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  #121  
Old 14.11.2011, 18:11
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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I tell them that I`m only visiting the city for the weekend.
Yeah, tried that, sadly, they then see you again the next day and are somehow not perceptive enough to understand "she lied to me about living here, she must really not be interested". And it really has nothing to do with my looks, Western Europeans never, ever hit on me, so I still stand by my passport theory...
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  #122  
Old 14.11.2011, 18:30
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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Does anyone know how I can be better at defusing such situations? I am not interested in being "friends" with random guys who call after me and who have absolutely nothing in common with me. I just want to be left alone when I'm transferring from A to B, why is that so hard to understand? Of course it was my fault, I wore a dress for the first time in a long time, clearly I must be gagging for it! At least that's what it feels like...
ask him if he would like to have sex. getting rid of him after that is pretty easy and left as an exercise for the reader, regardless of the answer he gives.
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  #123  
Old 14.11.2011, 18:35
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

The only time I've ever been followed (in recent memory!) was within a week of moving here. He followed me from store to store in broad daylight. It scared me to death and I finally lost him in Migros. The last thing I wanted was for him to follow me all the way home. This has never happened to me in the U.S., and I would be petrified if it did because there it would most certainly mean bad news (for one thing, it's just not done, so the man would have to have nefarious intentions). I wasn't sure what this guy was thinking. He wasn't subtle enough to want to steal from me. I'm not 22 any more. I did look quite American on that particular day since I had been living out of a suitcase for two months. It's very disconcerting when this happens, so I feel for you Kittster. God forbid you are good-looking AND friendly!
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  #124  
Old 14.11.2011, 18:36
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

it doesn't seem to be common in europe, but apparently in some places people do follow women home. i guess if it works out, you're conveniently located near a bedroom
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  #125  
Old 14.11.2011, 18:54
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

I pretend I am deaf. I show my hear and shake my head. Works well.

Practice an evil look in the mirror and give it to them.
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  #126  
Old 14.11.2011, 19:38
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

If the chatting up attempt is in German, I ignore and move on. If they persist, I tell them I don't speak any German and I am not interested. This is the only time ever I am glad my German is cr*p

If the chatting up is in another language (or, per the above, the chatter-up is not deterred and still persists in another language) I pull out my phone and tell them I have no time to talk because I have to call my husband. It's an "imaginary husband" of course, but they don't know that Seems to be working though...

The funniest one is when two guys say something to each other about you in a language they think you don't understand, but you do, and you let them know so. Their face of shock is priceless, hehehe...
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  #127  
Old 14.11.2011, 20:52
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

I really don't like being rude to people but when some bloke sees me in the street, follows me around and persists in trying to persuade me to give him my number after being repeatedly and politely told I need to discuss it with my husband first (or other similar comment) but all to no avail, then my whole demeanour and language output changes, so far with remarkably good effect.

Not so long ago, I stopped ever so suddenly, turned round with clenched fists and squared up to a chappie young enough to be my son, who was blatantly following me and asked him pointblank what he wanted both in German and English in a very angry tone. He was completely thrown off guard. Looked at me with a slightly bemused look, chuckled and crossed over to the other side of the road, jumped on a bike and rode off as fast as he could.

Tsk! Tsk! Darn whippersnappers!

EDIT: Going back to the original thread question. No, I don't think there is such a thing as partial racism. One either is, or they isn't IMHO.
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Last edited by ximix; 14.11.2011 at 21:10.
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  #128  
Old 14.11.2011, 21:26
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

Kittster, the mistake is in talking to these men in the first place. You KNOW that they are not random lost people who are about to ask for directions to anywhere. So don't engage with them to start with. There is no need to feel that you have to be sweet, polite or kind. Ignore! And if they are persistant or begin to follow you, then get nasty. Swear confidently at them, show you annoyance, be prepared to shout ( and therefore gain the attention of others ) if you feel at all threatened.

Your earlier post re the man who followed you home without you realising it - ugh! Be aware of those around you, perhaps don't be involved with your phone or ipod when you are out and about. You were probably very lucky that your "stalker" did not come back to your place at a later date........ Seriously, I am sure that any respectable male would agree with my comments.
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  #129  
Old 14.11.2011, 21:34
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

Never ever engage in a conversation or having a word with these guys, you never know what they are capable of. Mutism is the key, even or especially when they throw insults at you.
It's not about racism here, just staying on the safe side.
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  #130  
Old 14.11.2011, 21:44
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

Don't think it has anything to do with racism. It's more about unsolicited attention from random strange men.

