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Old 26.08.2021, 19:09
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

If this is for real it's a horrible situation to be in, something like this happened to a former work colleague of mines in London but it was with a couple.
They'd all been friends at university and stayed in contact from time to time after graduation. A few years later the two who were a couple found jobs in London but were looking for a flat to rent, so my colleague said they could stay with her in her 1 bed flat for a short period until they found a place.

She gave them her bedroom, thinking it would be for a max of 4 weeks. Let me tell you they were still there 2 years later. It was like they just took over, when she was out at work they even moved all of her stuff out of the bedroom and put her clothes on a rail in the hall.

She was a very quiet person and so stressed out it was unreal. They'd just make excuses they were finding it hard to find somewhere decent, certain areas they looked at were too expensive etc.

It ended up with her having to sell her flat to get rid of them and as she spoke fluent German and French the bank we worked for got her a transfer to the office in Berlin as she needed to get away from London. The couple she thought were her friends took advantage of and manipulated the fact she was quiet and non confrontational. I like to think they got some bad karma after what they did.
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  #62  
Old 26.08.2021, 19:42
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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So the police act illegaly when they flash you from ahead you for speeding.

Quick, you need to tell them immediately!
Otherwise people will report them for their illegal behaviour!

Also, the video clip of the Gymi pupils who destroyed that fancy PlexiglasBrunnen in Winterthur was completely illegal, let alone the police when they made public in order to catch the culprits!
The list could go on endlessly.

Glad you let us know with your emojs that you know yourself that once again you lost the plot and fight for the last word even if it means changing the subject completely

And as always when you go bonkers, I leave you to it.
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Old 26.08.2021, 21:23
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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2 "risks" you need to consider:

1) Make sure in those "pleasant" moments you resist any urge to sleep with her. You don't want to be on the hook for a kid with an unstable woman......think 18 years of child support.

2) Do NOT engage in any arguments with her. In today's feminist gynocentric society, she can make a simple phone call to the police claiming that you hit/threatened/abused her and you will be guilty until proven innocent.

Simply call the police, explain the situation, tell them you don't want any issues (as in point 2) and get them to expel her.

Best of luck. Would have been cheaper/less hassle for you to go to Langstrasse or an FKK club!
Says a lot about the state of EF nowadays that absolute dross like this gets that amount of likes. " Gynocentric society" is probably the most stupid thing I've read on the internet this month.
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  #64  
Old 26.08.2021, 21:48
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Says a lot about the state of EF nowadays that absolute dross like this gets that amount of likes. " Gynocentric society" is probably the most stupid thing I've read on the internet this month.
And - by God - there is some FIERCE competition out there at the moment.
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Old 26.08.2021, 22:14
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Says a lot about the state of EF nowadays that absolute dross like this gets that amount of likes. " Gynocentric society" is probably the most stupid thing I've read on the internet this month.
This is such a lame comment. Numerous examples of gynocentric society during last 10 years. Take Assange as example, he has been confied to 4 walls for what 7-8 years? base on false accusations by a woman that after sex in the evening had another sex during the night that happened to be non-consensual ???

Last edited by otec; 26.08.2021 at 23:34.
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  #66  
Old 26.08.2021, 22:29
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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I leave you to it.
Excellent!
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Old 26.08.2021, 22:58
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

I don't know the law in Switzerland:
What I do know is that a manipulative POS can make all sorts of fake allegations: rape, abuse, he hit me. It's all she says against he said. You are older and she is younger, you probably won't get too much sympathy either...

The advice of going to the police and asking what to do is ok - I would go to a solicitor instead, as the police is not the answer to everything and can complicate things. The solicitor will tell you what your rights are. If you can chuck her stuff in the hallway and tell her to off and that she can't come in the flat any longer. Do that. It's pretty easy and then change the lock.

Cost: lock change
Time: pack her shit throw them in the hallway

Make sure you can do this and have a solicitor validate it.

Offering to find a flat for her etc... Are you kidding me? We had a tenant abusing my wife in her property management business. I had to force my wife to stop being nice and giving in - manipulative scum bags will take something and always take more. There is no stopping. You HAVE to make a hard stop and that means to do something abrupt in terms of timing.

