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Old 23.08.2010, 21:06
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Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Oh, I am on the other hand don't know what to do with my neighbor. She rents our little house next to our house and often goes to our swimming pool when we are not there and once we found out, she asked the permission from my bf. He is very nice to woman and say yes though he doesn't like her manner. Not to mention, she often took our wood to grill because we have a lot. Then yesterday, she came home with a strange guy and later asked my bf to use the pool with the guy. My bf did not say no but he asked who is that guy, and later they went swimming together. I am not selfish but actually I feel it comes to the limit, since our privacy is violated. But what will you do in this situation?
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:24
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Next time send her a bill along with Neboskosten / rent for using the pool or tell her the rent is raised as she uses the pool.
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:25
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

I had a lot of trouble thinking up the title after moving this post from the Thread about trees! It seems to me that the problem is caused, in part at least, by a lack of communication. If your boy-friend doesn't say specifically 'NO' when permission to use the pool is requested, then you can hardly complain that the lady (and her guest) are doing it against your wishes.

Firstly, you must make it clear (to your boy-friend) that you don't like it and if he is not prepared to say no, then you must perhaps write the lady a letter saying that the swimming pool is for your use alone.
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:28
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

You could also start farming Piranha's or electric eels. Then the problem will cease by itself.
The downside is, it will not be enjoyable for you to use the pool yourself.

Doc.
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:29
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Just get your boyfriend to talk to the woman and say "no more". Much better than writing a letter, which would be pretty poor behaviour considering he already said she could use the pool.
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:29
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Difficult one. I would and confront them and ask that they don't make use of your swimming pool any more. Perhaps follow up with a letter. I would be polite but firm and completely clear about things. Presumably thereafter they would be trespassing on your property if they used your swimming pool again and you could decide how to proceed from there.

Only an opinion, and definitely a problem I wish I had!
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:32
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

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Just get your boyfriend to talk to the woman and say "no more". Much better than writing a letter, which would be pretty poor behaviour considering he already said she could use the pool.
Basically I agree - the reason I suggested a letter is because I had the feeling the boyfriend didn't like the idea of saying no. Didn't he realize his girl friend didn't like it? Or perhaps I read too much into it. I'd certainly try verbal communication first.
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Old 23.08.2010, 21:50
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

It's very complicated situation in my opinion since the house belongs to the parents and we just lived here around 3 years, and I am a foreigner and have little voice. I have to say my bf does not like it either, even more than me but he is quite soft and moreover, the contracts were signed by the parents. We live in a little community and everybody knows each other.

My bf said he just wants to kick them out because of their trouble but he is afraid of the community. I don't know what the neighbor does, she stays at home all the time and occasionally some men comes to her for massage service. Yes, she is Swiss. She has close relation with all the women around, they chat with each other every day. I think I am the only foreigner here. Yesterday, when I was swimming and she just came to swim with me and I had to be careful not to crash into her.

Another neighbor is even more troublesome. She rents the stable for her horses and we have to pay for the electricity, water... just pay 600 chf per month. Of course, take our grass cutter without permission and the last time when the mother came, tried to convince her to pay 3000 for their new grass cutter and they will cut the grass in exchange. They never do that. But they always come to the mother, tell her nice things then we cannot change the contracts or push them out because the mother will get angry and worry if people around think she is mean.

I don't know how it works here but in my country we just simply ask them out because it's our house. Here you need to care about everything around.
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:03
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

So tell your mother the real story about what's happening? Sounds more like they just see you both as a complete pushover though and know they can get away with it because you don't stand up for yourselves. You will need to be careful though or risk alienating all of your neighbours...
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:13
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

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It's very complicated situation in my opinion since the house belongs to the parents and we just lived here around 3 years, and I am a foreigner and have little voice. I have to say my bf does not like it either, even more than me but he is quite soft and moreover, the contracts were signed by the parents. We live in a little community and everybody knows each other.

My bf said he just wants to kick them out because of their trouble but he is afraid of the community. I don't know what the neighbor does, she stays at home all the time and occasionally some men comes to her for massage service. Yes, she is Swiss. She has close relation with all the women around, they chat with each other every day. I think I am the only foreigner here. Yesterday, when I was swimming and she just came to swim with me and I had to be careful not to crash into her.

