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03.01.2010 12:32

Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I hope my friends wont kill me for posting this.... :msncrazy:

While I am happily married for quite a few years, I have not one but THREE female friends who have been single ever since I have met them.

The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals in large multinationals (i.e., independent and good earners), and attractive. From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three. Oh! And they love sports and outdoors!

One of these friends tried actively the whole expat dating scene... unsuccessfully.
Another friend tried PARSHIP for a year now, unsuccessfully...
The other one is just way too picky and I doesnt look like she has tried beyond being set up from a limited circle of friends.

Any clues why is this? Any ideas how to get them out of their single-sein? None of them wants to stay single (otherwise I wouldnt be asking for help).

cannut 03.01.2010 12:49

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by paulita (Post 656319)
I hope my friends wont kill me for posting this.... :msncrazy:

While I am happily married for quite a few years, I have not one but THREE female friends who have been single ever since I have met them.

The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals in large multinationals (i.e., independent and good earners), and attractive. From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three. Oh! And they love sports and outdoors!

One of these friends tried actively the whole expat dating scene... unsuccessfully.
Another friend tried PARSHIP for a year now, unsuccessfully...
The other one is just way too picky and I doesnt look like she has tried beyond being set up from a limited circle of friends.

Any clues why is this? Any ideas how to get them out of their single-sein? None of them wants to stay single (otherwise I wouldnt be asking for help).

Yes about #3 ; she is to picky :D

bruce fielding 03.01.2010 12:51

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
This is not just a Zurich thing or a Swiss thing or a European thing. It's global. And it's a mystery.

I have just as many male friends who are also looking for soul mates / partners / someone to spend time with. And they seem to go through relationships unsuccessfully as well (based in London before you suggest some sort of arrangement!)

The only theory I have is that one is set in one's ways from about 30-35 years old and it's hard not to have a 'check list' against which to set ones expectations. It's also hard for successful men to decide on a more experienced, more mature, more confident woman, when they are just as attractive to the younger ones who they can impress (in every sense) more easily.

I think (can't prove it though) that the situation is getting better these days as age becomes less important externally (although it may be an internal factor in terms of self-positioning...)

Treverus 03.01.2010 13:00

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by paulita (Post 656319)
From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three.

Well, I guess it will get a bit non-PC, but the truth is: I see very few men with women that are more successful, higher educated or earn more then them. Seems to be an issue for many... do not ask me why, I do not know as I am the exception :D

So the more your friends got, the harder it might get to find a good date for them.

Chuff 03.01.2010 13:02

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by paulita (Post 656319)
I hope my friends wont kill me for posting this.... :msncrazy:

While I am happily married for quite a few years, I have not one but THREE female friends who have been single ever since I have met them.

The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals in large multinationals (i.e., independent and good earners), and attractive. From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three. Oh! And they love sports and outdoors!

One of these friends tried actively the whole expat dating scene... unsuccessfully.
Another friend tried PARSHIP for a year now, unsuccessfully...
The other one is just way too picky and I doesnt look like she has tried beyond being set up from a limited circle of friends.

Any clues why is this? Any ideas how to get them out of their single-sein? None of them wants to stay single (otherwise I wouldnt be asking for help).

Well think about it... the ex-pat scene ius not very big. So compared to being in their native country, the available pool of eligible batchelors and batchelorettes is going to be comparatively miniscule. Added on to this, if they are successful and senior professionaly in large multinationals then they are going to likely be looking for older, comparably financially equipped males in similar sectors. Those men of that age and career level that are likely here are probably already married, or have girlfriends.

They either need to learn German and try meeting the Swiss (loads who speak ENglish anyway), or get used to being single and frustrated.

bruce fielding 03.01.2010 13:08

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuff (Post 656348)
...if they are successful and senior professionaly in large multinationals then they are going to likely be looking for older, comparably financially equipped males in similar sectors.