Good luck
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Old 26.08.2021, 23:12
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

It seems that most replies address the situation from a legal/practical point of view. There is a certain need for that, of course, but I feel that most replies so far miss the point.

From a *purely* legal/practical point of view, the situation is nowhere near as complicated as OP wants to believe. The real issue at hand is not a legal, but an emotional one - namely, OP's codependence and loneliness.

I'm not trying to be mean or minimise the problem - quite the contrary. The problem is actually bigger than people here realise. Years of therapy and changing oneself as a person is a much, much more time-consuming, complicated and expensive endeavour than throwing someone's belongings on the street and calling the police and changing the locks and whatnot.

Last edited by kingfisherq; 27.08.2021 at 01:09.
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Old 27.08.2021, 08:02
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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The real issue at hand is not a legal, but an emotional one - namely, OP's codependence and loneliness.

I'm not trying to be mean or minimise the problem - quite the contrary. The problem is actually bigger than people here realise. Years of therapy and changing oneself as a person is a much, much more time-consuming, complicated and expensive endeavour than throwing someone's belongings on the street and calling the police and changing the locks and whatnot.
wtf... she has been there only 6 weeks for what sounds like a largely nookie-based time. Where does the "co-dependence and years of therapy" come into it?
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Old 27.08.2021, 08:24
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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This is such a lame comment. Numerous examples of gynocentric society during last 10 years. Take Assange as example, he has been confied to 4 walls for what 7-8 years? base on false accusations by a woman that after sex in the evening had another sex during the night that happened to be non-consensual ???
For every Assange, there are a 100 examples of men continuing to get away with misogynistic shit.
I think most men who believe that society is now 'gynocentric' are still coming to terms with people challenging the age old belief that patriarchy ( and all the other crap associated with it ) is ordained by god.
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Old 27.08.2021, 08:38
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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For every Assange, there are a 100 examples of men continuing to get away with misogynistic shit.
I think most men who believe that society is now 'gynocentric' are still coming to terms with people challenging the age old belief that patriarchy ( and all the other crap associated with it ) is ordained by god.
I think it is patently clear that anyone who says we live in a 'gynocentric world', despite humanity having suffered (and still suffering from) untold millennia of patriarchal rule where women are routinely abused and suppressed, is an abject moron. We are still very much in a heavily male-dominated world and equality is still far, far from being achieved on a global scale, so just leave sch people who say that kind of thing to their own delusions. All such illogical blanket statements like that simply stem from an individuals own fears and insecurities with regards to the opposite sex, and on this forum we have some particular examples of lame-assed misogynists.
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  #72  
Old 27.08.2021, 10:06
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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I think it is patently clear that anyone who says we live in a 'gynocentric world', despite humanity having suffered (and still suffering from) untold millennia of patriarchal rule where women are routinely abused and suppressed, is an abject moron. We are still very much in a heavily male-dominated world and equality is still far, far from being achieved on a global scale, so just leave sch people who say that kind of thing to their own delusions. All such illogical blanket statements like that simply stem from an individuals own fears and insecurities with regards to the opposite sex, and on this forum we have some particular examples of lame-assed misogynists.

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  #73  
Old 27.08.2021, 10:26
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Says a lot about the state of EF nowadays that absolute dross like this gets that amount of likes. " Gynocentric society" is probably the most stupid thing I've read on the internet this month.
It was actually some of the more practical advice offered, even if the feminists don't like it.

And I think it's good if EF alllows diverse opinions instead of censoring and only allowing Correct Opinons™ to be expressed.

Last edited by vushka; 27.08.2021 at 11:17. Reason: Added
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  #74  
Old 27.08.2021, 16:21
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

@OP: I so hope you used protection....
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Old 27.08.2021, 17:48
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Take Assange as example, he has been confied to 4 walls for what 7-8 years? base on false accusations by a woman that after sex in the evening had another sex during the night that happened to be non-consensual ???
Julian Assange is your fallacious straw man? is it difficult to understand that a person can consent to having sex once, and then not give consent again?

In 2010, Assange allegedly sexually assaulted 2 women in Stockholm, one of whom woke up to find him having unprotected non-consensual sex with her.