Another neighbor is even more troublesome. She rents the stable for her horses and we have to pay for the electricity, water... just pay 600 chf per month. Of course, take our grass cutter without permission and the last time when the mother came, tried to convince her to pay 3000 for their new grass cutter and they will cut the grass in exchange. They never do that. But they always come to the mother, tell her nice things then we cannot change the contracts or push them out because the mother will get angry and worry if people around think she is mean.

I don't know how it works here but in my country we just simply ask them out because it's our house. Here you need to care about everything around.
I'm replying cause you struck a nerve with me.

You say you're a foreigner and have little voice?? I think that's a bunch of BS in my opinion! I'm a foreigner (from the US) and accustom to foreigners coming to my country (US) and having a big voice (perhaps too big of a voice). I don't see why being a foreigner should stop you from voicing your complaint here in CH!

If anything that bothers me with alot of expats in Switzerland is how "timid" or "wuss" alot of them are! So many times I see auslanders take garbage from our Swiss hosts! Well, I'm one that doesn't, and am proud to have decked a Swiss recently for a transgression against me (big guy too..I think I made him tear up..and I,m a small guy!!).

I say adapt to the CH culture..of course.....but don't get stepped on...tell that Swiss lady to get the hell out of your pool...you first mistake was let her get in!! You pay taxes here too ....you do know that right??!! I also say...call the police!! Do what they do...I mean..its just adapting to the culture after all eh?
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:16
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

I agree kick them out ther are taking the p***
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:24
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Get one of these in your swimmingpool


Last edited by vwild1; 23.08.2010 at 23:38. Reason: fixed youtube link
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:48
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

We tried to talk with the mother but she just did not want to listen or did not want to lose her face . Anyway, she travels all the year around, just comes home to change clothes or stock up her luggage so she never cares.

We fought with her sometimes and it just makes her dislike me. If I can describe the mother, I can finish a book. So basically, she doesn't like foreigners in general and I don't want to be the reason why the son disagrees with the mother.

Perhaps I have to be a little mean, will convince my bf everyday, little by little until he talks to them. He is very nice but so soft. He gives money to everyone who rings to door with any reason.
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Old 23.08.2010, 22:57
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

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He gives money to everyone who rings to door with any reason.
What was your address please?
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:04
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

It's true. You can come and act like a student without money and he will tell you, show me your student card. If you don't have, he will say I know your trick but I only have 20 CHF for you.

The other time, a woman came and pretended to raise money for some funds without and documents, still, money given. And he is happy because he still remembered the woman (she came several times).

Or you can go and try to sell him something, he will not buy but still give you money. Of course, it's not mine so I cannot do anything. Luckily, they just come once a year each person ).
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:30
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Seriously........ Is this a joke?

I'm sorry but if you are both that soft, then just put up with it.

a) apparently mother wears the pants, and you won't do anything about the chick not to upset 'mother'
b) Unless it's for Cancer or the Red Cross..... who the fffffff gives money to random people at the door. NO STUDENT is that poor to beg door to door. They are USING YOU !!!! WAKE UP.
c) Get your BF to grow some hair on his peaches - tell the swimming chick that "Summer is over", Stand up to his mother (who is apparently never there) and that will be the end of it.


If you don't stand up for yourselves, it will boil up inside you, then you will say something you will regret - THEN the community will be against you.

Sweetheart -Nobody is that foreign that they don't have a voice.


....Ever heard the expression "Nice guys finish last"?
What position do you see yourself in?

Come on- this may sound a bit harsh, and I'm sorry, but you guys REALLY need a push along.
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:32
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Put up a sign saying "Danger. Bacteria!" oe something like it.

You could just have a sneaky pee in it.

Or join in and freak them the feck out next time.
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:37
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Wow.

Really, wow!

May I recommend the services of Parkadam. Clearly he could take care of this simple business that you and your girlfriend are incapable of dealing with.

Wow.

Really, wow!

Last edited by vwild1; 23.08.2010 at 23:40. Reason: merged 2 successive posts into 1
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:44
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

Yeah, it's not a joke and I am thinking of leaving Switzerland in the next few months if things haven't changed. I mean everything including the jobless situation.
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Old 23.08.2010, 23:48
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Re: Neighbour uses our private swimming pool

I really think you guys should source some sort of course like this on your own:

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...pe=doc&id=9778

It's not "Mental Help" as the weblink indicates, it's about being "Assertive".

You have to learn how to project yourselves confidently.


This I'm actually serious about. I don't like to read about how easy it is to walk over you, AND the fact that you post that you just give money away.

It's not right. People are going to take advantage of you in a devastating way if you don't sort this out.
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