Why? The same isn't true the other way around... Some women are perfectly happy with younger less successful companions in the same way that men are.

Treverus 03.01.2010 13:14

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuff (Post 656348)
batchelors

Are they batch processing singles? :D

Moonlightshadow 03.01.2010 13:15

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Well, I´m nice, modest and single. And no expat. But German. Any explanations?

simon_ch 03.01.2010 13:15

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonlightshadow (Post 656358)
Well, I´m nice, modest and single. And no expat. But German. Any explanations?

Given you a clue. :p

Chuff 03.01.2010 13:18

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bruce fielding (Post 656354)
Why? The same isn't true the other way around... Some women are perfectly happy with younger less successful companions in the same way that men are.

Bruce I was obviously generalising to a large extent, but a picky high-earning professional of more mature years is generally going to be looking for a male of similar stature. While im obviously not saying that love between a young male goat herder and a mature female company VP is theoretically impossible, it's probably not too not realistic.

As for why men like younger women, well... we are geared slightly differently.

deutschmaad 03.01.2010 13:19

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I'm Irish and single,
does nationality have anything to do with it?

Everyone likes the Irish! :cheers:

Treverus 03.01.2010 13:20

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by simon_ch (Post 656359)
Given you a clue. :p

To put it in your own words ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by simon_ch (Post 655235)
Oh for christs sake, first I thought you're just a silly troll, but now I believe you're just ignorant as ****.
1. Schweizerin heiratet Ausländer: 20.8%, Schweizer heriatet Ausländerin: 22.4%
Ausländerin heiratet Ausländer*: 6.5%
Laut Angaben des Bundesamtes für Statistik (BSF) sind im Jahr 2007 49.7% aller in der Schweiz geschlossenen Ehen binational.
45% der Schweizer Frauen heiraten Männer aus EU/EFTA-Staaten, 55% heiraten Männer aus Drittländern. Die Liste wird angeführt von Italien, Deutschland, Serbien/Montenegro, Nordafrika, Türkei sowie Frankreich.

35% der Schweizer Männer heiraten Frauen aus EU/EFTA Staaten, 65% heiraten Frauen aus Drittländern. Die Liste wird angeführt von Deutschland, Brasilien, Thailand, Italien, Serbien/Montenegro sowie Nordafrika.


Moonlightshadow 03.01.2010 13:24

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by simon_ch (Post 656359)
Given you a clue. :p

Lol, thanks. You mean I shouldn´t have mentioned my nationality? :p

Treverus 03.01.2010 13:31

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonlightshadow (Post 656369)
Lol, thanks. You mean I shouldn´t have mentioned my nationality? :p

I live here as a German for five years and have to tell you that some Swiss will not like you. They are noisy and will even fill the country with political posters, so you will be confronted with it, but since they are essentially the "less than average achiever" in terms of education, career, income or pretty much anything else, you do not need to worry: The ones who do have a lot of prejudice against you are not the ones you want to date anyway. :D (Probably true for all "Ausländer" and not only Germans)

Peg A 03.01.2010 13:32

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Treverus (Post 656345)
Well, I guess it will get a bit non-PC, but the truth is: I see very few men with women that are more successful, higher educated or earn more then them. Seems to be an issue for many... do not ask me why, I do not know as I am the exception :D

So the more your friends got, the harder it might get to find a good date for them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuff (Post 656348)
Well think about it... the ex-pat scene ius not very big. So compared to being in their native country, the available pool of eligible batchelors and batchelorettes is going to be comparatively miniscule. Added on to this, if they are successful and senior professionaly in large multinationals then they are going to likely be looking for older, comparably financially equipped males in similar sectors. Those men of that age and career level that are likely here are probably already married, or have girlfriends.

They either need to learn German and try meeting the Swiss (loads who speak ENglish anyway), or get used to being single and frustrated.


Speaking as someone who found her heart's desire in her thirties, I'll offer that these two are pretty close to how I see things.

