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  #261  
Old 06.01.2010, 23:59
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals in large multinationals (i.e., independent and good earners), and attractive. From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three. Oh! And they love sports and outdoors!
You probably have to say that because you are friends.

But you've got to look at the numbers. Let's say they are 37. Assuming that they are even above-average looking. Who are they competing against? At that age, you'd probably consider people from 31 or older at a minimum.

Then consider the distribution of single women in the early thirties compared to the number of singles in the late thirties. Now think how do they look compared to 31 year olds? (sorry to focus on looks alone, but I guess that's what 80% of men will focus on). They are going to be outnumbered by younger, hotter-looking girls.

For some reason, women seem to date older men more readily than the other way, so time really works against women.

A bit depressing for them, but there you go.

EDIT: In terms of an upper age:

If a man wants to have children, then there are some limits. Let's say 2.5 children desired over a 3 year period. If you assume that menopause is at 52 and that between meeting for the first time and beginning to have children is 3 years that gives an upper age of 46 for a man lookiig to settle down and start a family.

In reality, the risk of giving birth to a child with a birth defect does increase as the mother's age increases as well as dangers to the mother. The traditional age at which a woman is considered to be at high risk for chromosomal abnormalities is 35. Approximately 1 in 1,400 babies born from women in their 20's have Down syndrome; it increases to about 1 in 100 babies born with Down syndrome from women in their 40s.

If you assume that medical improvements mean that 39 is the upper 'safe' age for having children instead of 52, then you get down already to an age of 33.
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Last edited by Phil_MCR; 07.01.2010 at 10:40.
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  #262  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:20
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Talking of cleavages, I think its ok if you show some while on a nite out or out and about but at a work place ?!!

I worked for this media company for a short while and 70% of teh employees were females

This girl, when she had to ask me something would come around and lean over with her forearms flat on my desk, in front of me (she did the same with other guys too) and it would soon become a staring in the eye contest. Shes waiting for me to look down and Im waiting for her to smile.

I can play cool as a cucumber but sometimes I feel like saying, Tony Montana style:

You wanna play games? Okay, I play with you; come on. Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

And then the punch line is when they sneak in "my boyfriend" into the conversation!

@Phil: Youare pretty good with drawing means and medians But I think relationships do happen despite all odds. Though realistically speaking, men should be willing to compete with 30ish crowd and women 20ish, if you are out at the dating game.
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  #263  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:28
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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If a man wants to have children, then there are some limits. Let's say 2.5 children desired over a 3 year period. If you assume that menopause is at 52 and that between meeting for the first time and beginning to have children is 3 years that gives an upper age of 46 for a man lookiig to settle down and start a family.

In reality, the risk of giving birth to a child with a birth defect does increase as the mother's age increases as well as dangers to the mother. The traditional age at which a woman is considered to be at high risk for chromosomal abnormalities is 35. Approximately 1 in 1,400 babies born from women in their 20's have Down syndrome; it increases to about 1 in 100 babies born with Down syndrome from women in their 40s.

If you assume that medical improvements mean that 39 is the upper 'safe' age for having children instead of 52, then you get down already to an age of 33.
That's true to a large extent, many men do indeed gravitate towards women of equal or younger age due to the kids thing. I really want kids, but not for a few years at least (I still need to live, have enough trouble looking after myself, and that's provided I can find someone that tolerates me enough to want to bear my offspring, which will be a mission in itself ) so generally a few years younger is good... though you can't plan these things I guess!
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  #264  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:34
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

yes, younger is also good.... but apparently I know few couples where a guy is 3-4 yrs younger.

I think there is no rules for that.

Best,

karin
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  #265  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:36
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Of course there's no 'rules', I was speaking generally (obviously).
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  #266  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:42
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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This girl, when she had to ask me something would come around and lean over with her forearms flat on my desk, in front of me (she did the same with other guys too) and it would soon become a staring in the eye contest. Shes waiting for me to look down and Im waiting for her to smile.
Complain to your supervisor for sexual harressment?
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  #267  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:49
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Complain to your supervisor for sexual harressment?
What if your "supervisor" does the same thing and then gives you a Guidebook on relationships when you pretend to ignore all "signs"

Its not so easy for simple guys like me to survive in this Big Bad World
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  #268  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:50
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Poor Derv.
It's hard to be beautiful and sexy, isn't?
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  #269  
Old 07.01.2010, 11:59
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Poor Derv.
It's hard to be beautiful and sexy, isn't?
It was only hard when I was innocent

But I think looks dont matter when it comes to finding a stable partner. Knew a really pretty girl who said "She wished she was not so pretty and had a loving partner than be pretty and no sincere lover"
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  #270  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:17
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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yes, younger is also good.... but apparently I know few couples where a guy is 3-4 yrs younger.
3-4 is not younger... .
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  #271  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:17
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Poor Derv.
It's hard to be beautiful and sexy, isn't?
I wouldn't know, It's not so bad to be me though.
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  #272  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:18
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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3-4 is not younger... .
You Cradle Snatcher

"Get'em young and the possibilities are endless"
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  #273  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:19
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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3-4 is not younger... .
By your standards.
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  #274  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:30
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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3-4 is not younger... .
we know you need an athletic young man for your... 'purposes'.
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  #275  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:37
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

I think rather than having some idle banter on Dating threads, we need to do something constructive for the EF Singles.

