. Anyway tis done and dusted.