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  #61  
Old 25.06.2010, 18:22
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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OMG! Sudden flashback to my childhood! That was all I heard as a child and unfortunately for my children, that is what they are starting to hear now.

Why is it that we end up turning into our parents??
Oh, I did that once! My son was messing around upstairs, and after a period of escalating nagging, I opened my mouth and out came 'Don't make me come up there!' in EXACTLY the same tone as my mother. Plus I had no idea what I would actually do if he DID make me come up there...

*take big pinch of salt here, depends on individual circumstances, siblings that can't be in a room without killing each other, etc*

Two kids is ace, though. Sure, there's some juggling of schedules, but like everything with kids it gets easier as they age (I say this because mine aren't teenage yet...). If I only had one, I'd have spent lots more time playing tea parties than I wanted to.

And you know that 'awww... cute...' feeling when you see your kid being nice to other littlies at playgroups? x a thousand when both kids are yours.

And if you get cross and yell at one, they go and find their sibling for complaints and commiserations, and get to gang up together at the idea of 'horrid old Mummy', which is very bonding for them and much nicer than a single child brooding in their room that Mummy doesn't love them anymore.

I think one child is easier for the parents, who feel the pressure of juggling two sets of needs and have to deal with the constant sensation of never quite doing anything child-related thoroughly and properly (more so for working parents). Fortunately, if you juggle well then kids mostly don't seem to notice they're being short-changed.

But I think two children is easier/more fun for the kids.

kodokan
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  #62  
Old 25.06.2010, 18:26
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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Try doing it with 4 of the little blood suckers!!

I'm just praying that the all go on to extremely well paying jobs to keep me in the life style that I can't have now!!

This is funny! I hope your wish will come true
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  #63  
Old 25.06.2010, 18:29
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

..Daddy guilt while being at work sucks.
..Typing this while one toddler gets to sleep carried on my back is giving me a kink
..Most of you non-parents think of the parent as a breeder who couldn't possibly be good for anything else so that is why they breed. This goes 1000x worse for the woman. In my case the woman has a higher education and.. certainly has a higher EQ. My male pride cannot confirm nor deny this with regards to IQ. (It's me!)
..1 is not enough, 2 is too many (I have 3)


CK
I don't have kids now, I want 3...I wonder if someone will want to 'make' 3 kids with me...but I really really want kids!
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  #64  
Old 25.06.2010, 18:32
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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Ha!hahaha! The way things are going I think we can be happy if they visit us in the old folks home once every 6 months after we let them dump us there in the first place.

Funny but kind of sad ...
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  #65  
Old 25.06.2010, 22:20
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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I never referee squabbles. I'm equally harsh with both of them. I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it.

Good advice think ill take that, why is it I just cant think of these things myself, my head is like mush being around the blighters all day,why have I been wasting my time punishing either one? Best just punish them both, although my eldest is quite smart she will probably weigh up the punishment she will endur just to whack the other one and get him punnished too!
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  #66  
Old 25.06.2010, 22:30
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

I am sorry, but this thing about having more then 1 kid because of the ''in case'' he dies....

It most be a joke! Isn't it?
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  #67  
Old 25.06.2010, 22:44
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

I'm afraid not Nil, some parent think like that.. if i had to think that way i would think more of my own death actually.. if I die, or we, my hubby and I die while they are still very young, at least they would still have each other..
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  #68  
Old 26.06.2010, 00:38
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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bet you five quid that you will not be able to sit still at all, and when the kids get older you'll end up getting dogs

Exactly what we did. It helped the kids get along better too as the dogs didn't like the kids fighting.
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  #69  
Old 26.06.2010, 12:11
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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I don't have kids now, I want 3...I wonder if someone will want to 'make' 3 kids with me...but I really really want kids!
all you can do is keep practising

But make sure that many of the things on your list of "these are the things I want to do in life" are done.

eg: see the 24 hour sun (in Norway), New Years on the Champs Élysées, Cycle around Iceland, horse trekking through Mongolia.. Of course all things are possible with kids, it just takes much more planning.

And don't make the list too long, else you wont have time for kids until you're 70..
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  #70  
Old 26.06.2010, 12:51
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

...because this planet is overpopulated already.
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  #71  
Old 26.06.2010, 13:16
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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I am sorry, but this thing about having more then 1 kid because of the ''in case'' he dies....

It most be a joke! Isn't it?

Of course it's a joke!!!

The real reason for having more than you actually want is that you can decide which ones you want to keep and which ones to sell into slavery.
.
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  #72  
Old 26.06.2010, 15:39
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

I thought the real reason for having more kids was if one misbehaves...
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  #73  
Old 26.06.2010, 22:25
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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LOL!!!! No one is saying have 10 kids for that reason, just everyone should have at least 2 if they can.


So if they have only one child and they could have more but don't want to, it makes them bad parents?

Gosh! I must be a selfish sociopath...

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  #74  
Old 26.06.2010, 23:28
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

My husband grew up in a family of 4. His sister died at 21 nearly 40 years ago and his brother just died earlier this year, almost 55, so I guess it does happen. Imagine burying two adult children tho... my father in law has had that lucky experience. It's tough no matter when it happens.



Still i firmly believe that you should have as many kids as you can handle and don't sweat it. Even if that number is 0.
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  #75  
Old 27.06.2010, 00:46
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

I firmly believe in every persons right to have no kids, one kid, 3 kids or 8 kids whatever works best for that couple and their circumstances - and to not be subject to judgement from others because of their choice.

I am the eldest of 3. My father is an only. (He is one of the most sociable people I know - lonely and without friends would be the very last way to describe him) My mother one of 4. I have one child - a conscious decision for many reasons. I know lots of people who have chosen for various reasons to stay at one. I know of others who have chosen a larger family.

