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  #981  
Old 09.03.2011, 16:55
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Well, at the risk of sticking my neck out, I would say that in your own case you are going for the wrong type of guy, ie, those who are already attached.
Or maybe all the interesting guys are taken...

Being single is ok, it's more an issue of other people making you feel like there is something WRONG with you when you're single. Like you failed at life...
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  #982  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:02
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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I don't want to keep these guys, just borrow them. In a way, it's better, everybody gets to make believe their life is totally ok the way it is.
Maybe you should start to look for a guy who wants you as the one and only. But it seems that you see yourself more like a second choice option....

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That's what Begga meant...

It's fine, I realise most women have a very black and white view about this and that I'm a perfect projection surface for all the insecurities that this whole subject unleashes. Until someone truly wrecks their home, then suddenly the bargaining starts, "you can have an affair, I just don't want to know about it, please don't leave me". Or they contact the mistress, want to meet her, make her feel like she is the devil incarnate. Honey, your HUSBAND strayed, not me... If it isn't me, it'll be some other girl.

But hey, let's get back on the topic. Unless it's now - why is it so hard to get a date with someone you want to see again and who will then stay faithful forever and ever...
I believe only the guy in this kind of situation is to blame. But I also believe that a woman who put herself in a situation with a already taken man has something to work on too.... Don't do to others what you don't want others do to you. Karma is a bitch.... it will backfire you.


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Well, at the risk of sticking my neck out, I would say that in your own case you are going for the wrong type of guy, ie, those who are already attached.
So right in there Nicola! Those guys won't rarely leave their woman for the second one. And if some women are happy to be the second one, maybe something is going on deep down that needs to be addressed.

One should never accept to be the second best...
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  #983  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:05
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Or maybe all the interesting guys are taken...

Being single is ok, it's more an issue of other people making you feel like there is something WRONG with you when you're single. Like you failed at life...
People will judge you no matter what the reason is:

Your size, your religion, your language, if you breastfeed or not, if you put earrings on your baby girl, if you circumcised your son, if you want a boob job, if you have a LV, if you have a porsche, etc...

So why bother to pay attention to what other people think....?
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  #984  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:14
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Being a smoker/a drinker/a drug user/fat is ok, it's more an issue of other people making you feel like there is something WRONG with you when you're a smoker/a drinker/a drug user/fat. Like you failed at life...
People can be pretty judgmental, can't they?
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  #985  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:16
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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So why to bother to pay attention to what other people think....?
I can honestly say I'm very true to myself, I do what makes me happy and do not try to live my life to please others and am actually am living pretty fulfilling life.
But I so know what Kittster means here, because when you are a single woman you won't escape the "so why are you single anyway?" discussion. Please drop it, I say. I just am, okay? I have been "officially" single for 2 years, but that doesn't mean I haven't got involved with anyone. Just nothing I'd consider serious so I didn't really advertise it.
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  #986  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:19
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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when you are a single woman you won't escape the "so why are you single anyway?"
Blokes get the same.

Except that we have the added joy of being thought a bit weird/probably gay/possibly even a kiddie fiddler if we're seen to be single for any significant length of time.

I'm sure we can all handle our Auntie Mildreds giving us the third degree every Christmas, though? It's not like being interrogated at Guantanamo, is it?
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  #987  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:22
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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People can be pretty judgmental, can't they?
I am not harming myself or others or costing society extra money by being single, right?
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  #988  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:25
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

it also depends if staying single will make you happy or whether you want to be in a relationship and not being in a relationship makes you unhappy.

sometimes, there are trade-offs and i know many women who are not prepared to make any trade-offs in one part of their life for another.

for me, i would be happy to be single forever. i have so little spare time as it is. however, i also feel that i have a solemn duty to humanity to spread my good genes and continue the MCR lineage.
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  #989  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:26
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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for me, i would be happy to be single forever. i have so little spare time as it is. however, i also feel that i have a solemn duty to humanity to spread my good genes and continue the MCR lineage.
Haha. One can donate at a sperm bank for that.
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  #990  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:29
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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I'm sure we can all handle our Auntie Mildreds giving us the third degree every Christmas, though? It's not like being interrogated at Guantanamo, is it?
he he - reminds me of the time when I was, erm, 'between marriages' and my mother introduced myself and my two sisters as "These are my eldest and youngest daughters, who are both married ... and this is my middle daughter, who is a spinster" !!!! (Not even factually correct, as I was divorcee!!)
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  #991  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:35
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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I am not harming myself or others or costing society extra money by being single, right?
Where did I suggest otherwise?
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  #992  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:35
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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And then there are those who are afraid of commitment...
Ah, commitmophobes...lovely sort of people
I never had patience for people who are scared.

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I don't want to keep these guys, just borrow them
Interesting concept, really...sounds like a theft, though, just labeled in more sophisticated way It is ok to date a single person, somebody who is not attached elsewhere and go through that agonizing phase of letting him decide if he wants you or not. Everybody goes through this.