His 7 - 8 year confinement was where he holed up at the Ecuadorian embassy to avoid extradition from the UK to Sweden, because he was afraid that he would then be extradited to the US to face charges relating to WikiLeaks.

Swedish prosecutors dropped the investigation, as they saw no prospect of prosecuting him, then reopened the case when he was removed from the Ecuadorian embassy.

He's still in Belmarsh.
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Old 27.08.2021, 17:58
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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This is such a lame comment. Numerous examples of gynocentric society during last 10 years. Take Assange as example, he has been confied to 4 walls for what 7-8 years? base on false accusations by a woman that after sex in the evening had another sex during the night that happened to be non-consensual ???

Rape, sexual violence and violence beyond that, can be committed by men who live with women, men who are friends with women, men who once had relationships with women, men who are married to women, men who live within the same neighbourhood as women...


The biggest danger to us isn't strangers statistically. We're more under threat from men we know attacking, raping or killing us statistically.


Do you understand that consent is required to touch a woman any and every time, whether we know the man concerned, or not?
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  #77  
Old 27.08.2021, 18:10
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

Why is this now a discussion about abusive men?

@OP, what's happening now?
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  #78  
Old 27.08.2021, 18:12
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Julian Assange is your fallacious straw man? is it difficult to understand that a person can consent to having sex once, and then not give consent again?

In 2010, Assange allegedly sexually assaulted 2 women in Stockholm, one of whom woke up to find him having unprotected non-consensual sex with her.

His 7 - 8 year confinement was where he holed up at the Ecuadorian embassy to avoid extradition from the UK to Sweden, because he was afraid that he would then be extradited to the US to face charges relating to WikiLeaks.

Swedish prosecutors dropped the investigation, as they saw no prospect of prosecuting him, then reopened the case when he was removed from the Ecuadorian embassy.

He's still in Belmarsh.
Let's leave Assange out of this. I don't like the bloke much, but more importantly it's of no help to the OP.
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Old 27.08.2021, 19:20
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Rape, sexual violence and violence beyond that, can be committed by men who live with women, men who are friends with women, men who once had relationships with women, men who are married to women, men who live within the same neighbourhood as women...


The biggest danger to us isn't strangers statistically. We're more under threat from men we know attacking, raping or killing us statistically.


Do you understand that consent is required to touch a woman any and every time, whether we know the man concerned, or not?
This thread isn't about sex, or rape, or anything like that.

Please start your own thread on these topics and stop de-railing this one.
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Old 27.08.2021, 19:24
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Re: Verbally abusive house guest who refuses to leave

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Rape, sexual violence and violence beyond that, can be committed by men who live with women, men who are friends with women, men who once had relationships with women, men who are married to women, men who live within the same neighbourhood as women...

The biggest danger to us isn't strangers statistically. We're more under threat from men we know attacking, raping or killing us statistically.

Do you understand that consent is required to touch a woman any and every time, whether we know the man concerned, or not?
Yes, this is so. Everyone, everywhere, has to have consent before touching anyone else. And there's that excellent little video of Tea and Consent, made by a the British Thames Valley Police (animation Emmeline May, rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com) to explain what consent is and is not.
https://youtu.be/upAdaOmiRX8

People of any gender can and do become victims of sexual violence, from perpetrators of any gender. And yes, it is, tragically, often from people they know.

As far as I've been told, the perpetrators against boys, girls and women are less likely to be strangers (although that happens, too) and more likely to be someone they know quite well and whom the environment trusts (or chooses to look away, preferring not to know what they could find out were they to look and listen more carefully).

While that is also true for adult male victims of sexual abuse, they are somewhat more vulnerable to attacks by strangers or casual acquaintances, than are boys, girls and women. Adult male victims are, though, the most vulnerable in terms of being believed, not being mocked, and being provided with adequate help, so these higher hurdles make it more difficult for them to dare to report the abuse.

Now, back to OP's posts in this thread.
Sexual abuse isn't OP's topic. Instead, he is trying to decide what to do, given that his encounter with the woman at first seemed to be a welcome romantic and sexual connection, but later turned into a situation in which he has been subjected to verbal and phyisical abuse.

OP, how are you, and have you managed to take any decisions, and restore your safety? I hope so.
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