While I'm not an über educated, financially successful, upper management, so on and so forth... while the men I met while I was single CLAIMED to want a woman who knew what she was about, independent both financially and socially... as things went on, the reality was that people in general (not just men) need their egos stroked a bit by their lover.

Since this is about gals getting dates though, we'll go with the man theme.

So, most men, while envisioning themselves married to someone who is their equal in all ways, tend not to date their equals. Maybe it is at least partially (a strong part) because it doesn't show them off to their friends the same way as a bubble-headed bimbo who won't rake them over the coals when she finds out about him bragging about their sexual exploits to his friends. Combine this with the <ahem> "knowledge" <ahem> that men tend not to actually want to be married in the first place or think that all women see dating as a necessary evil to our ultimate goal of marriage and you maybe see where the problem lay.

Also, respect itself is a problem. Men I know claim to want to be around respectable women but on the other hand, men also seem to have a rough time dating a woman they respect / feel obligated to act respectful toward.
Here is an example of what I mean: While I can picture a man saying to his pals "oh, man! Josie* had her hands all over me, even though we were in public, she <insert activity best left private here> See, look at the marks she left!" ... I can not as easily picture a guy saying "Jo* is so strong! You should have heard her go head-to-head against Mr.Humptyschmutz <insert corporate politics power play here>! She really raked him!"


Even with these imaginings of mine, I still also imagine that some of the guys on EF will take offense and say that no, they wouldn't prefer dating Josie* vs Jo*... experience tells me, this is not true in the general scheme of things.


*Both Josie and Jo are actually the same person but also is a fictitious character.

MacGregor's Daughter 03.01.2010 13:35

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I´m in my mid-30s, expat, senior professional, and attractive. :D
I wasn't looking for anyone and guess what: I found Mr. Right on a bar stool in a pub. If you try too hard you are less likely to achieve what you want. Then again I see that the older you get the less time you have left to start a family.

sanju4u 03.01.2010 13:38

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Hey, I have the same experience with two of my friends,( both male).
They often talk to me about their loneliness.They are also working with MNC, with good earning and they are looking for some partner or just friend to share their time , feeling whatever ..... but obviously some female with whom they can go to Bars, Discos or just sit arround the lake....
These are their words which I am sharing with you:rolleyes:... and they are not going to kill me as ,have taken their permission rather they were interested to post this for them;).....




Quote:

Originally Posted by paulita (Post 656319)
I hope my friends wont kill me for posting this.... :msncrazy:

While I am happily married for quite a few years, I have not one but THREE female friends who have been single ever since I have met them.

The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals in large multinationals (i.e., independent and good earners), and attractive. From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with any of the three. Oh! And they love sports and outdoors!

One of these friends tried actively the whole expat dating scene... unsuccessfully.
Another friend tried PARSHIP for a year now, unsuccessfully...
The other one is just way too picky and I doesnt look like she has tried beyond being set up from a limited circle of friends.

Any clues why is this? Any ideas how to get them out of their single-sein? None of them wants to stay single (otherwise I wouldnt be asking for help).


Glenville 03.01.2010 13:43

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Hmm. Do any of them want to learn how to roll a kayak?
;-)

Treverus 03.01.2010 13:45

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenville (Post 656388)
Hmm. Do any of them want to learn how to roll a kayak?
;-)

This is the most creative pick up line of the year so far... :D

Chuff 03.01.2010 13:45

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenville (Post 656388)
Hmm. Do any of them want to learn how to roll a kayak?
;-)

I'm sure many could bake a nice kayak.