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. In a way, it's better, everybody gets to make believe their life is totally ok the way it is.
You way too smart for make believe...

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I can honestly say I'm very true to myself, I do what makes me happy and do not try to live my life to please others and am actually am living pretty fulfilling life.
But I so know what Kittster means here, because when you are a single woman you won't escape the "so why are you single anyway?" discussion. Please drop it, I say. I just am, okay? I have been "officially" single for 2 years, but that doesn't mean I haven't got involved with anyone. Just nothing I'd consider serious so I didn't really advertise it.
I think it is all about terms one uses. If you walk around announcing you are single or use that label when people/friends/horndogs ask you, then you will get that annoying evil eye...if you keep your mystery smile and nod and say "I am seeing people" I am sure they will quit their frantic matchmaking efforts or pushing you to tie the knot, or making you feel bad for their envy.

It's true, how many pages of this and still going in circles. I was going to zap it because I am jealous I can't really participate in this debate, but, it is spring, people....the warm fuzzy feeling and all, talk of love, since that's what this thread really is about, innit Nice to see positive souls and well thought through concepts...
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  #993  
Old 09.03.2011, 17:55
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Ok guys its a lovely day outside, go and have a beer. Ladies take a break and go and do the dishes.

NEXT.
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  #994  
Old 09.03.2011, 18:24
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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I think it is all about terms one uses. If you walk around announcing you are single or use that label when people/friends/horndogs ask you, then you will get that annoying evil eye...if you keep your mystery smile and nod and say "I am seeing people" I am sure they will quit their frantic matchmaking efforts or pushing you to tie the knot, or making you feel bad for their envy.
Been there, done that.
Was seeing a guy few months before Christmas when my mum called me and announced that my sister just got a boyfriend and my brother also got a girlfriend and this happened in the same month.
Mum: "so how are you sweetheart?"
Me: "yeah, I've been seeing someone..."
Mum: "oh dear me, I must look for another bed before Christmas..."
Me: "excuse me?"
Mum: "well you are taking him home with you during Christmas, aren't you?!?!"
Never again.

Friends: "so how is it going with your lovelife?"
Me: "not bad actually, I'm pretty interested in a guy, but there is another guy from work who's pretty cute - no wait, there are actually 3 guys from work that I think I could pull, but I can't decide which one... here let me show you their fb profile and tell me what you think..."
Friends giving me the "what an arrogant b1atch" look... never again...

But, I'm not really loosing sleep over this. At the end of the day, it isn't really hard to find a date in Z.... WAIT! IN ZURICH???
50 woopin' pages of rubbish and it's all about ZURICH!!!

Okay, I'm off to the curry night!
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  #995  
Old 09.03.2011, 18:42
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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People can be pretty judgmental, can't they?
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I am not harming myself or others or costing society extra money by being single, right?
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Where did I suggest otherwise?
The things I find intolerable are all related to harmful behaviour patterns. Having dated people who fit into all those "don't" things, I have to say - never again.
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  #996  
Old 09.03.2011, 18:47
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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The things I find intolerable are all related to harmful behaviour patterns. Having dated people who fit into all those "don't" things, I have to say - never again.
Fair enough.

Have fun with that tiny pool of suitably perfect candidates... let's just hope you tick all their boxes.
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  #997  
Old 09.03.2011, 19:12
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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Fair enough.

Have fun with that tiny pool of suitably perfect candidates... let's just hope you tick all their boxes.
I don't and that's ok, if I want to be lied to, hurt and made to feel like sh*t again, I'll maybe waive one of the conditions and try for a relationship.
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  #998  
Old 09.03.2011, 19:15
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

That's why I was staring at your arse. I couldn't believe it was that close to the ground!

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ahh... let the merciless mockering begin....
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  #999  
Old 09.03.2011, 19:25
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

Yeah, there are patterns of obviously unhealthy habits, and then there are other patterns. Like being extremely afraid of rejection so trying to play very cool and un-invested person (some present themselves as "modern" this way), or being overly selective, or whatever..Every single person could find some kind of potential problem with oneself that others could possibly dislike, ie guys don't want me coz I wear glasses, or have degrees, or...uhm....like to gig...or...am too bony, or pale, or smirky, or could swap girls, or friends for guys in this concept, same shtick. And voila, a pattern is born. There is no reason to moan, there is all the reason to live, willing to try while being slightly hedonistic and accept some level of risk. I miss being a kid, no concept of risk, really. My daughter asked me to marry her, aaaahhh...

Yeah, Begs, people don't allow girls to be single and self sufficient, much, even less so if that girl is happy. But two years is nada, innit. There's no rush..
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  #1000  
Old 09.03.2011, 19:26
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Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)

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if I want to be lied to, hurt and made to feel like sh*t again
That's what it was like for me being engaged to a Swiss woman.
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