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  #21  
Old 01.08.2021, 18:51
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Re: My friend

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Moderators. Why is Chuff not banned for repeatedly posting personal insults about others on the forum, instead of helping posters with useful answers?

Kind regards

Ian
Moderators, Why has eairicbloodaxe and a significant number of other posters not been banned for the heinous crime of not being able to spot obvious trolls and dupe account who post stories that make absolutely no sense and yet follow clear patterns from other accounts?

kind regards,

Cuthbert Cringeworthy.

Last edited by Chuff; 01.08.2021 at 20:45. Reason: Typos
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  #22  
Old 01.08.2021, 19:02
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Re: My friend

If Doropfiz puts in a complaint herself, then fair enough, but not Ďoutraged from Tunbridge Wellsí.
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  #23  
Old 01.08.2021, 19:24
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Re: My friend

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If Doropfiz puts in a complaint herself, then fair enough, but not Ďoutraged from Tunbridge Wellsí.
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  #24  
Old 01.08.2021, 22:21
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Re: My friend

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Moderators can you please remove the abusive posts?
Posts? How many abusive posts do you seen? Please either call out Cuthbert Cringeworthy directly or report the mildly offensive ďninnyĒ if you see fit. Removing stuff is no use.

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Moderators, Why has eairicbloodaxe and a significant number of other posters not been banned for the heinous crime of not being able to spot obvious trolls and dupe account who post stories that make absolutely no sense and yet follow clear patterns from other accounts?

kind regards,

Cuthbert Cringeworthy.
The mods canít help you now. You shall receive your just punishment by a dedicated team of vestal virgins who will spank your bum with vigorous abandon but excruciatingly refrain from oral sex
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  #25  
Old 02.08.2021, 10:02
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Re: My friend

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I agree, but if certain members chose to bait and intimidate the OP, this makes it less likely that useful information and dialogue will be forthcoming.

Thus this type of assumption can be self-fulfilling.
That is true.
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  #26  
Old 02.08.2021, 10:04
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Re: My friend

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Moderators, Why has eairicbloodaxe and a significant number of other posters not been banned for the heinous crime of not being able to spot obvious trolls and dupe account who post stories that make absolutely no sense and yet follow clear patterns from other accounts?

kind regards,

Cuthbert Cringeworthy.
Ah - you only insult "obvious" trolls and dupe accounts.

Can't say I'd noticed that behaviour was limited to those. But well done you for having super powers above and beyond those of the mods.
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  #27  
Old 02.08.2021, 11:06
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Re: My friend

Folks, how about this: if a poster has the patience of a saint, then let that person be helpful.

I enjoy a good troll spotting as much as the next person but some people who are in genuine mental distress very much don't have their ducks in a row when it comes to explaining problems. So unless they are evidently trying to set up some scam or are telling harmful lies, let's maybe hold off from piling on to their thread?

After all, the information so helpfully shared may benefit some other user who is too ashamed to come forward under similar circumstances. So even if the OP is indeed telling tall tales, it does not take away from the validity of the responses they receive.

OP, you mentioned this:
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I have a really close friend who suffered a stroke recently and has been fired from work and is on 80% salary.
80% of an average salary is enough to make your own living arrangements. If they are living with you because they need so support of sharing a place, then you should refer them to social services and possibly the services in charge of those facing partial invalidity. After a stroke, there should be extensive rehabilitation measures in order to maintain and hopefully even improve functionality. If this doesn't happen, the effects of the stroke can be worsened and lead to a further degeneration. As a true friend, you need to switch to "tough love" and make sure your friend gets both the financial and medical help that they need.

If your various issues that you describe are indeed real, then you need to figure out how to section off the parts that are not truly your problem. Your friend's comfort is less important than your own long-term wellbeing or that of your family.
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  #28  
Old 02.08.2021, 16:28
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Re: My friend

I think we are collectively very well able to deal with trolls. And I don't have a problem with that. But it also means we should be able to hold back and be nice until we know for sure that the person is making fun of us rather than seeking genuine help.

We should never exclude the possibility that a poster who comes across as being clumsy may be genuine and is maybe, for whatever reason, struggling to express themselves ably or to read between the lines of what we say or judge a situation correctly.

The OP seems to have dropped out of these conversations and the EF as a whole. If the OP was a troll then good riddance to them (but most trolls don't give up that quickly, which makes me suspect that maybe they were not a troll). If we chased away somebody who was genuinely in need of help, that was an ignoble thing to do.
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  #29  
Old 02.08.2021, 16:32
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Re: My friend

My honest opinion is it's the person who was posting as Justin and under another name not long ago. It's the same style of writing and post. If you want to be clever then you have to use different "voices".
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  #30  
Old 02.08.2021, 17:18
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Re: My friend

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Hardly abusive.
(Note, Iím no fan of Chuff)
It was certainly a direct insult and, IIRC, not the first time that one has been directed at Doro.
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  #31  
Old 02.08.2021, 17:20
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Re: My friend

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Folks, how about this: if a poster has the patience of a saint, then let that person be helpful.
Fully support the above. If you (as most of us) aren't a saint, question the OP and not a helpful poster first. As others have stated, calling out the OP has its issues as well. No reason to malign the less cynical on here though.
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  #32  
Old 02.08.2021, 20:36
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Re: My friend

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Moderators. Why is Chuff not banned for repeatedly posting personal insults about others on the forum, instead of helping posters with useful answers?


