Britain needs one more law: the highest paid manager (Including his bonus, mortgage, car etc.) must not be paid more than 30 times the lowest employee. Anything over would be taxed at 99%.

Britain should resign from those human rights agreements which produce ridiculous results. For instance those laws enabling criminals to sue victims. I want to enable home owners to shoot or knife burglars. For fathers to beat up drug dealers without being arrested. I want the good guys to be able to win again.

During a 3 week visit to London and Dorset last month we were very pleased that generally the feeling on the streets was happy and confident. Things seem to be getting better. Customer service is creeping back again. People are helpful and no longer always grumpy.

Bring back hanging ..... baskets. A load of flowers on every balcony would brighten the place up.

Put Max Mosely in charge of corporal punishment for young offenders. They get laid which might make them less aggresive plus secret photos of them naked from a nipple-cam can be plastered up around their hood to embarass them.

Force everyone to great one another on while walking down the street with a chirpy Good Morning, Evening Day just like in the good old days. Same goes for drivers in stationery traffic.

Make the queen wear a comedy nose, false moustache and silly wig once a week and put a whoopee cushion under her seat at the dining table every so often and see if she can smile a bit.

Help with the Government's policy of banning entry to the country of people spreading mesages of racial hatred and intolerance at the same time as helping with David Cameron's Happiness Index initiative by barring Dougal's Breakfast from re-entering the UK and making everyone feel depressed about the hole they live in. If he re-enters he must serve a minimum of 3 years teaching in Cannock Young Offenders Facitity.

Instant fines for littering or dog fouling. Rename the country New Singapore.

Change the capital city to Newcastle or Manchester to help make the nation a bit friendlier.

Force unemployed youths to learn a trade in car mechanics and help rebuild Rowan Atkinson's McClaren F1 and fix his other motors as and when he invariably prangs his next one.

Replace the english when anyone else

Well, we're definitely going in that direction anyway!

or just go back to 70's type of police...

or further back still, to Dixon of Dock Green (so my parents tell me)

I see its done wonders for the cricket team

A few well placed nukes.

Revoke whatever was "voked" at Agincourt and let the English be ruled by the French.

Non-optional dental care for all those lousy sets of fangs and enforced exposure to the sun. No more re-runs of wartime movies or soccer finals to artificially cheer society up. Teach school kids that having an empire ill prepares future generations how to manage and nurture the Commonwealth. From winners to losers in such a short time span is right up there with New Socialism as icons of failed impressions of grandeur.

The only thing I'd miss if England sank was the rock music scene and the Avro Vulcan.

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Crash your karma into little bits of happiness

The UK should stop sending it's young men to the middle east in order to kill men, women and children for their oil. If a foreign invader killed any of my family, I would hate them and become a freedom fighter / terrorist.

The chelsea tractor driving f*ukwits should be forced to sell their 4x4s so the UK, US etc. don't have to invade so many countries in order to fuel it.

Gee.... how many times have you seen Pink Floyd "The Wall" ?

Perhaps the US could take heed of the lesson then ... 200 years for the Commonwealth to be a power base wasn't so bad when compared to all the other power bases ...
Lets assume the US started as the world power in 1945 - how long has it's power got to run?

The cycles are a few hundred years..

Re-nationalise the railways
Confiscate passports from Brits who behave badly abroad
Bring back prison chain gangs and hard labour
1 year National Service (military or social work)
Massive tax breaks for manufacturing industries
Regulate the rental housing market
Escalating tax rates for multiple property ownership
Abolish Mickey Mouse University degrees and make apprenticeships more attractive
Make politicians criminally culpable for wasting public money (e.g. £1billion spent on an obsolete IT system )
Ban 600% APR loan sharks
Ban no-win-no-fee ambulance chasers
Introduce a junk food tax but gym membership subsidies

When do I start?

Stop complaining about everything

Doing this and trying to revive the economy by spending a little bit.

Well, Brits could stop being so defensive and blind to their country's faults every time someone dares suggest a few reasons why they might dislike the United Kingdom.

Quite frankly, their chauvinism is embarrassing.

Paint all houses and buildings white/bright clours instead of miserable red bricks/ dark ones to make up for the total lack of sunshine

This from the man that thinks people need to have more respect for their neighbourhoods, and laughs at any of the people who do.

I suspect he meant Neds...