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  #81  
Old 04.12.2011, 19:33
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Re: Mixed racial marriages

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White man marrying non white woman is relatively acceptable in the eyes of lot of racists. White woman marrying non white on the other hand is very bad for them
Indeed.

My wife's first husband was vietnamese!

(imagine her shock when we went shopping at my favorite oriental shop, and they were all relatives of her EX! )

Tom
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  #82  
Old 04.12.2011, 20:10
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Re: Mixed racial marriages

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I think it ultimately comes down to who is the "other", so it's not just a white/brown thing. Both sides of my family had issues when my parents got married (a Puerto Rican to an Indian). I had a friend in college whose Korean parents wouldn't accept her Jewish boyfriend. Another whose Jewish parents wouldn't accept her Chinese boyfriend. And another whose Italian parents wouldn't accept his African-American girlfriend, while her family wouldn't accept him. And another whose Guatemalan boyfriend wasn't accepted by her Mexican family, even though you'd think by looking at them all they were one family. When dating, I was shunned by the families of a Puerto Rican (being half Puerto Rican, I wasn't good enough), a white American, and a guy from Singapore of Chinese parents. I ended up marrying a white German and his family welcomed me with open arms (ok, except for one of my husband's grandmothers...).

I really think censure and failure to condone a marriage can stem from any one of a million reasons, from serious racism and hatred to something as simple as being afraid their loved ones are making life more difficult for themselves by choosing someone of a different culture, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Ultimately I consider it a sign of ignorance and fear. And as far as I'm concerned, this happens everywhere -- the US, Europe, Asia, Latin America, etc.

What makes me mad is one area pointing to another and saying how bad the others are when they do a similar thing themselves. Maybe the manifestations are different and are less extreme in some places, but I don't think you can go anywhere in this world where it doesn't happen. The most liberal place I've ever lived in was Berkeley, California, where people of any mix you could imagine walk down the street holding hands every day, and yet I witnessed some pretty bad racism and discrimination there too.

My view is, as long as the racism/discrimination isn't so widespread that I can't get a job or find a place to live, I try to distance myself from it and just surround myself with people who accept me. Why be a member of a group that doesn't want you? There will always be other friends, other churches/organizations, other cities, and even other family members.

And although it's sometimes hard, one also needs to remember that sometimes it may feel like something racist or discriminatory is happening, when really it was just a bad choice of words coming from someone who didn't think before they spoke, or even just something getting lost in translation or cultural differences.
You just made my dayThanks for your postig
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  #83  
Old 04.12.2011, 20:38
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Re: Mixed racial marriages

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You just made my dayThanks for your postig
You are quite welcome.
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  #84  
Old 04.12.2011, 22:34
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Re: Mixed racial marriages

I don't know what y'all are on about...I just agree with Jane Elliott: race - human, sex - yeah!

Just kidding - great discussion, and thanks to the Prof. for posting the video, which taught me humility today.
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  #85  
Old 05.12.2011, 13:25
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Re: Mixed racial marriages

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(I guess now is not the right time to mention that the brown person I have been referring to may be a banker...)
aha, I thought there was an elephant in the room somewhere
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