Kind regards


Ian



Moderators - by which I mean FMF as he seems to be currently the most prolific.


How long does it take to get an answer, when not just me but a significant number of posters on this thread have called out Chuff for his behaviour?

You can tell us we are wrong, if you like. But tell us.

Regards




Ian
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  #33  
Old 02.08.2021, 21:10
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Re: My friend

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*asking to speak the manager, re-derailing the thread after it got back on track*
Maybe take this into the private message realm? I'm not taking sides, just tired of the bickering seeping into so many threads.
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  #34  
Old 04.08.2021, 19:43
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Re: My friend

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Was he fired while on sickleave?
No he was let go on temporarily leave
Iíve had this chat with him and he canít afford to pay me rent and I can not bring my self to throw him out.
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  #35  
Old 04.08.2021, 19:45
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Re: My friend

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I think we are collectively very well able to deal with trolls. And I don't have a problem with that. But it also means we should be able to hold back and be nice until we know for sure that the person is making fun of us rather than seeking genuine help.

We should never exclude the possibility that a poster who comes across as being clumsy may be genuine and is maybe, for whatever reason, struggling to express themselves ably or to read between the lines of what we say or judge a situation correctly.

The OP seems to have dropped out of these conversations and the EF as a whole. If the OP was a troll then good riddance to them (but most trolls don't give up that quickly, which makes me suspect that maybe they were not a troll). If we chased away somebody who was genuinely in need of help, that was an ignoble thing to do.
Thank you for the above I am trying my best but this website is just full of people who call me a troll I am just using this as a resource for help
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  #36  
Old 04.08.2021, 20:05
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Re: My friend

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Thank you for the above I am trying my best but this website is just full of people who call me a troll I am just using this as a resource for help
This forum is not only full of those who call you a troll. I surmise that you don't know most of the people on this forum, and certainly I don't. Therefore, no-one besides you can really know whether or not you are a troll, or whether or not you're using this as a resource for help.

It's true that this forum (like some other fora, and like Real Life) has a share of people who post nastiness. [I've never understood why anyone would bother to do so, but I don't know those people personally, either, and each of us has our own reasons for posting as we choose to do. That knowledge is the privilege of each of us, privately.] However, this forum also contains a remarkably wide range of resources, put there by many users, over the years, who contribute in ways I've found educational and sometimes wonderfully helpful, and I've learnt a great deal from the advice of others, here.

I'd like to encourage you to skip over any posts that you don't think are useful or kind, to you, personally. Instead, just focus on gathering what you need from any responses which you (by your own personal criteria) do find to be informative or to contain potentially useful advice.

Last edited by doropfiz; 07.08.2021 at 03:16.
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  #37  
Old 04.08.2021, 20:31
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Re: My friend

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I like helping people it’s how I have been brought up.
It is a fine thing that you like helping people. That's a delicate balance to get right:
  • how much one yearns to be able to help,
  • how much one helps out of a sense of duty,
  • how much can one afford to help, immediately, or temporarily, or on an ongoing basis,
  • whether one is the right or most useful person to help,
  • whether or not the help one gives is properly helpful to the recipient, and effective short-term and long-term,
  • when continuing to help begins to feel unfair (and how much of that uncomfortable feeling one can put up with, for how long, and what would help to make it fair again), and
  • when the person receiving the help is being just plain exploitative.

When firefighters go into burning buildings to try to put out the fire and rescue anyone still in there, they first take the time to put on their own protective gear. They also try to keep non-protected laypersons from going in to attempt to rescue anyone, lest they succumb. Likewise, in airplanes, the attendant explaining the emergency procedures for lack of cabin pressure and oxygen, always says words to this effect: "Place the mask firmly over your nose and mouth and breathe freely before attempting to help others."

There's wisdom to this: if the helper collapses while trying to help, or even sustains too much of an injury from being poorly equipped, they're going to turn out to be a less helpful helper to the helpee. Therefore, one of the most useful things a helper can do is to properly equip themselves with the facts and the necessary gear, so that they can keep themselves safe, and thereby have longer staying-power, both for themselves, and for those they wish to help. After all, no-one can be all things for all people; we're all limited.

From your other posts, it seems that your resources of all kinds are stretched. Perhaps this might be a good time for you to take stock and to work out which of your help projects (including those for yourself) to prioritise, and which to reduce because they do you harm, or to park (for a while), or even to strike off your list. I don't envy you, as those are often not easy choices to make.
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  #38  
Old 04.08.2021, 21:05
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Re: My friend

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No he was let go on temporarily leave
Iíve had this chat with him and he canít afford to pay me rent and I can not bring my self to throw him out.
Was he let go due to his stroke?
I am just asking since there are laws in place that offer some protection.
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