This happens, tis best to pay careful attention to one's surroundings when out and about.
Though I'm quite hopeless at taking this advice myself and I'm always lost in thought and can be quite startled.
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  #131  
Old 14.11.2011, 21:58
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

I try to ignore them, pretend I didn't hear, that's what I was doing with the latest example on Saturday, but he ended up standing right in front of me, saying "hey, why you ignoring me, I know you!" really loudly. I said "no I don't, please don't talk to me". And so it went.

You are right, I should be more stubborn and just stay totally mute but they really do get worked up when I do that. It's ever so uncomfortable. One guy grabbed me by the arm because I was not paying attention to him, I turned around, looked him straight in the eye and said very quietly that he had three seconds to leave before I call the police. He left but not before saying a few nasty things.

Maybe I'll just go straight to that in future, just call the fuzz on them after a first "leave me alone". I try not to get anywhere near these men in the first place, by the way, I tend to scan the area for the usual suspects and avoid getting close or put my headphones in and blast music too loudly to hear anything or pretend to be on the phone. There should be an app for that, pretend conversations, where the phone asks you stuff and you answer.
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  #132  
Old 14.11.2011, 22:35
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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  #133  
Old 14.11.2011, 22:42
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Ask what's their name as you work for the BFM, that should see them off quickly !
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  #134  
Old 14.11.2011, 22:50
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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Never ever engage in a conversation or having a word with these guys, you never know what they are capable of. Mutism is the key, even or especially when they throw insults at you.
It's not about racism here, just staying on the safe side.
Actually, it happens quite a bit here to me as well...not responding does not work since it just provokes them into pushing for reaction. Pretending to call cops being on the cell either, since it just pishes them off, it's too confrontational and they only feel ignored. I usually ignore if they look like they run out of steam, and if I can't anymore, the best so far that paid off, is to slow down the talk, super slow and super loud, while you move towards some bystenders and safety. Like, "what happened? what? really? what? you need me to call police? or hospital?"..playing loud dumb girl is the biggest turn off, the loud talk really attracts other people attention while I move to safety, somebody's presence, etc. The super slow pace of loud talk throws them off the balance as well. People usually run off really fast. Quiet threatening smart wisecracks or disciplining voice never worked, it just pushes them into violence. But I don't think it is a racial issue, either, just harassment. I have had some really weird things shouted at me..
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Last edited by MusicChick; 15.11.2011 at 11:04.
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  #135  
Old 15.11.2011, 00:45
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

Followed you home? Doesn't matter how polite that creep sound, he's a creep, full stop.
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  #136  
Old 15.11.2011, 09:35
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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I really don't like being rude to people but when some bloke sees me in the street, follows me around and persists in trying to persuade me to give him my number after being repeatedly and politely told I need to discuss it with my husband first (or other similar comment) but all to no avail, then my whole demeanour and language output changes, so far with remarkably good effect.
So, what is your number then......?
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  #137  
Old 15.11.2011, 09:40
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?
I think yes, it is possible to be partially racist.
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  #138  
Old 15.11.2011, 09:52
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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I think yes, it is possible to be partially racist.
Yeah, I feel the same. I am normally very tolerant with legs and faces, but upper torsos and arms really get me, especially if they're too sunburned.

They come over here to take away our jobs, use our toilet paper and have their wicked ways with our women and pets.....
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  #139  
Old 15.11.2011, 09:58
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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I think yes, it is possible to be partially racist.
I agree with Nil there. I'm a fiercy defender of human rights, but there is one specific ethnic group which bothers me. It's wrong and I know it, but a very unfortunate encounter left the scared for life.


As for following you home and around the city: that is creppy! And like everyone said, it doesn't matter if the guy is green or purple, you just don't do that! But another point of view, the only people that pick up conversation with me in the train are old men. Somehow I'm jealous...
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  #140  
Old 15.11.2011, 10:02
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Re: Is there such a thing as being "partially racist"?

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So, what is your number then......?
Try any random selection of numbers. Bound to work sooner or later!

EDIT: That's the polite response by the way!

Last edited by ximix; 15.11.2011 at 12:31. Reason: clarification
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