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View Poll Results: So how important is Marriage to you?
I strongly believe in it. 99 68.28%
It did not work out for me. 18 12.41%
I don't believe in marriages. 20 13.79%
we married to ease "visa work" and stay together 14 9.66%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 145. You may not vote on this poll

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  #81  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:00
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

A massive ball and chain around your neck!
Interested to hear peoples comments.....even though they are not married! Get married then quote.
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  #82  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:02
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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A massive ball and chain around your neck!
... followed by a swim in the Limmat, is exactly what you need.
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  #83  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:06
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

So do people get a free pass for needlessly bumping a thread when they're hormonal?
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  #84  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:07
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Yes,

We are in such a world now where everything as to be achieve, done, get very fast. And when something doesn't work the way we want, we throw it out right away! People are not ready to make sacrifice and work hard to get something, to keep something, to build something.

I would actually dissagree on this one.

I am willing to sacrifice and work hard for a job, recognition, money and/or fame. But the perfect relationship, one with someone I would marry, wouldn't take any effort at all, it would just exist.
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  #85  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:11
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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I would actually dissagree on this one.

I am willing to sacrifice and work hard for a job, recognition, money and/or fame. But the perfect relationship, one with someone I would marry, wouldn't take any effort at all, it would just exist.

Yea, but you have to put some efforts , to make it that effortless
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  #86  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:12
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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I would actually dissagree on this one.

I am willing to sacrifice and work hard for a job, recognition, money and/or fame. But the perfect relationship, one with someone I would marry, wouldn't take any effort at all, it would just exist.
I can only disagree. You can't build a successful career or empire without sweat, pain and hard work. Same with a successful mariage. It doesn't have to be like that the whole way. But it is going to happen. And knowing that help you to see with perspective when hard times happen.

You won't throw out your job at the first disagreement, wouldn't you? Marriage should be the same.
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  #87  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:13
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Yea, but you have to put some efforts , to make it that effortless

I guess I'm just a lazy person, maybe effort means something totally different to me. If effort is required to get to know somebody, that usually tells me we're not compatible....neeext.
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  #88  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:13
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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So do people get a free pass for needlessly bumping a thread when they're hormonal?
Nope but people who annoyed them get into a lot of trouble to mess with their hormones...
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  #89  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:16
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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I can only disagree. You can't build a successful career or empire without sweat, pain and hard work. Same with a successful mariage. It doesn't have to be like that the whole way. But it is going to happen. And knowing that help you to see with perspective when hard times happen.

You won't throw out your job at the first disagreement, wouldn't you? Marriage should be the same.

Now a disagreement in a marriage, and sweat, pain and hard work at a career are two very different things.

A dissagreement in a relationship is usually a good chance to open one's mind and learn some new point of view.
In a career, there's almost always a bottom-line, a set goal, and each decision either gets there or doesn't.

Last edited by Chemmie; 02.03.2011 at 18:17. Reason: tzpos
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  #90  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:19
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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I guess I'm just a lazy person, maybe effort means something totally different to me. If effort is required to get to know somebody, that usually tells me we're not compatible....neeext.
Huge constant disagreements, hysteria and drama are one thing. I've learned to avoid those like the plague. But how would you deal with your partner having a death in the family or getting sick? Then there's inevitable stress that comes with having kids (if you do choose to have them). No matter how compatible you are, it's never going to be effortless, not on a long enough timeline.

That said, marriage should be an extension of that understanding, not a prison that forces people to work things out. I'm not really a fan of the "I've got the beauracratic wall in place to keep him from ever leaving me too easily! Yaaay love!" attitude some people in this thread had. That's just borderline creepy.
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  #91  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:24
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Huge constant disagreements, hysteria and drama are one thing. I've learned to avoid those like the plague. But how would you deal with your partner having a death in the family or getting sick? Then there's inevitable stress that comes with having kids (if you do choose to have them). No matter how compatible you are, it's never going to be effortless, not on a long enough timeline.
Kids, perhaps that would require some effort. Knowing what kind of kid I was, I don't think I could handle an modern ankle-biter version of me. It does bring another person directly into the relationship, so compatibility is no longer guarenteed I can't comment on that one. Other than that, sickness, health, death, with the right person, I still don't think it requires extra effort where without the effort, a departure from the relationship would occur.
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  #92  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:29
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

Getting married for the sake of marriage is not a good approach. Neither is evaluating marriage based on personal benefits to one's self. Good marriage are based on cementing a relationship, for the sake of the relationship. It really only works when both parties look after the other, and the relationship, rather than looking after one's own interest..... Love, they call it.
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  #93  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:30
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Kids, perhaps that would require some effort. Knowing what kind of kid I was, I don't think I could handle an modern ankle-biter version of me. It does bring another person directly into the relationship, so compatibility is no longer guarenteed I can't comment on that one. Other than that, sickness, health, death, with the right person, I still don't think it requires extra effort where without the effort, a departure from the relationship would occur.

Wait until you meet the right person.............
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  #94  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:56
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Wait until you meet the right person.............

Hence the statement. With the right person no effort was ever required. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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  #95  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:56
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

Not enough poll options - I answered "I don't believe in marriages." but really that's not my view. I used to be against (for me), but now am pretty indifferent (not married, no plans to get married).

No problems with other people doing it though!

P.s. The one major hassle of not getting married though, is if one partner dies (and even more of a problem if there are children).
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  #96  
Old 02.03.2011, 18:59
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

I got married very young, just 20- despite being the only one in my class in the Gymnasium who had NO intention of getting married, having kids (or indeed, oh horror of horrors - becoming a teacher) until I had traveled the world and been to every rock festival. I met my OH in London, by chance- as I was on the wrong train, lol. After my 6 months temp contract was over, I returned to CH - and he came to visit and asked me to marry him. Perhaps had it not been for the fact I could not return to UK (this was in 70 way before Schengen!) - we might have just chosen to live together. I don't know. History now- as we met Easter 70 and married May 71.

Just had friends staying over with their teenage kids (from UK) - they've been together for 18 years, and their oldest is 16. They have absolutely no intention of getting married - their are both 'allergic' to the idea (she is divorced and quite a bit older than him). They are a fabulous family unit and the kids are very secure.

What I really don't get, is those who get married again, again and again! For me, it is a lifetime commitment and once is wonderful- but could never imagine committing to that extent ever again.
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  #97  
Old 02.03.2011, 19:06
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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What I really don't get, is those who get married again, again and again! For me, it is a lifetime commitment and once is wonderful- but could never imagine committing to that extent ever again.
Absolutely nothing wrong with trying it again and again. For many people, it is a dream that is a mark of adulthood and a sense of completion. Sometimes, the effort fails, that's all.
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  #98  
Old 02.03.2011, 19:11
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

Thanks, yes I agree, you are right. Twice perhaps- but I just don't get serial marriages. Comes a time when you have to come to the conclusion that it is not for you, somehow, perhaps? My mum's first marriage failed- and she did re-marry and was married to my dad for 64 years.
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  #99  
Old 02.03.2011, 19:21
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

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Thanks, yes I agree, you are right. Twice perhaps- but I just don't get serial marriages. Comes a time when you have to come to the conclusion that it is not for you, somehow, perhaps? My mum's first marriage failed- and she did re-marry and was married to my dad for 64 years.
Maybe some people just love to dress up in a dinner jacket or a white dress?
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  #100  
Old 02.03.2011, 19:31
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Re: So how important is Marriage to you?

Not me lol - I got married in a hospital theatre gown + bloodstains and drip hook-up! (a long story involving snow, a car and a tree).
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