Glenville 03.01.2010 13:49

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuff (Post 656391)
I'm sure many could bake a nice kayak.

now you got me with that one, RD...
Where Ah come from, ya needs a BIG ROTATING MOLD to bake a kayak, and a big sack of powdered polyethelene. :D :D :D
Must be a dish I'm not familiar with..
:cool:

Fraser 03.01.2010 13:51

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I'd start by looking at the title of the thread. The bit that catches my attention is the "in Zurich" part. I really don't feel that being in Zurich is going to make any difference as to whether you will find a date or not. In fact, I'd say that the "in Zurich" part is an excuse that I've heard many people tack on to the end of their complaint, making it clear that there's absolutely nothing wrong with them or their approach to finding a partner, but it's somehow the city's fault.

When I first came to Zurich I couldn't believe how easy it was to meet the fairer sex. I gave it some thought and decided that it was easy because being here felt like being on an extended holiday and as a result I was completely relaxed. Nothing will scare off a member of the opposite sex as appearing desperate or obsessed with finding a partner.

Further contemplation gave rise to the conclusion that meeting someone in an expat community is easy. There's a large chance that the person you are talking to is also happy to make new friends because they too are in a foreign country and missing the circle of friends that you only build up over time. There's a steady influx of new arrivals in Zurich and they're all out to make new friends.

My advice to your single friends is to not to see every single male they meet as a potential mate. That - I guarantee - will scare men away instantly. Go out, socialise, enjoy life and make as many friends as possible, and relax in the knowledge that nature will take care of the rest.

Just for gods sake stop worrying about it.

cannut 03.01.2010 14:00

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenville (Post 656388)
Hmm. Do any of them want to learn how to roll a kayak?
;-)


Never mind rolling a kayak .After my wife fell out of our canoe I have to paddle by myself :msnblush:

Moonlightshadow 03.01.2010 14:09

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cannut (Post 656398)
Never mind rolling a kayak .After my wife fell out of our canoe I have to paddle by myself :msnblush:

What effected you the most: that your wife fell out of the canoe or that you had to paddle by yourself? :D

Guest 03.01.2010 14:14

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by paulita (Post 656319)
I hope my friends wont kill me for posting this.... :msncrazy:

While I am happily married for quite a few years, I have not one but THREE female friends who have been single ever since I have met them.

The three are in their late 30's early 40's, and what they have in common is: they are expat, they are senior professionals

I stopped reading there. :D

Shinigami 03.01.2010 14:17

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656395)
I really don't feel that being in Zurich is going to make any difference as to whether you will find a date or not. In fact, I'd say that the "in Zurich" part is an excuse that I've heard many people tack on to the end of their complaint, making it clear that there's absolutely nothing wrong with them or their approach to finding a partner, but it's somehow the city's fault.

True I guess, I could say the same thing about Geneva; "Oh, it's so haaaard to meet people here in Geneva these days!" :msnblush:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656395)
When I first came to Zurich I couldn't believe how easy it was to meet the fairer sex. I gave it some thought and decided that it was easy because being here felt like being on an extended holiday and as a result I was completely relaxed. Nothing will scare off a member of the opposite sex as appearing desperate or obsessed with finding a partner.

I fully agree with this. I find myself so relaxed... TOO relaxed when on vacation, business trip etc. Very easy to find a fling that way or at least get to the point where all you need to do is make that little move and she or he is in your arms (mind you, I never made such a move in the past 7 years as I was in a relationship, and yet I travelled 6 months a year on business trips... the temptation was huge, but I'm very much a "devoted" person and believe in staying true to my current parther).

But over here, it just feels too much like "home" (which it of course is), and you seem to know so many people and bump into so many of them wherever you are. So not only are you slightly embarrased or nervous when eyeing up potential mates, you're also worried about bumping into people you know whilst "on the job" (if you see what I mean).

No, not a problem for everyone and I'm exaggerating a little bit, but there's something about it being "harder" here where I live, than elsewhere when I travel out a bit farther. Just the beast of the game I guess :msnsarcastic:

Treverus 03.01.2010 14:18

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonlightshadow (Post 656402)
What effected you the most: that your wife fell out of the canoe or that you had to paddle by yourself? :D

My guess is that this was a bit figurative and nobody really fell out of a canoe ;)

Glenville 03.01.2010 14:21

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656395)
When I first came to Zurich I couldn't believe how easy it was to meet the fairer sex.