I know many people (including my husband) who have siblings who they have no relationship or even a bitter relationship with. And others who have good relationships. Some live in different countries and continents - my husband lives 3 streets away from his brother and yet I see my cousins in the UK more than he sees his brother. No logic - just life!

Some people die young - some parents die young. Some parents kill all their kids, some kids kill their parents. Plenty of parents with kids kill or try to kill themselves. The world is not a black and white place where we get to tick a box and choose "Box A - Happy family with 2 kids, a dog and a nice house, later grandkids and big Hollywood type Christmases with the extended family." Sure it might happen sometimes. Many other times the dream dies with the divorce of the parents and the kids split between 2 homes and if they are unlucky subject to huge mental suffering. These things happen - it's how life is. And we make the best of it - and try not to judge the people going through it because lets face it - we really have no idea of what's going on inside another persons mind and life. Most people make the best of their own set of circumstances and situation with the cards they've been dealt.

Sometimes the arrogance/ignorance of people with more than one child just takes my breath away. In my time I've heard things like, "we're a proper family now we have 2 children". And other statements criticizing parents of only children.

There are been countless studies conducted into whether being an only is detrimental to children. Of course you'll always get anecdotal views on how being an only was so terrible, as well as how it was just hell living with siblings who were cruel or bullying. In other words - extremes.

Statistically only children fair just as well (if not better) than children with siblings in education. They are no less social, (in fact I've noticed that without the presence of siblings - only children have to cultivate the confidence to get out there and relate to others from a very early age) and they generally grow up to be just as balanced (or imbalanced!) as anyone else.

Yes of course there are things to be missed about not having siblings - but siblings at any cost? I don't think so. And not to forget there are also things to be gained too from being an only child.

I seldom hear parents of only children righteously having a go at parents of more than one child telling them that their decision is detrimental to the development of the child and I would really hope for the same respect from parents of more than one. We are all parents!!

It's like (another thing that makes me uncomfortable) when people who have children say things like, "people without children, really never know what it is to really truly unselfishly love another". I've heard people say this - that astonishes me - I mean who are we to judge?
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  #76  
Old 27.06.2010, 05:39
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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So if they have only one child and they could have more but don't want to, it makes them bad parents?

Gosh! I must be a selfish sociopath...

No no not at all! I don't mean this in a serious way like that. There is nothing wrong with having only one child or 10 children, nothing at all. Whatever works best for the parents. I certainly would not want anyone to have a child that they truely didn't want just so they can have more than one. Just like I would not want someone to keep having more than they can handle just because they want attention like octomom.
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  #77  
Old 27.06.2010, 11:14
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

i wasn't going to read that because it was so long..
anyway..


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Some people die young - some parents die young.
Yes. Its the way of the world.
In fact, statistically speaking, everyone will die at some point in their life.
But there is no point in living your life, focused on this one moment.

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...Statistically only children fair just as well (if not better) than children with siblings in (formal) education.
Of this idea I am also aware.
I see in friends with one kid, how much time they can invest in teaching that one child.
Those with more, spend every moment juggling.
And then I also see that all the children in a family also learn from each other.
If you have 7 kids, no doubt the elder ones are helping the younger ones, and therefore are also learning how to teach.
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  #78  
Old 27.06.2010, 11:47
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

Well if these are the only reasons to not have more than 1 kid I'd say go live in a country where all these things don't matter one bit.
I think there are still some untamed tribes out there somewhere in some jungle you know ...


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- if you're trying to do homework with 1 kid, another is bound to be somehow distracting you both, so that no-one can concentrate.
- Kindergarten starts at 8am, School at 8.20 - in the first weeks you walk Kid 2 to kindergarten - if Kid 2 objects to staying, or to you leaving, Kid 1 will be late for school (you are supposed to walk them to school too)
- end of year leaving doos for school/kindergarten/playgroup are bound to fall on the same day.
- no child is ever satisfied with "their share" of you if you have more than 1..

This of course assumes that it is a good idea to breed at all. But who else will pay for my pension?!
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  #79  
Old 27.06.2010, 13:37
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Re: Having more than 1 kid is a really bad idea because...

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all you can do is keep practising

But make sure that many of the things on your list of "these are the things I want to do in life" are done.

eg: see the 24 hour sun (in Norway), New Years on the Champs Élysées, Cycle around Iceland, horse trekking through Mongolia.. Of course all things are possible with kids, it just takes much more planning.

And don't make the list too long, else you wont have time for kids until you're 70..

Oh yes!. I have been thinking about some things I want to do. Is just I'm an adventurous, active person and I always have something in my mind I want to do...
I want to do everything I want first, because after I will have my babies I want to be with them 24/7 and true- if you have kids it doesn't mean you can't do anything anymore, you can have fun with your kids anytime you want and where you want BUT some things you just have to do alone....
Otherwise I will get frustrated that I didn't do the things I wanted to do and when I will have my kids I wish I will feel 'complete' so I can take very good care of them .
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  #80  
Old 29.06.2010, 10:19
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Why 1 child is enough for you?

I've been thinking a lot these days about having 1-2 or more kids. And this specific thread was the reason of it.

I thought it will be a thread about the nice things to have only 1 child, but it turned to how having more kids it much better!

Maybe some of you can't have more then 1. Maybe you can but don't want too,

So if you have 1 child and are happy this way, please share with me / us (if I am not alone) who is not looking to have more kids.

And Gosh, I am tired of this kind of comments.

Last edited by Nil; 29.06.2010 at 10:33.
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