I propose we draw a list of all the EF Singles and then anytime we go out we actively help out to find them a date.

I, for one, am willing to bear through the disgrace of reaching out and asking random someone, who would be of interest, for a date on behalf of my EF friends
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  #276  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:42
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

This is going to put the cat amongst the pidgeons but....

I've always applied the rule that a man can date a woman that is half his age +7 (at the time of meeting). The exception to this rule is if you are rich and/or famous then this factor can be adjusted to -20, but mere mortal men stick to +7, +6, +5 whatever works for you

I dont have a formula for older woman younger man.
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  #277  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:47
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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This is going to put the cat amongst the pidgeons but....

I've always applied the rule that a man can date a woman that is half his age +7 (at the time of meeting). The exception to this rule is if you are rich and/or famous then this factor can be adjusted to -20, but mere mortal men stick to +7, +6, +5 whatever works for you

I dont have a formula for older woman younger man.
not a bad rule of thumb, but i guess the critical age is between 18-24 when you're maturing/growing up a lot and life/job/outlook is changing significantly.

i reckon once you're both over 30, age differences don't matter so much any more.
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  #278  
Old 07.01.2010, 12:54
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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i reckon once you're both over 30, age differences don't matter so much any more.
Exactly and that is why I suggest to the ops friends to go younger- all the men their age are doing it, so why not the women?

And contrary to popular belief, when the men are younger you do have proper dates... none of that having a few too many and then having to take a taxi home and wondering if they'll call again.
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  #279  
Old 07.01.2010, 13:03
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

I think the point of age in the thread by Phil_MCR was very valid but I have some more points, things I have noticed.

I think that the attitude of the male to female as a lovey-dovey relationship has totally changed.

Despite what I have read on this thread from females; that 40 plus year old men want children; this is not true. In fact more than 50% of my clients married/divorced wish they had not had children and I would say that relates to the females as well.
Viewing from the outside, I just see so many parents totally frustrated by their children and this has increased dramatically over the last 15 years. I don't know the reasons but it could well be due to the media hype of expectations.

I would also say that 80% of my male married clients are disappointed with the sex lives they have with their wives.
I would say that 50% of my married male clients have seen or see prostitutes. What really surprise me is that it goes right accross the age barrier; from 25 onwards not say 40 plus.

I would say that 20% of my female clients are dissapointed with the sex lives of their husbands as well though it appears that they are less likely to have an affair (though even this has increased in the last 5 years). I must say that it is a lot more difficult to extract the information from females.

As a male, I also think that once you have been single for a certain time (and especially if you have been disappointed/hurt big time in a previous relationships) you become independent and actually enjoy your space.
In fact over the Xmas holidays, three of my friends actually rang me while their girlfriend was watching TV to tell me that they are looking forward to be able to drop them back home because they are getting p*ssed off with them being demanding and moaning.

I think that females have to actually look what they can offer men now.
It was a family/children but as money seems (unfortuantely) to be the driving force, it doesn't make sense to have children.
In fact when I discuss about children with male friends (and even some females), there don't seem to be any benefits of having children.
Children cost money; time; ruin your sex life and worst, they show no appreciation for what you do (I can understand that).
Sex was the other thing but that appears to die out in relationships - I suppose that it is the routine and yes you can do things to spice it up but eventually you run out of things or they are considered too perverted.
Companionship: I have heard all this, we are really great friends as well and have done so much together. BUT you do that with your normal friends and sometimes you spend more time with one friend than another because at that point in your life you both have an interest in that.

I also think that the internet with unlimited free porn has changed the attitude of getting involved in relationships. If you watched porn on the internet from a young age, most girlfriends would not reach your expectations in sex ever. In fact we were joking the other day that teenagers must believe that you get pregant by coming over females faces by now (oh and of course all females love it that way).

My conlcusion is that society (Western) has dramatically changed in the last 15 years with regard to attitudes and a male seems less in the need to be tied to a female and males do find females more demanding than they used to be (unfortuantely not in the sex department) and probably realise it might not be worth the aggrevation in getting into a long term relationship.
For us males, there is more and younger choice as well.
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Last edited by Cashboy; 07.01.2010 at 15:58.
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  #280  
Old 07.01.2010, 13:08
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

So nice of you to generalise from your clients. You'd be surprised how things haven't actually changed that much: both men and women would like companionship with someone special who they also have sex with.

What's changed is that people couldn't be bothered to put in the required effort since there are no societal/financial constraints. Also, people bail at the slightest trouble. Some women have trouble dealing with the liberation of career vs having a family. Some men have trouble dealing with complicated women.

I don't think our desires have changed; our handling of the total freedom is what the issue is.
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