With all due respect, sir, this is 180.0° opposed to what I've heard till now.
People in that town - esp attractive women - look you up and down like jewelers to assess how expensive your clothes are. A close Swiss friend of mine in the fashion industry tells me her friends from Paris are intimidated by this ZH 'dress code'. Being a down-home ('use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without') Yankee, I suffered from this for a long time, but have decided I don't need those people in my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656395)
I gave it some thought and decided that it was easy because being here felt like being on an extended holiday and as a result I was completely relaxed.

But this is a novel idea (at least for me!) - you're right, when I'm traveling, I find myself naturally striking up conversations with many more people, including attractive women; I'm much more open & willing to take the risk than I am here 'at home'. Hmmm. I will try your method! :)

Tell her not to fall out
:-o
;-)
sorry I just had to.

deutschmaad 03.01.2010 14:25

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656395)
I'd start by looking at the title of the thread. The bit that catches my attention is the "in Zurich" part. I really don't feel that being in Zurich is going to make any difference as to whether you will find a date or not. In fact, I'd say that the "in Zurich" part is an excuse that I've heard many people tack on to the end of their complaint, making it clear that there's absolutely nothing wrong with them or their approach to finding a partner, but it's somehow the city's fault.

When I first came to Zurich I couldn't believe how easy it was to meet the fairer sex. I gave it some thought and decided that it was easy because being here felt like being on an extended holiday and as a result I was completely relaxed. Nothing will scare off a member of the opposite sex as appearing desperate or obsessed with finding a partner. -


Lol, there could be some truth in that it's the city's fault!

whats your secret for meeting the opposite sex??

Moonlightshadow 03.01.2010 14:26

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Treverus (Post 656407)
My guess is that this was a bit figurative and nobody really fell out of a canoe ;)

Oh my God... I´m sorry... :msnblush: That´s really embarrasing now.

Fraser 03.01.2010 14:28

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenville (Post 656410)
With all due respect, sir, this is 180.0° opposed to what I've heard till now.
People in that town - esp attractive women - look you up and down like jewelers to assess how expensive your clothes are.

And with all due respect, I suggest you reconsider the social events and venues you attend.

Designer clothes and expensive handbags are no substitute for a personality.

cannut 03.01.2010 14:30

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonlightshadow (Post 656402)
What effected you the most: that your wife fell out of the canoe or that you had to paddle by yourself? :D

I won`t go into details here :msncrazy:,but paddling by myself was the easy part :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treverus (Post 656407)
My guess is that this was a bit figurative and nobody really fell out of a canoe ;)

I forgive you for this statement because you are German :msnnerd:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenville (Post 656412)
Tell her not to fall out
:-o
;-)
sorry I just had to.

I did , but what you want she is Irish :rolleyes::msngrin:

Treverus 03.01.2010 14:42

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fraser (Post 656417)
And with all due respect, I suggest you reconsider the social events and venues you attend.

Designer clothes and expensive handbags are no substitute for a personality.

The truth is somewhere between your two opinions. I must say that I in principle agree to Glendyn: There are damn many "trophy wifes in spe" in Zurich. They are looking at your car, watch and any other sign of your wealth. I do know some fairly wealthy guys here who are bored to get reduced to the Porsche they drive - I find it very entertaining to hear bankers or lawyers complaining about "the materialistic view some have on the world" :D

On the other hand is there a colorful social life in Zurich and you do not need to go to the latest posh place, but have plenty of alternatives. I for one found some of those alternatives weird in their own sense... I would say that it is only me, but I have the feeling that if so many complain about Zurich, it cannot be always only themselves. (I am not only talking about dates as I have no need for those ;) - "regular" contacts an friends are the same story here...)

