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  #541  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:08
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

But why Wolli ?
Why should a woman have to hide their intelligence or professional standing to find a partner ?

I do realize this is quite a futile question as it really does seem to be the ways of the world (not just Zurich) but it never fails to amaze me.
Perhaps I have not understood correctly
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  #542  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:12
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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But why ?
Why should a woman have to hide their intelligence or professional standing to find a partner ?
I didn't say that.

Rather, I'm suggesting that if you work in an environment where the only people you ever meet are go-getting alpha types, you are sure to end up frustrated and disappointed in love.

In Migros, on the other hand, a woman is more likely to meet someone nice and normal.

(like me, for instance)
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  #543  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:14
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

I edited DB..sorry my question was to Wolli, regarding the general idea
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  #544  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:21
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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In Migros, on the other hand, a woman is more likely to meet someone nice and normal.

(like me, for instance)

Just so you girls know... I buy at coop.
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  #545  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:37
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Seriously??? Well, that goes to show what I know about men (and the human species in general). Hence, my avatar.
We were discussing this at "brunch" today.

The only "Italian" among us was actually from London, but he agreed that Berlusconi is the man all Italians wish they were.

Tom

P.S. (the rest of us are legally Swiss)
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  #546  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:39
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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But why Wolli ?
Why should a woman have to hide their intelligence or professional standing to find a partner ?

I do realize this is quite a futile question as it really does seem to be the ways of the world (not just Zurich) but it never fails to amaze me.
Perhaps I have not understood correctly
Fact is that many (most ? ) men feel intimidated and lost in view of a potential female partner who looks to be intellectually vastly superior. If they do not, like Bill Clinton, and marry such an intellectuallly superior woman, they inevitably become President of the USA But overall, the number of men who are ready to take a supremely intellectual woman as mate for live is a bit limited, at least if that supremacy is too obvious. Therefore my suggestion to such women. Get down. An alternative for them would be to take the job of a travel-guide of a travel-agency. Such travel-guides are expected to be "people in the know" with some considerable knowledge, and are not regarded as intellectuals even if having two Doctorates (real ones !) in their pockets and speaking eight languages fluently. An alternative for such women might be to move to a hotel or a restaurant, for instance as chief receptionist or as host for occasions in a restaurant. But to reside in the management floor of a big company, just beside the office of the mighty and mightily grumpy chief married to an even more grumpy dragon simply is not the way to go
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  #547  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:47
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Most intelligent women would not be attracted to a man who is afraid of her intelligence, surely? Many highly intelligent women do NOT live on pedestals and can have a laugh and a giggle and very down to earth joys. Yes, they maybe more picky, as living with a man who is not 'on par' can be very dull after the initial excitement.
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  #548  
Old 27.02.2011, 21:49
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Honestly.... Are guys really thinking: I am not going out with her, she is too intelligent for me?
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  #549  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:01
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Ok, I want to ask something....how many of the posters here are single??
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  #550  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:01
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Honestly.... Are guys really thinking: I am not going out with her, she is too intelligent for me?
Well, I'VE never met a woman who has been more intelligent!

Tom

P.S. Nor a man.
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  #551  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:02
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

I don't think intelligence is a turn off, but being a bit alpha can be.

There are few things more tiresome than hanging around with someone with big dreams, who expects you to be equally ambitious and belittles you when you suggest that, well, actually, you don't want a BMW, that you don't want to go to Thailand on your holidays, that you actually rather like your turned up jeans and wrinkled t-shirt rather than an ironed shirt and chinos.

Give me clever and chilled over successful and driven any night of the week (well, not another one, as I like the one I've got, but you know what I mean...).
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  #552  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:03
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Ok, I want to ask something....how many of the posters here are single??
I'm in-between, actually.

Tom

P.S. I.E. I'm widowed and fianceed
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  #553  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:04
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Some men feel very threatened by a woman's intelligence. I just loved the film 'Educating Rita' which illustrates the point very well. When I applied to go to Uni as a mature student with 2 small children, I was asked what my husband thought of it! I was quite shocked by the question - the recruiter apologised, but said I had to be aware that all their mature (married) women students in the past decade had divorced during their Degree course - as husbands could not 'cope' with their changing role. Glad to say I'm still with the same man after 40+ years - but it does take a real and intelligent man to cope with a 'thinking' woman (and sadly there are not enough of them around- although I am sure plenty here on EF).

Now, where is that Harry Henfield 'thinking woman at a diner party' vid?
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  #554  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:06
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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it does take a real and intelligent man to cope with a 'thinking' woman
Not always.

I seem to get by all right...
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  #555  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:08
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

So.... the OP has a valid point

Odile just for you, have you seen this one ?

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  #556  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:09
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Yes, love it. But the dinner party one really does 'speak' to me, as I've been there, done that! I remember thinking, is this really England in the 70s? How can it be?
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  #557  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:09
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Humility, charming and interested/interesting are equally important.

I've met you DB: you're intelligent in a quirky way. Luckily, you found an equally intelligent soulmate that appreciates quirky.
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  #558  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:11
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Quote:
I don't think intelligence is a turn off, but being a bit alpha can be.

There are few things more tiresome than hanging around with someone with big dreams, who expects you to be equally ambitious and belittles you when you suggest that, well, actually, you don't want a BMW, that you don't want to go to Thailand on your holidays, that you actually rather like your turned up jeans and wrinkled t-shirt rather than an ironed shirt and chinos.

Give me clever and chilled over successful and driven any night of the week (well, not another one, as I like the one I've got, but you know what I mean...).
So you'll find a woman more attractive if she is more family oriented than career oriented?

I can live pretty well with that! Someone can have a very high IQ, lots of educations, ideas and knows a lot of thing without being a super woman in power who wants to become the next CEO of the biggest company. She can be happy with having a 9-5 job and coming home to you.

But even with that, is a man will dismiss her? Or will he dismiss someone more successful than him (pretending that career is very important for him). Is success more scary than intelligence?
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  #559  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:12
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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I've met you DB: you're intelligent in a quirky way. Luckily, you found a more intelligent soulmate that appreciates quirky.
Thank you.

... but I felt obliged to fix that for you...
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  #560  
Old 27.02.2011, 22:14
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Well if a man if afraid of a woman's success (we are not talking driven in the sense described by DB above, which is very different) then what does that say about him?

One of the mature students at my Uni was told by her husband, at breakfast, on the day of her finals, that he was leaving her and her daughters. He could have waited for the next day - but he wanted her to fail, despite the fact he had a rather glamorous career himself. She did not give him that satisfaction though- but got a 2.1 instead of a First, as she attended her exams with tears streaming down her face. She was well rid of him.
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