cannut 03.01.2010 14:54

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonlightshadow (Post 656402)
What effected you the most: that your wife fell out of the canoe or that you had to paddle by yourself? :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treverus (Post 656407)
My guess is that this was a bit figurative and nobody really fell out of a canoe ;)

Ups! the penny fell,filthy minded people here :rofl::rofl:But it really happened :msnnerd:

Treverus 03.01.2010 14:59

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cannut (Post 656440)
Ups! the penny fell,filthy minded people here :rofl::rofl:But it really happened :msnnerd:

Ok, so I over-interpreted you... sorry. I am used to this here...people speak in riddles and I am still trying to figure out what "baking a kayak" could potentially mean?

gbn 03.01.2010 15:03

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Stop reading Cosmopolitan etc and accept the fact that any bloke who meets the Mr Right ideals will be gay.

aka "Compromise"

A quick Google turned up this: Can't find Mr. Right? Compromise, don't settle and this too

cannut 03.01.2010 15:07

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Treverus (Post 656442)
Ok, so I over-interpreted you... sorry. I am used to this here...people speak in riddles and I am still trying to figure out what "baking a kayak" could potentially mean?

May be the female do not Fancy to roll a kayak,there More interested in baking .Penny falling :D And no need to be sorry ,made me laugh:p

litespeed 03.01.2010 15:16

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
TTIUWP (This Thread Is Useless Without Pics) ;)

Guest 03.01.2010 15:18

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I'm with those in this thread who suggest that your friends stop looking. Tell them to drop the dating websites, the parsnips, and all that other 'goal oriented' nonsense and just get out there and live.

So long as a person is actively seeking a partner, people around them will part like the Red Sea. Desperation is obvious - you can see it in their eyes.

Tell them to go to events, have fun, get drunk (if that's their thing), enjoy pointless persiflage, forget that they are 'professionals' and just enjoy the company of others - whether those others be bankers, artists, layabouts, drunkards, accountants, teachers, full-time mothers or wandering holy men. OK, maybe not bankers, perhaps... but people, real people that aren't in their line of work, and don't give a fig for the label on their handbags or the size of their salaries.

They should not seek a particular kind of man, nor should they reject a particular kind of man. They should not, above all, attempt to alter a man to suit their whims (telling him he is too fat or doesn't earn enough will not encourage him to lose weight or get another job... he will simply stop replying to your text messages... yes, dear: You know who you are).

Ticklists are absolutely out of order. If I'd adhered to a ticklist when I met my Learned Companion, then I'd still be living a life of entertaining, but ultimately pointless, bacchanalian excess. She met none of my normal criteria, with the exception of being a woman, and I thank God every day that she didn't.

Let your friends allow themselves to be surprised, disappointed, misled, entertained, bored to death.

But, more than anything else, tell them to ditch the 'professional' label. If anything is guaranteed to induce instant penile droopage, that phrase takes the biscuit.

Or at least it shares the biscuit with "I used to be a man".

Wish them luck from me! :)

litespeed 03.01.2010 15:36

Re: Why is it so hard to find a date in Zurich?! (hope my friends wont kill me)
 
I tend to agree with DB.

It is the cruel phenomenon that inflicts many middle-age female professionals...they put their personal lives (and dreams) on hold to climb the career ladder. Unfortunately for many, the sudden desire to put personal lives upfront comes crashing through when they realise their time to start a family is running out. And suddenly the joy of socialising becomes a task of desperation.

If they enjoy sports and outdoors, there is a start. There are plenty of outdoor event portals (EF is one of them) where they can meet others. Short term, they need to drop their standards and have fun...long term they need to compromise and determine what they are prepared to sacrifice for companionship.

And if they are proffesionals, another word of advice. In business, there are dream employees, colleagues, and managers. But in our late 30's/early 40's, there is no such thing as a dream partner...every has baggage of some stage by this time.


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